Ok..maybe Hate is a strong word. But, those little buggers drive me nuts. They come over and trash my kids' rooms, drag toys out and leave them. They run through the house and jump on furniture. All the things that my kids know better than to do. It's gotten to the point where I don't want them coming over to my house. The Mom is really nice, and I enjoy being with her....but her kids http://www.80sxchange.com/ubb/smilies//eek.gif She's a single mom that works full time, and she just doesn't seem to have control over her kids. Oh, another thing...she lets them ride their bikes with no helmets...and it's the LAW! I always make my kids wear their's and then they see these 2 without theirs. I ask my friend's kids where their helmets are, and they say that they left them at home, or it's not comfortable. http://www.80sxchange.com/ubb/smilies//hammer.gif Anyways....I guess my question is....should I be letting my kids hang out with these other 2, or try to keep them away...(my kids aren't perfect, but they start to act up after being around them).???

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~Dawn

First of all, I don't have kids, so maybe I'm not the one to give advice...http://www.80sxchange.com/ubb/smilies//rolleyes.gif
But, anyway... I totally understand that You "hate" those kids! I don't understand parents who just let their kids do whatever they want! Kids who wont behave at partys or in public places makes me mad!http://www.80sxchange.com/ubb/smilies//00angry.gif What are the parents thinking?http://www.80sxchange.com/ubb/smilies//confused.gif
A while ago me and my friend was at a McDonalds, where they have this room filled with balls for the kids to play in. Suddenly a couple of kids start throwing balls out in the restaurant, and at ppl eating!
My friend got hit by one and went mad...When he told the kids to stop, they just laughed at him... and their parents (sitting in the other end of the restaurant) did...NOTHING!!
Finally one of the employees saw it and told the kids to stop throwing balls and pick up the ones that were out on the floor. Did that help? NOT!
After that we left and didn't get to see the end of the story...
Sad thing is, (most)kids today have no respect what so ever for older ppl and that's sad!
I don't know if parents are to blame or what, but I know one thing...It drives me mad!
If those kids are bad influence, don't let them play with Yours! They soon start acting the same way!http://www.80sxchange.com/ubb/smilies//E10.gif

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H@ns (OK, so I AM the bad guy from Die Hard!)

I can understand when you say *Hate* I've been through that stage, when I got married my husband had 6 brothers & sisters under the age of 13... These kids were DEVILS!!! But it's not the kids fault, it's the parents. Most working parents ignore the needs of the children and it really does damage them, by the time they realize what has happened because of it, it's to late... I've been through it with my son & I think he hates me for it, I see him maybe twice a year now. Try talking to the mother if that doesn't fix the problem then my advice is to get your kids away from hers and explain to them why they can't hang around with them anymore, because your kids will start acting like hers, it's a learned habit.

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Old Chinese Proverb
War doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left.

I agree with Blaziegirl, I was going to suggest the same thing she did in her post, but she beat me to it.
I'm having a hard time bringing up posts the last two days for some reason.http://www.80sxchange.com/ubb/smilies//frown.gif

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Sarg

Pat Benatar STILL Rocks My World!!
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The other week a long time friend of mine came over with his girlfriend and her kids, and my god her kids are brats, they tore up my kids's rooms and were making them scream too. We finally let them go outside and play, Then we hear bloody murder out there, my wife looks outside and sees our son (going on 3 this month) hitting my friends girlfriends oldest kid (6 years) with a big stick. My wife ran out side and disciplined our son promptly. Then the next day, the neighbor lady called my wife over and told her she saw the whole incident with the kids (and my wife was thinking oh boy she probably thinks it was wrong to spank my kid) And told my wife that she shouldn't have spanked him, the other bigger boy was putting our son in a head lock and then driving his face into the ground, that is why our son picked up the stick! Way to go Drake! (did I say that out loud?) He was only defending himself and my wife punished him (bad mamma as I like to call her http://www.80sxchange.com/ubb/smilies//biggrin.gif ). *off track a little, must head back* My point is I'll raise my voice to all the kids at the same time (mine and their's) when they are acting up just so there is a group understanding that I don't like what is transpiring and my kids know better, and I really don't care what the reaction is of the kid's mother, it's her fault they act that way. Besides my kids will not be victimized nor coursed by others unruly kids. You do what you feel you should do, Dawn, don't be passive. http://www.80sxchange.com/ubb/smilies//wink.gif

Brent

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I am always doing that which I can not do, in order that I may learn how to do it.
~Pablo Picasso

<FONT COLOR="#6699cc" SIZE="1" FACE="Verdana, Arial">This message has been edited by Urethane on 05-06-2001 at 05:35 PM</font>

I feel your pain. Parents send their kids to my place like it's the local park. My hubby or I have to keep an eye on these kids, and I've never even met some of the parents. I figure if they're in my yard, they'll follow my rules or go home and their parents can find some place else to send them, because they certainly don't want kids. They want the IDEA of a family. The reality is too much, so they shift responsibility to anyone, worthy or not. I also have a friend or two that I would love to take aside and say "raise your own kid right and I won't have to punish mine for acting like yours." I understand that it's hard for single parents. The ones that tick me off are the two parent families that need that extra Lexus and are willing to sacrafice their kids for it. Not to mention what those poor kids go through, feeling like they are not first in their parents' lives, like they aren't important to anyone.
You have to do what is right for your family. Maybe the good behavior of your kids will rub off on her kids.
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Yeah. And then you woke up!

<FONT COLOR="#6699cc" SIZE="1" FACE="Verdana, Arial">This message has been edited by puleeze on 05-06-2001 at 11:31 PM</font>

Thanks for all of your advice. Just today,they wanted to play with my kids. I supervised outside! Of course the little one (she's 5) kept heading inside. I finally told her....you listen to my rules or go home. She left in tears. The grandpa came out and asked if there was a problem. I swallowed my fear *he's a big man* And said...Yes, there is...I have a problem with your grandkids not listening when they are at my house. And, until they can start behaving better, they will not be allowed to come over and play with my kids." He kinda mumbled and walked back in his house. You know what? I feel much better now. I set my rules, not only to the kids, but to a grown-up "authority" figure. Maybe things will change...Haven't seen the mom to talk to her yet.

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~Dawn

Good luck with things Dawn. Understand how you feel. I don't have kids myself, but I have ideas on how they should behave. Unfortunately this has caused problems between me and my brother. He has three kids that are never really disciplined. He gets mad when I won't put up with it in my house. I never go to his house because I can't stand to be around kids that run through the house screaming. I'm staying with my mom right now (she's helping me out after a bad situation) and he won't bring the kids if I'm there. He knows I'll make them follow my rules. My mom does too, but she's grandma and not as strict about it as I am. I hate that I don't see my nephews and niece, but not really any way around it right now. Doesn't help that me and my sister-in-law hate each other either.

Just keep standing up for what you believe is right for your kids.

Jazzmyn http://www.80sxchange.com/ubb/smilies//witchbroom.gif http://www.80sxchange.com/ubb/smilies//vampire.gif

Funny thing is.....I think that it bothered me more than the kids..(not getting to play with the neighbor kids). I have a problem with being to Passive and not wanting to cause waves. I'm going to have to grow a backbone if I want to be a good influence on my kids! *grow backbone, grow* http://www.80sxchange.com/ubb/smilies//laugh.gif

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~Dawn

Good job, Dawn, you can now confidently brush off all those little foot prints from your back, because I don't think the little buggers will be walking all over you anymore! http://www.80sxchange.com/ubb/smilies//00grin.gif

Brent

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I am always doing that which I can not do, in order that I may learn how to do it.
~Pablo Picasso

I'm gonna wash those brats right outta my hair.....I'm gonna wash those brats right outta my hair!

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~Dawn

Good job Dawn! And I know I'm late...
I have a little brother who's a brat. Nobody wants to watch him since he's so bad. He's got no respect for adults. Our own grandmother doesn't like him!! My dad is strict and his wife isn't. That's a huge problem. What's funny though is that he's pretty good for me. And I have no problem telling kids that are not mine (whether I know them or not)what to do. You know, don't hit, don't throw that, pick that up, watch out...I have a neighbor behind me that's about 6 or so, I've heard him cussing at his brother. That apalled me!!! But I've also heard his parents using every name in the book!! I don't let my son play with him since he uses bad words as I told him. You have to do what's best for you kids. You might as well help mold them when they are young so that when they are older, they know what you should and should not do. It'll help when they have kids. http://www.80sxchange.com/ubb/smilies//smile.gif

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I know what boys like, I know what guys want, I know what boys like, boys like, boys like me...

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You know what? I feel much better now.
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Bravo for you Myst, ya did the right thing... Those kids will start to respect you now http://www.80sxchange.com/ubb/smilies//smile.gif

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Old Chinese Proverb
War doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left.

There are these kids that live up the road from me, a set of twins and thier older borhter. The older brother and ONE of the twins are fine. The other one is ADHD. Now, normally I dont think a kid should be on medicine for ADHD because most of the time (IMO) it is bad parenting that makes a kid goof up, but jesum crow this kid needs RITILIN and needs it BAD. The mom, who has a degree in SOCIAL WORK, wont give him him meds when it is not a school day, so on weekends and during the summer, the kid is absolutely terrible. I dont mean terrible, like he doesnt listen or he runs around like a monkey, i mean he throws rocks at cars, goes through the neighbors cars and throws stuff out of them, tears up toys, hits kids, etc. Every time he comes down, I have to sit at my door and watch and tell him "put that down, get away from tehre, stay outof that yard" etc. Now, I live on a cul de sac, on a hill, and there is only 1 road that leads up to my house, so all the kdis come up there and play in the circle, since no traffic rolls through, and I have no problem with any of the other kids, but this little prick, I would strangle him if he were mine. He hit my son, who is 1 1/2 year younger, so I told my son to go punch him in the nose. He walks out, walks up, and BAM! socks the kid right in the nose. The kid runs home crying. The dad calls wanting to know what happened, so I told him that his kid had been hitting and pushing mine, mine came in crying and I told him to punch him in the nose. The dad starts yelling at me for allowing my son to hit his. I then pointed out that I could have had my 10 year old daughter hit him, and not the 4 year old son, and she would have hit him more than once. He complained and bithced some more, so I told him to keep his kids, ALL THREE of them down on his end of the street, and my son would not be able to hit him. That was last summer, Havent seen him but 4 times since, and the kid is the most polite in the world now.



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I would still like to be known as "That meloncholy guy driving the red Lamborghini"

Email me if you want: realdealmbp@yahoo.com

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Jasper:
He hit my son, who is 1 1/2 year younger, so I told my son to go punch him in the nose. He walks out, walks up, and BAM! socks the kid right in the nose. The kid runs home crying. The dad calls wanting to know what happened, so I told him that his kid had been hitting and pushing mine, mine came in crying and I told him to punch him in the nose. The dad starts yelling at me for allowing my son to hit his. I then pointed out that I could have had my 10 year old daughter hit him, and not the 4 year old son...
</font>

I'm not normally a big fan of fighting, but sometimes all a bad kid needs is a little reality check. Some kids think they can bully around kids and once they get into just one fight, they quit. So I'm okay with your 4 year old (I've got a 4 year old son too!) giving him a punch. I know that my son has been hit or bit or shoved around in school (by a couple diffent kids)and daycare (by just one kid) and he usually either crys or tells. I know that since he was younger at the time, I don't want to encourage fighting yet. But I also know that I don't want a momma's boy down the road. I want my son to be able to defend himself (like your son did) but still, not be a bully (like your neighbor).



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I know what boys like, I know what guys want, I know what boys like, boys like, boys like me...

Yeah Dawn, you show'em who's boss!

You do what you think is right for your kids, and don't let the other parents sway you in any way.

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Sarg

Pat Benatar STILL Rocks My World!!
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Originally posted by Sarg
:
<STRONG>Yeah Dawn, you show'em who's boss!

You do what you think is right for your kids, and don't let the other parents sway you in any way.

</STRONG>

Thanks....I feel better knowing that I'm not being a

mean adult for hating little kids. It takes a lot to get ol' Myst mad....and after 4 years.....I lost it! <img src="mad.gif" border="0">

I'm like Urethane, I have no problem keeping other kids in line. Nearly all my neighbors have kids and they know when the 'group' is at my house, all the kids are going to mind and none of them are going home hurt or in trouble. My son's teacher loves it when I visit, she has a particularly roudy class. I mean, some of these six year olds tell the teacher to shutup! I've literally snatched up several of them and got in there face, with the meanest look I could muster, and told them how it is (that's something a teacher could lose their job over).
I have 3 children, the youngest being a baby. My older two are polar opposites as far as behavior patterns go. My daughter has never been a discipline problem, I can give her a mad look and make her cry (and she's 10). My son, who is 6, is both hyper and has ADDS. He takes no medication for it nor will he ever. He can be a brat but he minds quite well and knows when I've had enough. I'm pretty hard on him but he will be a success in spite of what he has! He keeps his room clean as well as the porch (that's his chore), he does his homework, and helps with his baby sister. No, he is not an angel (neither is his sister). How a child behaves is reactive to his environment (primarily his home environment). Some of the kids in my sons classroom have nothing wrong with them but they act like animals. One of them came to my work one time with his mother and he climbed on top of a stack of flourescent light bulbs. Without thinking, I yanked him off. I could tell his mother was about to get mad, so I told her that some of the boxes on the bottom were empty and wouldn't support his weight. She still stormed off, neglective of her child's disobedience! I was pissed! That same child spends his entire day (til school lets out) at a desk right outside the principals office. The mother knows this but has never came to talk to anybody about it.
I do not allow my kids to play with kids who don't show respect for others. Even if that means they don't go outside. I think their knowledge of this makes them a little more selective of their friends (at least I hope it does). I mean, they know if they bring home a friend who hits or says bad things, I won't let them play with that kid. And I have no problem telling that kid's parent(s) that either. They discipline their child, then their child can play with mine. Simple.

I completely understand. I have two kids myself. My oldest is 14 and thinks she knows everything and my youngest is autistic. I am also a working mother but I darn sure make time for my kids and if they are out of line then they will be punished!! The problem with parents today is that they are scared to punish their kids. The school tell the kids they have "rights" and then the government and lawmakers pass laws that prohibit parents from yelling, spanking and in some counties, even the taking away of priviledges is now considered a form of abuse!! It's no wonder kids are out of control. I for one think that parents need to stand up to their kids, take the control back as I have done and let those little brats know who is queen. I tell my kids that my home is not a democracy, it is a socialist republic and I am the supreme dictator--what I say goes!!
Working full time does not excuse a parent from their duties to the family and home. It sounds to me like your friend needs to restructure her life to include her children and be a parent to them and not a friend; friendship happens after they are 18, before then, they need guidance, love and need to learn to respect others and the property and home of others.
Thanks for letting me give my two cents :)
L

Have you all read "1984" by George Orwell? He had it right on the nose about what he saw was the future for our kids--the parents are afraid to discipline them for fear of legal reprisal--especially of the kids turning them in to the authorities for disciplining them.

Kids are being raised with unstable parents, in dangerous environments, not being taught respect or compassion. I felt a lump in my stomach when my sisters anatomy and physiology teacher said that she is scared about the nurses and dental hygienists that are being turned out now because of the lack of compassion, decency and respect that so many young people have today.

That's why I am such an "interfering Auntie" ;) Although I know that my nieces and nephews are being raised by good parents, I know that it really does take a village to raise a child.

Originally posted by BrandyBlue
Have you all read "1984" by George Orwell? He had it right on the nose about what he saw was the future for our kids--the parents are afraid to discipline them for fear of legal reprisal--especially of the kids turning them in to the authorities for disciplining them.


I've read it, but should read it again. Everybody should. This book is stuffed with reality checks!


Kids are being raised with unstable parents, in dangerous environments, not being taught respect or compassion. I felt a lump in my stomach when my sisters anatomy and physiology teacher said that she is scared about the nurses and dental hygienists that are being turned out now because of the lack of compassion, decency and respect that so many young people have today.

That's why I am such an "interfering Auntie" ;) Although I know that my nieces and nephews are being raised by good parents, I know that it really does take a village to raise a child.

I have no kids, but when I look at the kids from my friends, it's amazing how different they all are raised. I guess it's not an easy task :confused: Keeping my dogs at bay is already a big job :)

I thought George Orwell described a Hitler Youth in 1984. These children were a sort of junior spy youth for The Party and Big Brother. They reported suspicious activities that their parents might be partaking since that is how everyone was indoctrinated and it was constituted as the "right thing" to do at the time. They were not disobedient or malicious by any extent of the word. In other words, these children were only following orders as any citizen would have.

A better example of future youth gone wild in literature would be Anthony Burgess's A Clockwork Orange or to a very marginal extent Aldous Huxley's A Brave New World.

As long as any kid is under your roof, they abide by your rules.

Originally posted by XXX
I thought George Orwell described a Hitler Youth in 1984. These children were a sort of junior spy youth for The Party and Big Brother. They reported suspicious activities that their parents might be partaking since that is how everyone was indoctrinated and it was constituted as the "right thing" to do at the time. They were not disobedient or malicious by any extent of the word. In other words, these children were only following orders as any citizen would have.

A better example of future youth gone wild in literature would be Anthony Burgess's A Clockwork Orange or to a very marginal extent Aldous Huxley's A Brave New World.

It was on the face of it that description, but think of the parents in that book--always afraid of their kids, afraid of being turned in to the authorities all the time. Although I do not condone beating children, I think there are some extreme times when a spanking is due (when the child is endangering him/herself), a quick slap on the butt. I know a parent who was turned in for spanking her child--and the child admitted it was the first time in his nine years that he had ever been spanked, and that was for sneaking out in the night and getting in trouble with the cops--and she ended up pleading down to a year's probation.

The literal translation is that of Hitler Youth, but the underlying theme is that of parents losing control of their children. That is what is so fundamentally wrong with kids today.