View Full Version : From Darkness to Light and Hope


JeannieT
9-25-05, 01:47 AM
A Story and News I'd Like to Share

As I have recently been informed by Kevin, some members know some of this story, so I apologize if I repeat anything you have already heard. However, I feel I need to share this story with everyone I can. It is a true example that the saying "Good things come to those who wait."

The past years have really been tough for me, Kevin, and my whole family. It seemed my prayers were finally answered when I gave birth to our son, Danny. No one wanted a child more than I, no one was more thankful to have FINALLY been blessed with one. Danny was born 5/2/02, and the joyful event and all time "high" in my life was followed by an extremely downward slide.

My pregnancy and giving birth were very difficult. After giving birth I was plagued by infection, pain, and downright bad luck. My heath became worse and worse, and by the time everything was finally fixed and healed as best as it could be, I found myself in the hospital 6 times with 8 surgeries.

I could not work. I could not even be a proper mother, having to depend on Kevin and my mother to do sometimes the simpliest of tasks that I should have been able to do. Over time, I became sicker, depressed, and had a sense that nothing would ever get better. It seemed as if every bit of news was disappointing. As time passed it became increasingly easier to think nothing would ever go right, and the "darkness" began to set in. I became used to being in pain, disappointed, tired, feeling hopeless, and the thought that nothing would or could get better, regardless of how long I waited.

Six weeks ago, I tried to commit suicide. I took a lot of pills. I had the arsenal in the medicine cabinet to do it, and a slight knowledge of exactly what kind of drugs would kill me. On a Thursday night, after everyone went to bed, I started typing letters to Kevin, my mom, and Danny (for when he was older.) I didn't even realize I had a plan for suicide, but obviously I did, because I just knew everything I had to do. I even left instructions in the letter about my memorial service, what music to play, where to have it, etc. I carried out a plan as if I had drilled for it until I got it perfect. After typing the letters, I calmly went into the bathroom and organized each drug into piles. I smoked a cigarette,and even took a hit of some potent weed I had got from a friend recently. I brushed my teeth, then began to down the piles of pills. After swallowing 132 pills, I calmly went to bed and layed down next to Danny and Kevin to die at exactly 3 AM on a Friday morning.

The next thing I remember is waking up, opening my eyes and seeing Kevin, and feeling the breathing tube down my throat. A nurse came to me and asked if I knew where I was and what I had done, I shook my head yes. I was very groggy, and went back to sleep. Finally, I awakened enough for the nurse to pull out the breathing tube, wondering if I would be able to breathe on my own. No one was there except the nurse, and he asked me why I did what I did. My answer: I was sick of living in pain, being depressed, and dealing with life and disappointments in general. I was only somewhat happy to have survived what I had attempted, and shocked, but somewhat proud, that I had come so close to killing myself. The doctor came in and told me I had "flatlined" twice. The only thing I could really think about was the fact that this person was not me. I thought back through my life and had never known myself to be in such a dark place and sincerely hopeless. I just wanted out of the hospital, and was cleaver enough to convince the shrink to release me into my mother's care.

Once home, nothing was different. I wasn't trying to end my life, but I hated myself, my life, and everything about it. Emotional, moody, irritable, and exhauseted, I was a real bitch to live with. How Kevin, my mother, and Danny were able to live with me, tells you how much they all love me. I was required, as a condition of my release from the hospital, to see a Therapist and a Psychiatrist. The Therapist was great, the Psychiatrist played with my medication, trying to find the right combination that would make me "happy" and heal me. Approx. a month after my suicide attempt, I was forced to enter the hospital for severe depression, and being suicidal. As I was talking to my Therapist, I had said something that made a bell go off and make her realize how serious I was about dying. I had no plans to attempt to kill myself in the near future, but I knew in my mind it was always an option. Worse, if I ever did it again, I would know exactly what to take and how much. Thanks to a quack doc who told me I took the right drug to end my life, just not quite enough. In my mind though, I didn't need help or belong in a hospital. My admitting myself to the hospital (I knew I would be committed if I didn't do so volunterally) was done with much protest. Little did I know that the next three days would help me to heal my mind by myself with a little help from Kevin. The Psychiatrist in the hospital questioned one of the medications I had been on for the past 14 mths. I told Kevin this and he researched the drug. Kevin's research found that the reason for the questions, was that the drug I had been taking could cause suicidal thoughts and psychotic behavior.

The shrinks didn't take me off that drug, called TOPAMAX, I decided to stop taking it. I contacted the doctor who had originally prescribed it, and she told me, "I am glad you had the sense to stop taking Topamax, I cannot believe they didn't take you off of it." She told me these were rare side effects, but that she had a few patients that this had happened to. The doctor also informed me that patient's taking this drug need to be closely monitored for that type of behavior, which I had not been monitored.

I cannot relay to any one reading this how much better I feel off of that drug. I am relieved to know I am not mentally ill or simply crazy. I AM HAPPY TO BE ALIVE! I can deal with things, I have patience, I no longer snap at people or yell as much. Literally, I am a changed person. :bouncy:

:rockon: FINALLY,after a lot of red tape, and a long wait, I received news just yesterday, that told me my application for disability was FULLY FAVORABLE. This, after one denial that claimed I was disabled, but not quite disabled enough to receive these benefits. My appeal had been reviewed and the ruling changed. :cheers: :dance: It will still be 30-90 days before I see any money, the back benefits I am owed since 4/03, and the monthly benefit. What an awsome early Christmas present, and a belated birthday gift! :happy:

I have climbed out of a hole that was so deep I couldn't even see daylight when I looked up. The benefits I (along with everyone who works) had been paying into for years are finally coming due to be. There is hope and sun. Life is good, and although it has its down and cloudy moments, it is worth living to the full extent that I can live it!

:clap: THANK GOD FOR 2ND CHANCES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank God for the three most important people in my life, my son, Kevin and my mother. They were with me in the dark, now I can share light with them. :cloud9:

Thank you for letting me share my story. :wave:

80's fanatic
9-25-05, 02:18 AM
I'm glad that you are doing better now Jeannie !!!!! I'm going through, somewhat of the same thing with my sister right now. I pray that she too can get the help she needs to see the light. It's so hard when you're constantly in pain or depressed to live an 'everyday life'. You don't want to get up in the morning, get dressed, or leave the house. You just want to stay in bed all day and sleep.

I'm glad that you discovered that pill was making you suicidal and you stopped taking it, you in a sense, saved your own life !!!!! I pray that things continue to get better for you..... and I'm so glad that Kevin, Danny & your Mom were there to help you find the light. I wish you all the best hon !!!! Take Care !!!! :hug:

Miss INXS
9-25-05, 02:23 AM
I am glad to hear that you are doing so well these days, Jeannie! :rose: And also...congratulations on the news about your disability benefits! http://www.80sxchange.com/ubb/wink.gif

Thanks for sharing your story with us. It's always nice to get updates with happy news! http://www.80sxchange.com/ubb/wink.gif

stlkev70
9-25-05, 03:06 AM
It was pretty hard for me to deal with at times. I hated coming home from work not knowing what was going to happen next or what kind of mood she was in during the day.

I hated to see her in so much misery. I actually hurt inside for her. It was quite frustrating not knowing what to do for her was the hardest thing to deal with. You just don't know how depressed someone you love is until they take the measures she did to get rid of her pain and depression.

I always kept a possitive though through it all and knowing that things will work out for the best! I honestly believe they have!

When she got the letter I gave her the biggest hug!

Harket
9-25-05, 05:43 AM
Quite scary what drugs can do to you. I really hate those doctors that just give out pills as if they were the answer to all life's problems.

So, good that you finally got off them and got better :thumb: And also good that you can finally move on to a better state of mind. And Kevin and the rest of your family deserves a big hug for being there for you :)

Caligula
9-25-05, 06:54 AM
nice to seeyou have turned a corner, best wishes you , kev and your family

TopCat
9-25-05, 06:57 AM
:rose: Jeannie. Kev is a good man. You are lucky to have him. ;) YAY to second chances. :clap:

BrandyBlue
9-25-05, 08:04 AM
Good for you, sweetie! Social Security can be really difficult to deal with. I was denied on my first claim, too. Well over 95% of people are on their first claim. I'm glad you didn't give up!

I have had similar experiences, in the mental illness, as you have and I have to say that I am so proud of your for recognizing that you had a problem and that you needed help for it. It's terrible that you had to hit rock bottom to get there--rock bottom is a horrid place that I don't wish on anyone!

I am glad to say, too, that there is hope for you. Disability payments make it much easier to get through school so if you decide you want to go back (eventually) you can do that. It can also help with the psychiatric visit payments, meds for certain conditions, and other things (the medicare that goes along with it).

You are on your way up, Jeannie! You will have your ups and downs but I promise you, if you keep working at it, there eventually will be way more ups than downs, and there will be more of the brighter days ahead :rose: Even though I still have problems I am working through, the fact that I am able to go back to school, go out to get the groceries, drive to a few places, etc speaks to the fact that you can get better.

I want you to remember, too, that you may find that you have some limitations that you can't beat yourself up about. I still can't handle a big crowd or a lot or noise. There are still nights that my father haunts my dreams. I can only drive a certain few routes that I am used to, etc. Just remember that everything you do is more than you were doing, and keep on working at it.

Hugs to you, hon!

Rhiannon73
9-25-05, 02:53 PM
What an ordeal you and Kev have been through! I'm glad to hear that you're doing so much better, Jeannie! It's nice having you here with us at the Xchange! :vibes:

ValJ
9-25-05, 04:40 PM
Wow. That is a lot to go through. I'm glad you came out the other side a stronger and happier person. :ghug: Good luck on keeping things on track from here on out. :)

jen*
9-25-05, 05:04 PM
Jeannie and Kevin I commend you both for your bravery and the ability to get through such a difficult situation. :rose:

Next: I work for Social Security in the Office of Hearings and Appeals. I cannot stress enough that to qualify for benefits, you must, must, must have strong documentation of your disability. If you see a doctor only once or twice for depression, that's not enough documentation for you to meet a listing. If the judge sends you for a consultative examination, GO! Don't hold anything back, but also note that doctors are watching for symptom exaggeration. I'm very glad that you received a fully favorable decision. I'm sorry that it took so long. It's the people who are trying to get over on the system that clog up the works for those who are really in need. I think that's the worst part of my job. Jeannie and Kev I admire you both for your perseverence. :rose:

PG
9-25-05, 05:09 PM
Jeannie, I am so glad you shared your story. I think there are alot of people out there who go through similiar experiences, but are afraid to talk about it. THANK goodness, you got off those pills!!! It just goes to show that even though a doctor prescribed it, doesn't mean it's good for you. I tried anti-anxiety pills for awhile & I HATED them. I felt so angry & depressed ON them & it almost tore apart my family. I now have found that eating right & exercising helps tremdously with my anxiety issues. I haven't had a panic attack in ages!

Well, good luck to you, girl! I wish the best for you & your family. :hug: And Kevin - you deserve a great big hug as well :hug: You're a good man :)

stlkev70
9-26-05, 12:20 AM
I would like to thank all of you for your kind words and thoughts! It has been quite a difficult thing to deal with but knowing that there is a light at the end of the tunnel just makes all of your words that much more special! :thumb:

80sTrivia
9-26-05, 05:58 AM
I am so glad things worked out for you, Jeannie, and that you were able to realize that the drug you were taking was causing your depression and suicidal thoughts. We are all glad that you are happy and healthy (and still alive) to be able to raise your son!!! :)

fungirl3
9-28-05, 11:28 AM
:rose: Thanks for sharing your story. It's great to hear your feeling much better and more good things are heading your way! Best wishes to you, Kevin and your family! :ghug:

JeannieT
9-28-05, 11:44 AM
Thanks to all of you for your comments and good wishes. It means a lot to me that people have read my story, and care enough to comment. :happy:

KimJoy69
9-28-05, 12:37 PM
Well, good luck to you, girl! I wish the best for you & your family. :hug: And Kevin - you deserve a great big hug as well :hug: You're a good man :)Yup! :yesnod: What PG said! I whole heartedly agree! :hug: to BOTH of ya! :D

Pagan
9-28-05, 12:58 PM
I'll third PG's comments. Best of luck for all of you!