HOW MANY SEC STUDENTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?

At VANDERBILT: it takes two, one to change the bulb and one more to explain how they did it every bit as good as the bulbs changed at Harvard.

At GEORGIA: it takes two, one to change the bulb and one to phone an engineer at Georgia Tech for instructions.

At FLORIDA: it takes four, one to screw in the bulb and three to figure out how to get stoned off the old one.

At ALABAMA: it takes five, one to change it, three to reminisce about how The Bear would have done it, and one to throw the old bulb at an NCAA investigator.

At OLE MISS: it takes six, one to change it, two to mix the drinks and three to find the perfect J. Crew outfit to wear for the occasion.

At LSU: it takes seven, and each one gets credit for five semester hours.

At KENTUCKY: it takes eight, one to screw it in and seven to discuss how much brighter it seems to shine during basketball season.

At TENNESSEE: it takes ten, two to figure out how to screw it in, two to buy an orange lampshade, and six to phone a radio call-in show and talk about how much they hate Alabama.

At MISSISSIPPI STATE: it takes fifteen, one to screw in the bulb, two to buy the Skoal, and twelve to yell, "GO TO HELL, OLE MISS".

At AUBURN: it takes one hundred, one to change it, forty-nine to talk about how they did it better than at Bama, and fifty to get drunk and roll toomer's Corner when finished.

At SOUTH CAROLINA: it takes 80,000, one to screw it in and 79,999 to discuss how this finally will be the year that they have a decent football team.

At ARKANSAS: None. There is no electricity in Arkansas.

:laugh: :lol: :laugh: Those were GREAT!! :lol:
At GEORGIA: it takes two, one to change the bulb and one to phone an engineer at Georgia Tech for instructions.:irked: Hey now!! No self respectin' DAWG would EEEEEEEEEVER call ANYone at Tech... for NUTHIN'! :p :laugh:

And I know these guys are ACC... but I can't help but add them in:
FSU & MIAMI: Five... one to actually change the lightbulb after 4 others STOLE it. :lol:

Good post, Jasper! :thumb:

Here's more... not just SEC :lol:

(1) What does the average Univ. of Michigan player get on his SATs? .........Drool.

(2) What do you get when you put 32 West Virginia cheerleaders in one room? ..........A full set of teeth.

(3) How do you get a Nebraska cheerleader into your dorm room? .........Grease her hips and push.

(4) How do you get an Ohio State graduate off your porch? ..........Pay him for the pizza.

(5) How do you know if an Alabama football player has a girlfriend? .........There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup.

(6) Why is the Kentucky football team like a possum? .....Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

(7) What are the longest three years of a Miami (Fla) football player's life? ..........His freshman year.

(8) How many Oklahoma freshmen does it take to change a light bulb? ..........None. That's a sophomore course.

(9) Where was O. J. headed in the white Bronco?
......... Durham, North Carolina.  He knew that the police would never look at Duke for a Heisman Trophy winner.

AND FINALLY... 

(10) Why did Miami choose orange as a team color ? ......... You can wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday, and picking up trash along the highways the rest of the week.