Well, the worst thing I thought possible happened to me today. I found out that the guy I like already has a girlfriend. :cry: The really bad thing about is that I was actually going to ask him out today. :(

My friend and I went in to see him at work today, and it seemed like he was in a really big hurry to get rid of us. Then this girl came up behind him and started talking to him. She looked like she was about 12 or 13. At first I thought, "Maybe he does have a girlfriend." Then I thought, "But she looks too young. Maybe that's his little sister or something." Well, he told us he was going to go take a break, and when he walked out of the cubicle he started holding her hand. :cry: Then I understood, and my friend and I walked away quietly.

My friend said at least I didn't ask him in front of her and I still might have a friend. I think my mom understands that I'm really heartbroken about what happened, but she told me I didn't really know him that well anyway. She also said what if I started going out with him and then realized he wasn't the one for me. But the way that I think of it is is what if he was the right kind of guy for me? I know don't know him all that well, but that's why I go out with him a couple of times and get to know him better. But from what we've talked about, it seemed like we had a lot in common. Apparently he wasn't the right guy for me. :cry: So much for that. :ego:

This always happens to me. I find a guy that I would really like to get to know better and maybe date him, and then it always turns out that he's not interested or he already has a girlfriend. It's like I'm repellent to most guys. I've only had one real boyfriend, and we lasted for about three months. I'm starting to think that with this luck I will never find anyone. No, it's not that I think I need a boyfriend in order to live or whatever, I'm just lonely and I would like to have someone to share my life with.

I think it's time for me to go take a nice hot bath and have a good cry. :cry:

Yup Snowflake, been there, done that.

This isn't as big of a deal for me now as I'm in my late 20's, but when I was in my teens and early 20's, it was a much bigger deal.

Let me tell you how I see these things from my perspective.

There is ALWAYS someone else. Always. During high school and even the years following, I was constantly met with rejection. I've had girls reject me for not having the right car, not having a high enough income, and other stupid things.

I recall where I used to work, we had a company we partnered with about 50 miles away, and there was some chick who worked there that I really liked. Never met her, but we talked on the phone many, many times. After several talks, I was trying to think of a way to ask her on a date. She never mentioned a boyfriend, and never dropped ANY hints. Not once.

One day I asked her about some movies, trying to hint that I wanted to go see a movie with her. She had supposedly seen them all, but still said nothing about a boyfriend. Ok fine shes obviously single. We got talking about bank accounts and other fun and exciting things (sarcasm...), then guess what...out of the clear blue sky, after MANY talks, she mentioned him!

I never spoke to her again. I was pissed.

These things will come and go. Each time you think you have found the perfect person, then find out they are married, dating, or just flat out not interested. Well this doesn't happen in every case, but it happens too often.

Like I told Milani once, get your mind on other things. I was single for many years and always dwelled on relationships. Believe me, they are not everything. I've been in one for over a year, and I miss my single days very much. Not that I'm miserable, but you give up a LOT in a relationship.

Some people are just bad matches. Between being single or being the the wrong person, which would you rather have? I would rather be single.

Don't spend all your time thinking about relationships. Give yourself projects, more work to do, something fun. Go to the mall, read a book, rent some movies, pick up an old project.

It always happens when your not looking. In fact, the last 3 relationships I've had always happened when I wasn't looking.

Anyway, find something else to do. Don't worry about guys. Pick up some activities, some sports, walk through the mall, at night watch tv, read some books, occupy your time. Overload yourself with projects! That's what I did. Half the reason I started my 80's site was to quit thinking about being single. I gave myself what I THOUGHT was a 6 month project. That was 1 1/2 years ago. I'm not single anymore, and I'm STILL not done!

Trust me, these things work. It might take some practice, but you can get your mind off relationships and find other things. Sometimes it is just nice to go do things by yourself. When I go get computer parts or go to the electronics store, I usually don't bring my g/f. I like to go by myself. Nobody complaining, whining, asking when we are leaving. It's great!

Don't sweat the small things. It might seem like the end of the world now that you found this out, but its really not.

But as I've said, you are not alone. This same type of scenario happens to people in their 30s, 40s, and so forth. It's not like your the only single person out there. There are millions of singles, but many of them just don't talk about it.

Just don't get desperate and take anybody because you want a relationship so bad! Big mistake! My best friend did that once years ago. He was desperate and took anything he could get. Then he was flat out miserable the whole time. Its not worth it.

That's my take...

Don't worry... you'll find the correct man -or the correct man will find you-. If you want a short piece of advice, just don't worry about it; avoid thinking in something like "I'm alone, I need someone, I've to found the man of my life". That uses to scary men!. Just be sure of your "positive threads" and don't feel under pressure. Try to show your best face... and you'll see how your man appears in the most unexpected moment.

Originally posted by Guancho
Don't worry... you'll find the correct man -or the correct man will find you-. If you want a short piece of advice, just don't worry about it; avoid thinking in something like "I'm alone, I need someone, I've to found the man of my life". That uses to scary men!. Just be sure of your "positive threads" and don't feel under pressure. Try to show your best face... and you'll see how your man appears in the most unexpected moment.


Good advice, Guancho and Aaron! :thumb: I would also add that the perfect person tends to find you when you least expect it and not when you're looking for it! It hurts now, but you'll see in the long run, he wasn't the person for you and that you deserve much better. Cheer up, you've got friends here! :)

Wow, you guys gave her good advice. Surprising :lol: