Think back to the way your parents raised you.

What would you do differently?

My mother was very strict on me. I always promised myself that I wouldn't be that strict.


My mother always cursed me by saying " I hope you have a Devil child just like you"
I never say that to my kids.

My mother would put my father down infront of me all the time.
I have never put down my kids father because that just scars them. Just because I know he is an asshole doesn't mean that they need to know that.

I don't have kids. :clap: However, i have my niece and nephew a good bit. I did promise myself to never talk bad about their mom in front of them. Reguardless of how shitty of a mother she is and the fact that she has not seen them in 5 years, she is still the mom. When my parents got divorced al my dad did was talk bad about my mom.

I would not judge so harshley. I always felt if I did something wrong I would be banished from the family. :rolleyes: ...and who knows. So, I always did everything to make others happy. See, therapy helps. :p :lol: But that is an awful feeling and I never want to do that.

I will never put down their looks.

My mother use to tell me not to smile becuase my smile was just to darn big. So in school pictures I wouldn't smile at all. I always tell my kids that they are perfect.

Oh man, Where do I begin! I don't have children but if I ever do.

I'll never tell them they are worthless or stupid..

Always let them speak, even when the "adults are talking".

Some stuff just leaves life lasting scars, ya know.

We do not have children but if we ever did and I can be half the parent mine are we'd be in good shape :thumb:

Well, I know for damn sure if and when I have children I won't do what my father did, and that is be a deadbeat.

My parents although very loving, had a problem with arguing and I promised myself that there would not be contention in my household when I grew up. So if my partner decides he wants a yelling match, I just simply leave and go for a drive somewhere, because I refuse to have my home become unpeaceful, as your home is suppose to be your sanctuary and haven of happiness.

Since I was 15 my mother and I haven't got along very well, even to this day. Whenever she got mad at me she would say, " I hope when you have kids, they're just like you, only worse." My mother wasn't and still isn't the loving type. Whenever I would try to hug her she would say, " Don't hang on me !!!! ". That was very painful for me. I promised myself back then that when I had children I would tell them everyday that I loved them and give them hugs to let them know how I feel about them. I do that everyday. I have a daughter who will be 15 in 18 days. I just hope that I've done a better job at parenting, and that she doesn't feel like I did at her age. I refuse to be like my mother !!!!

I will never put down their looks.

My mother use to tell me not to smile becuase my smile was just to darn big. So in school pictures I wouldn't smile at all. I always tell my kids that they are perfect.


LOL i love your smile. I tell you all the time, im not your mom, so show me that smile anytime!!! And i mean it :love:


I want to not have to work as much to be able to spend more time with them. Mine was always working all the time and when they werent working, the same company would be giving them jobs in different states so we were moving. Dad was always gone for long amounts of time setting up the new location, then mom was here working till midnight, and i was here taking care of my brother while i packed the house. I know they did what they had to but i hope i could give more time to my kids, her kids, our kids, WHATEVER LOL just the kids in my life.

Make since??

My father left us when I was 3 and barely saw me after that. The last time I saw him was a few days after my 9th birthday at my parents divorce. He died when I was 22. He never called or wrote in that time. He never showed any kind of affection or even told me that he loved me. As a father, myself and a divorced one at that I live with that memory etched in my brain! I always try to be a better father to my kids than he was to me. I always show my kids affection and I tell them I love them all the time. Even though my 2 oldest don't live with me they know that I am hear if they need anything. I am proud to be a father and I would not trade it for anything in the world. Too bad my father didn't enjoy it as much as I did.

Some of you may not agree with me on this but when my daughter who is 11 gets mad at me because I won't do something or can't do something I always tell her "my dad was never around for me to get mad at him for anything.

I sort of have an a current issue.

When I was growing up, my father refused to ever call another parent or the school if I was being bullied by someone my own age, infact I remember him not letting me in the house when I was running away from one of neighbours forcing me to fight. His reasons were kids don't really hurt each other, if you don't stick up for yourself you qwill continue being picked on etc. He always told me I would never get in trouble at home if someone called about me fighting with their kid as long as I didn't start it. He told me if I got beat up one day, then go back the next day , sucker him, use a stick , anythign I could find, even if he beatrs me again, he will soon figure out it's not worth fighting me all the time. My mother recently told me about something my father said that she now agree's with. Apparently she wanted to go tell the parents of a family of Norseman that were beating me up and my father wouldn't allow her. he said " tomorrow the kids will be friends, but if you go up the road to tell the parents you will be enemies for life"

Now skip to 2004, our 9 year old and 1/2 his class is being picked on by the traditional class bully . my GF wants to report it to the school, call the kids parents etc all that stuff. I disagree , I want Alex to stay away from the kid but if he has no choice I want Alex to attack and told Alex if he gets in trouble from the school, I'll be the first one to stick up for him and tell them I told him I wanted him to do that as the school is well aware of this little monster and basically does nothing. I suggested Alex walks up and smokes the kid in the temples and just starts hitting an kicking until the teachers drags him off the kid.

I know to some I sound like a monster, but the school is doing nothign about it, alot of the neighbours have complained about the kid (his fathers in jail) . I'm not tryiing to make Alex a bully, infact when I see alex bossing other kids around I get mad, but I figure when your 9 and your being bullied you may as well take care of yourself as it will only continue through life

My parents were generally very good parents all though my mother could be very negative some time and I want to be more supportive with my kids telling them they can achieve things, not they can't.

Also my mother always taught a very passive approach when it came to bullies. She was of the "Turn the other cheek" type of school. This made me a push over for bullies, so I determined that I would teach my kids to be more assertive. Don't let bullies bully you. Stand up for yourself, even though the school system doesn't encourage that. Even if it does get you into trouble with teachers. However I am also very strict that my kids do not become the bullies themselves. And so far they haven't.

My parents were very strict in some ways (sometimes over protective), but in other ways they let me get away with too much - answering back, arguing, not doing what I was told right away. I don't take any of that from my kids, but at the same time I want to be more approachable and less judgemental. I want to be the parent that my child will talk to about anything (which my parents weren't). It's a really tough balance and I don't think I'm doing too well there. I think my kids are afraid I might get angry about stuff so don't tell me things. :( (Just like I was with my parents).

I sort of have an a current issue.

When I was growing up, my father refused to ever call another parent or the school if I was being bullied by someone my own age, infact I remember him not letting me in the house when I was running away from one of neighbours forcing me to fight. His reasons were kids don't really hurt each other, if you don't stick up for yourself you qwill continue being picked on etc. He always told me I would never get in trouble at home if someone called about me fighting with their kid as long as I didn't start it. He told me if I got beat up one day, then go back the next day , sucker him, use a stick , anythign I could find, even if he beatrs me again, he will soon figure out it's not worth fighting me all the time. My mother recently told me about something my father said that she now agree's with. Apparently she wanted to go tell the parents of a family of Norseman that were beating me up and my father wouldn't allow her. he said " tomorrow the kids will be friends, but if you go up the road to tell the parents you will be enemies for life"

Now skip to 2004, our 9 year old and 1/2 his class is being picked on by the traditional class bully . my GF wants to report it to the school, call the kids parents etc all that stuff. I disagree , I want Alex to stay away from the kid but if he has no choice I want Alex to attack and told Alex if he gets in trouble from the school, I'll be the first one to stick up for him and tell them I told him I wanted him to do that as the school is well aware of this little monster and basically does nothing. I suggested Alex walks up and smokes the kid in the temples and just starts hitting an kicking until the teachers drags him off the kid.

I know to some I sound like a monster, but the school is doing nothign about it, alot of the neighbours have complained about the kid (his fathers in jail) . I'm not tryiing to make Alex a bully, infact when I see alex bossing other kids around I get mad, but I figure when your 9 and your being bullied you may as well take care of yourself as it will only continue through life


I agree with you about your son sticking up for himself. He has to or every kid will pick on him.
I have taught my 6 year old to defend himself form bullies and I am glad I did because there was a bully in his school that liked teasing him about his hair color ( he has red hair ) He came home once crying and telling me about it. I am a very aggresive person and told him never to allow another kid to pick on him or to bully him. So I taught him some simple moves.
He came back the next day with a big smile on his face. He told me that that kid will never hit him again because he got the kid down. He also started yelling asking if there was anyone else that wanted a piece of him :laugh:
Sorry but I thought that was funny and I was happy he did it. Now he will go through elementary school not fearing anyone.


My mother taught us at a early age to always stick up for yourself. But she told us that we should never start something, never to be a bully. I taught that to my kids also.

Some of you may not agree with me on this but when my daughter who is 11 gets mad at me because I won't do something or can't do something I always tell her "my dad was never around for me to get mad at him for anything.


I don't think you are wrong for saying that to her. You are just sharing your experiences with her about your dad and maybe hoping that she will appreciate you more that you are around for her :)