Ok..I've been dealing with this for a few days........it's driving me nuts!


There's two girls that want me........both like me ALOT. One is so much like me, almost my twin, she's the sweetest person you'll ever meet, and extremely loving and caring and beautiful but, she isn't very stable and she has alota emotional problems becasue of childhood events she went through. I can deal with most of her problems though. but it's getting rough but, I do love her to death! and she's half black.

the other one is smart,interesting, a little freaky (like myself), we agree on most things and shes white and beautiful. but I don't think she can love me as much as girl #1. Girl #1 has a bigger heart and is easier to get along with. But girl #2 is much more "my speed".


I love girl #1 much more but, I'm afraid all her emotional problems could ruin it all for both of us.

They're both my type......girl #2 more so though. but I love girl #1 more! what to do?

Also girl #1 was raped and could have aids...small chance but, she might. Should I wait it out with her and see when she gets tested? it takes years for some STD's to show up. she's worth the wait but, I don't wanna wait all the time and have it all ruined because of her emotional problems.


Girl #2 seems the easier choice but, I could easily wait it out for girl #1.........she's worth it. But girl #2 might be just right for me.


What should I do????? :confused:

Look for Girl # 3 maybe (kidding).

Wait Ted. :)

Originally posted by Bogie:
<STRONG>Look for Girl # 3 maybe (kidding).

Wait Ted. :)</STRONG>


hehe there is a #3 but I can't stand her. LOL

Ted, those are some big choices to make! I would really think hard about the both of them. Maybe give #2 a chance?

I'm speaking vicariously from my husband's past experience with a couple girls he dated seriously: Beware of the emotional problems!

It's hard even 'tho you may love her and feel like you want to help her through it, sometimes the problems are too much to handle, especially while you're still so young Ted. I'm not saying forget about #1 and don't be there for her, I'm just suggesting that you try to keep the love you feel for her to a supportive friendship type love, for now at least. Try to be as helpful to her as you can while she works through some of these problems--Does she realize she has emotional problems? If she doesn't that's another big stumbling block.

I'd vote for you to maybe try to date #2 right now, but keep your options open so that if #1 straightens up a little bit you can date her later. Don't get too serious too fast. You've got a lot of time ahead of you. ;)

Ted my sweet.
DID you read your post?
Read it.
You said you loved girl #1 twice. Shouldn't you be with girl #1?
It makes more sense, if you love her then the other things will fit into place.
She was raped she has emotional problems.. work through them with her. If you loved her you would do it. Girl #2 will not compare to #1 because you don't lover her as much.
Ted, let her get tested for herself and for you. Listen to her.. maybe you two are put together because you can help her deal with her problems. If you loved her you would help her.

My two cents..

Originally posted by Milani:
<STRONG>Ted my sweet.
DID you read your post?
Read it.
You said you loved girl #1 twice. Shouldn't you be with girl #1?
It makes more sense, if you love her then the other things will fit into place.
She was raped she has emotional problems.. work through them with her. If you loved her you would do it. Girl #2 will not compare to #1 because you don't lover her as much.
Ted, let her get tested for herself and for you. Listen to her.. maybe you two are put together because you can help her deal with her problems. If you loved her you would help her.

My two cents..</STRONG>


She does know she has emotional problems......she's been trying very hard to get through them and of course I'll always help her. She's made a huge improvemnt! :)

That's true Milani, if I did love her I'd help her through. :)#2 is more of the temptress. #1 is the all weather girl, she's fun no matter what, #2 is more of a fad girl, she's fun for a bit.

And that's true........I LOVE HER TO DEATH! :)

Then #1 is the one for you sweetie!!

Originally posted by Milani:
<STRONG>Then #1 is the one for you sweetie!!</STRONG>


I knew it all along. :) I just needed to hear it from someone I respect. :)

your 15, easy choice , which one puts out!! :D

Originally posted by caligula:
<STRONG>your 15, easy choice , which one puts out!! :D</STRONG>

I'm not like that. neither do.........but, #1 is kinky like me. :D very kinky. :)

Sounds to me like you made the choice yourself Ted. :) Go with #1. She sounds like a great person. Just be there to help her with her problems. Especially the rape. Will take her years to completely get past that if ever. Unfortunately I'm speaking from experience. I had someone try to rape me about 10 years ago. I got lucky and somehow got out of the situation. The fear is still there though. Just be supportive of her and be there when she needs a shoulder to cry on. Hope everything works out for you Ted.

Originally posted by Jazzy:
<STRONG>Sounds to me like you made the choice yourself Ted. :) Go with #1. She sounds like a great person. Just be there to help her with her problems. Especially the rape. Will take her years to completely get past that if ever. Unfortunately I'm speaking from experience. I had someone try to rape me about 10 years ago. I got lucky and somehow got out of the situation. The fear is still there though. Just be supportive of her and be there when she needs a shoulder to cry on. Hope everything works out for you Ted.</STRONG>

Yeah I did make the choice myself it seems. :) I don't think she could ever get over it.........she was raped more than once........by more than one person over the coarse of her life. poor thing.

She's a very strong person though, she reminds me alot of Milani. :) I guess that's why I like Milani so much. lol :D

Once again.. my opinion is totally different.

At age 15... I think you should be friends with this #1 but keep your feelings guarded..
If she is having problems, you want to help, I understand... but you're too young to have to deal with her problems... #2 will be more fun and.. you already stated that she was more like you already..

You are supposed to be having fun right now!! You have many more years of heartbreak and problems.. why start off that way?

PLUS! I personally...would NOT want to date someone who could potentially have AIDS.. there's more worry right there. What if you decide to start dating her... get really attatched.. then find out she has AIDS? I say.. end the heartbreak before it happens.. be her friend... and wait a while before getting too involved.

#2 sounds like she has no baggage attatched to her right now... and, like I said before, at your age.. you don't need baggage.

Just my two cents! ;)

You have a good point Tina. But, neither of them are perfect, no one is........and #1 has so much in common with me it's not even funny. Also #2 is bi-polar. At least #1 is easy to deal with. and I know I'm still young but, age is just a stigma. :) I know alota people that found their mate very early on.

Originally posted by tinajo the magnificient :
PLUS! I personally...would NOT want to date someone who could potentially have AIDS.. there's more worry right there. What if you decide to start dating her... get really attatched.. then find out she has AIDS? I say.. end the heartbreak before it happens.. be her friend... and wait a while before getting too involved.

#2 sounds like she has no baggage attatched to her right now... and, like I said before, at your age.. you don't need baggage.



What can I say , I get to stalk tinajo ( which I'm so glad to do ! :D ) and show support to my good pal Ted ! the perfect post maybe ? ( well the topic is too serious to enjoy it ! :( ) Well Tinajo summed up my greatest fear, : AIDS ! Yeah, If ya got attached , well that's a problem ! O f course the guy pig in me would say if ya date with girl #1, then things go sour, consider girl #2 as a safety net ! That's probably the best logical option. But if y have morality, ya'll feel like a dirty bastard ! I just wish ya to go with girl #2 and spend yer youth the way ya should !

TGND " I'm always reluctant to write about this kind of topic. Well Ted, hope ya'll never regret yer choice whatever it is ! like buddy "

Uh oh... Ted.. true.. alot of people find their mates early on.. but don't be one of those kids that get stuck and say, "I wish I would have done it differently".. you are going to make mistakes and learn from them, hopefully.. but rushing in to finding your long-term mate is a bad idea. I got married, (first time) to my high school sweetheart of 4 years.. I was 18.. I thought the same thing.. that some people find their mates early on! Boy was I wrong.. I kept feeling like there were so many things that I had never done.. and that my husband didn't have alot of the qualities that I had yet to experience from relationships..

Got married again at 21.. another mistake.. I was still too young (in my opinion) to realize what kind of man I wanted to live with forever...(another divorce resulted in that)

Then.. I met my husband, Joe.. I dated other men... just to be sure for the first year of our relationship.. started dating him exclusively for 6 years.. (lived with him for the last 4 of those years).. then.. finally, after 7 years together.. agreed that I was ready to be with my "mate".

I know that this isn't a thread on "marriage"... but finding your "mate", as you put it.. should be something that takes years and years to do.. especially when you are 15! Like I said before... HAVE FUN! You only have your childhood once! Don't regret having to deal with someone else's problems later on.

Exactly Tina. :) I think marriage should be left off till late 20's. IMO and I'm having fun with both right now. (not in that way perv lol) and I won't make any mistakes I'll regret later on. I've seen it happen with alota people.

I say go with #2 . IMO, maybe you love #1 more but because you feel sorry for her? Unfortunally, #1 has had some horriable experiences that you will have to deal with. Are you willing to do this and not start to resent her? Her problems will become yours. Sure you love her but are you willing to give up some of the best years of your life for her? You can have deep love for a friend. ;)

Seriously though, Maybe you should check out other options. I mean that with all due respect. If either was truly right for you, you would not need to ask! :)

You seem like a nice guy(shut up)
WAIT for the right one! ;) Don't get serious too soon. :) You never meet either in person? Let me tell you this...you don't REALLY know either. You may feel like you do, It's easy to get attached emotionally online. The REAL person is always different. When you meet, it will be like meeting a stranger. Trust me...I lost a good friend by making this mistake.

In the mean time send me that Zeppelin poster! :D -LOL

Well I do talk on the phone with her every night. :) And I've known her for 4 months, we talk everyday for hours. I know her very well. And her problems aren't so bad, I can handle them. I don't know #2 as well as #1, maybe I should get to know #2 more. You really have to understand how special our relationship is before you say antyhing though, she makes me happy, that's all that counts. :)

hehe yes a deep love can exist between friends. :)

LMAO forget about the poster! till your married! I'll send ˜Ç,~s a wedding gift I promise. :)

Also my mother says about the same thing you guys say. (I know shes right) but, she also says that #1's very special and she sees how we work our problems out so quickly. :) She loves her too. lol


I can always have a good time with #1, she always makes me laugh. and I think thats very importent. :) And I've noticed certain things about good, long lasting relationships other people have and ours is 100X better, we're so close it's amazing. :)

And she's forgiving when I make a mistake and she's not controlling at all. She's been improving on her emotional problems alot, I can hardly tell if they're there anymore.

Well all I know is that I know when someone is a good hearted person and she is by far! And she deserves to be happy for once in her life and I want to make her happy! She's honest too another rare quality. :)

Also she can always see a shrink for her emotional problems. :) She's pretty much cleared most of them though. I know alota people much more screwed up. lol &lt;points to TC. :p

Shebrings out the best in me I think. Even though I am a little angel. :D


And I'm only questioning which one is right is because she's so amazing but, I'm so young and I want to see if she really is so special or just an illusion,ya know? Well either way I love her, she's the best person I ever met! :) I see a little bit of everything in her. She is my everything. :)

Originally posted by Ted Nugent:
I know alota people much more screwed up. lol &lt;points to TC. :p

:p :p
If she means so much, see where things go. :) Who knows, right? ;) Her being honest is a GREAT quality!!

This is your biological mom here...IF you two get serious, PLEASE use protection! The last thing you, and we all need, is a little Ted walking around! :eek: Ted, your too young to be tied down with a little one. ;)

Whatever you do good luck, buttmunch! :p

Originally posted by TopCat:
<STRONG>I say go with #2 . IMO, maybe you love #1 more but because you feel sorry for her?
</STRONG>

I was thinking the same thing Topcat!

Ted.. it sounds like you are already attatched to #1... be careful! Keep your feelings somewhat guarded.. I just don't want to see you hurt later on :(

Good luck! ;)

I will tell you what I would tell me son. (Michael is 14)
Do not get to serious right now.. you are young and full of cum. Don't get tied down now. Have fun and don't worry about which one you should be with. Please.. i got involved with Michael's daddy when i was 15 your age. I thought I would just die with out him,, i thought it was love.

Originally posted by Milani:
<STRONG>I thought I would just die with out him,, </STRONG>


I'm not that type. I don't get too attached to people where I'm heart broken if they're gone.

I feel really bad for girl #1 :(

I agree with most of the comments on the age factor, 15 is way to young to be serious.

Unless your ready to dedicate yourself to girl #1 fully, it might be a good idea to just be a supportive friend to her, after all she's had more pain in her life then she deserves at such a young age.

I really and truly love #1. I'm just confused at what I should do. I know I'm young and inexperinced but, I do know I love her and that I prolly always will. I'm just wondering if I should go with as many people as possible before I pick just one, ya know? but I really only love #1. I do only want to be with her I just don't wanna have that "what if" thing everyone seems to experience. oh well, I'm sure I'll be fine, long as she's clean I can be happy with her. She's only person that I can be with all day without getting bored. And we've had some BAD fights and we still love eachother we can get through anything.......she's been through so much and still hasn't lost her faith. love is all ya need right?

And yes I'm ready to commit 100% to her. :) I would only leave if she had aids or changed for the worse, or lied or cheated on me. Which wouldn't happen she's crazy about me and wouldn't ruin our relationship. She's very "clingy" she needs me alot........but, understands if I can't be home for a day, she's very understanding like that.

She's one of the only ones that can get my jokes. LOL Man, I love her! :) I met her the same time I joined the Xchange, so this place has always had a special meaning to me. :)

Since I´ve noticed that most of the replies came from the women here, you may want to hear an opinion from another 'experienced' ( ;) )male:

First, I´m truly amazed that you are showing such concern, given your age. When I´m thinking of myself back when I was 15...I will tell you in three years. ;)

You seem to have a lot in common with that girl 'number one', and it´s obvious that you are attracted to her from the given descriptions. I can also understand when you are saying that you 'love her to death' - I had the same emotions everytime when I had fallen for a girl during my teenage days, and it´s okay.
But, you are right about considering the serious points of a possible relationship with her. It seems that you have a good friendship with her already...who knows what might happen if this turns into a relationship. At this point, there is no general advice possible...maybe she will really be the one and only for you, and why not? It´s also possible that you will hate each other once once it´s over - you could throw a coin as well to predict the future.

You have mentioned that she is unstable due to her childhood experiences. Now, this is something which really needs to be considered.
She may also seek some stability in a relationship, and that´s the point where the ice is become quite thin to tread on. What if you can´t fulfill her expectations? What will happen when, say in a few years, you meet another girl you feel attracted to? Can you break the relationship then, even if it means that she will drown then, or do you feel bound to her for reasons of pity, making yourself feeling bitter for all the possible chances you´ve left out?

The second serious point is her possible infection. Unless you can´t be 100% sure, it will always shadow your relationship like a black thundercloud over your heads. If it turns out that she is infected, you can never enjoy being closer together - it even doesn´t have to be 'full contact', since some HIV-subtypes seems to be passed on with the saliva (this is currently under research, but why take chances?). Using condoms and chemical contraceptives are no real help...it will always remind you both that there is something lurking which will threaten your life. All in all, I hope for her that she´s not infected...after all she went through, it really would be another bad point in her life.

About her colour...well, 'redneckism' is not only an American phenomenon, you would earn some strange and disapproving looks here, too. But this should be the last of your concerns...for this point, I can only say that assholes are lurking everywhere, and if that´s a problem for them, they should move and leave you alone.

So you see...it´s all up to you. That´s the disadvantage of love - there´s no instruction manual attached. Go for her if you are really sure about your feelings, but don´t shut your rational thinking completely out (I know it´s hard once you´re seeing pink fluffy clouds and hearts everywhere ;)).

Closing this with Girl#3...keep your dirty fingers off my Kitty. You look stupid in Bavarian Lederhosen. :D

Thanks for the advise Wave. :) It really is a shame it didn't come with a manuel. oh well I'm sure I'll do fine, I'm not stupid.

It's a very slim chance she's infected.........but, if she is I have to leave..... :( but, oh well I can always find someone else but, never as amazing as her but, I'll be happy with whom ever I find I'm sure.

I know that it seems like it's a phase but, it's not.......a phase would never last this long, I don't lust after her, it's more of a deep love a, sort of complete love, ya know? an ALWAYS love. It's been 4 months, I'm too attached to not want her anymore, but if she ever cuased me misery I'm not afraid to leave and I do not feel obligated to stay with her at all. I truly want to be with her and if I ever felt like leaving I would. I would never live a lie. Also I don't have much compassion for people I don't love.....so if ever she lied to me and I left, I wouldn't care if she jumped off a bridge. Once you hurt me in anyway I never forget it. I have no compassion towards them.

She's obsessed with me, she would never hurt me, I know that for a fact. and I'm putting so much thought into this because I truly want it to work out,I really love her! :)

Originally posted by wavemeister:

Closing this with Girl#3...keep your dirty fingers off my Kitty. You look stupid in Bavarian Lederhosen. :D[/QB]
LOL!! http://www.theunholytrinity.org/cracks_smileys/ups/dvx_rune/smooch.gif
oh well I'm sure I'll do fine, I'm not stupid.
I beg to differ! :p hehe

LOL there is now a #4. I've known her for a while, she admitted she has a crush on me today. :D I'm sticking with #1. #4 has threatened to hurt #1 if she doesn't give me up. LOL! Lucky #1 lives far away. LMAO

Ted.. you move fast buddy!! #4? See.. I knew that you knew how to have fun! ;)

this may get boring or tiresome, but when I meant stalking, I meant the whole enchilada ! STALKING with a big " S "

TGND " And ted's issue is working out ! It's bonus ! "

Originally posted by Tinajo:
<STRONG>Ted.. you move fast buddy!! #4? See.. I knew that you knew how to have fun! ;)</STRONG>


hehe, but I still want #1. #4 is cool though. :) as a friend.

Okay, I guess I just have to insert my 2 cents.

Ted, you need to be with the girl who makes you happy!!!!!!! There is no other choice to make. If you like these other girls, great. They are people for you to spend time with. You need to be with the one you love!

*jen elegantly steps off of her soapbox*

Originally posted by jen*:
<STRONG>
Ted, you need to be with the girl who makes you happy!!!!!!! There is no other choice to make. If you like these other girls, great. They are people for you to spend time with. You need to be with the one you love!

</STRONG>

Nice, short, sweet and all true. :)

I've realized alot these past couple weeks......and being able to talk to her about these problems are a HUGE help. Thank you everyone for taking the time out of your busy days to give a kid some decent advise. :)