I have a bacterial infection in my throat. It is causing me perpetual and indescribable pain. I can't sleep. I can't eat. I can't breathe when I lie down because my throat closes in on itself. It's been there for two weeks.

I went to the damn doctor, and he prescribed these Cephalexin pills that should've made me feel better within 72 hours apparently, but instead have somehow made matters worse. I say so because now I have pain in my ears and constant headaches. I feel like Butters from that episode of South Park where he got a ninja star thrown in his eye.

Right now I am at the stage of Butters' progression wherein I am always whimpering, crying loudly, disorientated and woofing at passing traffic with dog fur glued to my face.

I have made a second appointment with the doctor for Thursday. I am going back there to strangle that quack, then I'm going to stab him in the neck with acid needles until he feels my pain. Maybe then he'll fork over the good drugs, and not these wimpy green Richard Simmons pills. I'm serious, the pill drama unfolds like this:

Cephalexin: [Richard Simmons voice] Excuse me! Hello, how are we feeling today?

Bacterium: Get lost.

Cephalexin: Could I, um, please persuade you to, um...say! Would you like a cookie? It's approved for the Food Mover I invented! Lose those pounds!

Bacerium: I am going to come over there and bludgeon you with my polysaccharide capsule if you don't leave.

Cephalexin: Please don't hurt me.

Bacterium: Changed my mind! I'm going to do it anyway! Har har har! *bludgeon, rape, bludgeon*

Cephalexin: I am slain. *passes through kidneys, expelled through urine*

This plays out every eight hours.

In conclusion, send me suitcases with cash inside.

Dude, that sucks! Hope you start feeling better soon :thumb: Definately take care of yourself. Don't strangle the doc though, you will go to jail and the doctors there probably suck worse :clap:
(Warden)-Doc, we are overcrowded in this here prison!
(Doctor)-Oh, Bacteria infection, yessssssssssssss :violin: :mwaha:

I'm thinking of drinking my sickness from a roaring lion to a mongoloid badger, but all the sake is gone. All that remains is some crappy American piss beer.

I'd be better off with actual urine. (http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_325407.html)The Thais must be right about this, I mean, they are Asian and people from Asia are smart. What does the "West" know? A "westerner" will just give me his useless Happy Pill that will start a frat party in my brain.

The horror, the horror.

I am sorry to hear that here is a :* to make you feel better :D
Drink alot of water and get plenty of rest.

Hope you feel better soon!!

I would pity you more but I am heading out the door :lol:

I'm sorry you feel so bad. But I must admit, that is the most entertaining description of an illness I've ever heard.
I'm glad to see you still have some humor left.

Get well soon bud.

Sorry to hear you are feeling bad. Take 3 Advil and some strong sinus medicine!

Hope you feel better :cheers:

Hope you feel better soon. Glad it is not me:D

That sucks! I hope you feel better soon! :( Don't strangle the doc. They give out crappy medicine in jail.

How about some clear chicken soup - it's my mom's (o.k. - EVERY jewish mom's) remedy for everything, and suprisingly, it usually works... :yesnod:

or....

I could tell you my usual REALLY bad jokes and the desire to escape my crappy humor will motivate you to become very healthy very fast :D

Oh well..... you decide and let me know.... in the mean time...

HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER SOON:*

How about some clear chicken soup - it's my mom's (o.k. - EVERY jewish mom's) remedy for everything, and suprisingly, it usually works... :yesnod:

or....

I could tell you my usual REALLY bad jokes and the desire to escape my crappy humor will motivate you to become very healthy very fast :D

Oh well..... you decide and let me know.... in the mean time...

HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER SOON:*

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, chicken soup and bad jokes. Could work. I say listen to the greek dude in My Big Fat Greek Wedding and put some Windex on it. :mwaha: :lol: :clap: On second thought, listen to Michelle! :thumb:

Being sick is always such a drag. I hope you feel better soon and that the doctor can prescribe you some medication that actually works...

I say listen to the greek dude in My Big Fat Greek Wedding and put some Windex on it. :mwaha: :lol: :clap:

ROTFLMAO :laugh: :clap: :laugh: :clap: :laugh: :clap: :laugh:

Talk to my doctor (BrandyBlue!) she always knows what to do :yesnod: :thumb: I'll page her shall I?

Awwww, nuts. Hope you get better, but I was really giggling reading your description!

Hope you get better. My pain woke me up last night. I feel like I'm sporting a shiner right now. ( Stupid wrinkle products)

I get these same sore throats on occasion--I was almost four months getting rid of one once, but I have a weakened immune system due to diabetes.

Here are some things that might help--

Honey is a natural and powerful antibacterial agent. In fact, it's so powerful that it is the only food on Earth that does not spoil, unless the bees that produced it were blighted.

Honey is too thick to swallow if your throat is swollen, so a solution of a cup of hot water with a few teaspoons of honey in it is a good place to start. If you are tolerant of aspirin, crush a low dose aspirin into it too. Drink this every couple of hours, followed by plenty of cold, cold water.

Soft drinks are dehydrating, so only water and herbal tea for right now, to supplement the honey drink, are what you should use.

When you sleep at night, make sure that your throat is wrapped up in a scarf, even if you sleep in an air conditioned room. Make sure that the A/C isn't directly on you.

Clean all fans, filters and such that run in your house.

Change your toothbrush, and when you are better, change it again. Keep it head-down in mouthwash, changing the mouthwash each time you put it in the cup.

Vitamin C, in high doses, will make you sweat like crazy. That's a good idea to do at least once, Drink a lot of water when you do it.

I have other suggestions, but this is the least expensive one I know of, and the honey is a great bet.

Good luck, hon! Hope it helps :rose:

Hope you feel better :rose:

If you keep getting this bacterial infection, you're probably passing it on to yourself over and over again. A couple years back I kept getting strep throat and my doctor told me to buy a bunch of toothbrushes and rotate them. You can stick them in the dishwasher or let them soak in bleach water (rinse them before you use them again, obviously). You have to break the bacteria cycle, so you should be using a clean cup/glass each time you get a drink and things like that. I took every antibiotic there was, including the one you're on. My strep wasn't going away and I wound up getting my tonsils removed, so I hope your infection goes away.

:lol: you have a good sense of humor... but i do hope you start to feel better ;)

I love you guys. You make me feel warm and fuzzy.

I love you guys. You make me feel warm and fuzzy.


Nah.. thats just the bacteria growing on your throat .

Nah.. thats just the bacteria growing on your throat .

I may have a bit of problem baby, but the high frequency love waves I'm emanating will over come you anyway.

Nobody escapes. Nobody. You are my victim.

I may have a bit of problem baby, but the high frequency love waves I'm emanating will over come you anyway.

Nobody escapes. Nobody. You are my victim.


Really?? I do feel kind of odd :uhoh: :p

Now I'M the one getting sick......:rolleyes:

Dude...you're 18 and she's 38....she'll chew you up and spit you out bro...:lol:

Now I'M the one getting sick......:rolleyes:

Dude...you're 18 and she's 38....she'll chew you up and spit you out bro...:lol:


I get the feeling she would spoil him for any other woman, though ;) I say go for it SI, show him what a REAL woman is!

I can't :( I've already got my hands full ;)

Damn it, this is viral. The doctor's original diagnosis was wrong. It's mono. Really, really bad mono. I've had it for two weeks now, undiagnosed until yesterday. I will have it for at least another...week and a half. I could have it for up to six months, if I don't take it easy.

I always thought mono was some fun, carefree, footloose disease. Now it feels like my spleen and liver are going to explode (they could, according the doc) and my throat feels like I ate a bag of Satans.

EWWWW, and you wanted to kiss me. *blech* yucky spitooey*

Chite! sounds like you're having a pretty rough time right now...hope you get back to your old self soon...(or do we?? He's a newbie so we arn't sure what he's like..he's on meds right now right? J/K :mwaha: )

EWWWW, and you wanted to kiss me. *blech* yucky spitooey*

Kiss? What, do you think I'm some Frenchman?

I am going right into the danger zone with you babe.

Chite! sounds like you're having a pretty rough time right now...hope you get back to your old self soon...(or do we?? He's a newbie so we arn't sure what he's like..he's on meds right now right? J/K )

I'm no newbie. I've had each and every one of you pegged down before I even started posting. Check it out:

You all like to talk about the '80s.

Put that in your toilet and flush it.

WOW who would have thought that the youth of today could come up with that :lol:

18.. man to be that young again :rolleyes:

Kiss? What, do you think I'm some Frenchman?

I am going right into the danger zone with you babe.



I'm no newbie. I've had each and every one of you pegged down before I even started posting. Check it out:

You all like to talk about the '80s.

Put that in your toilet and flush it.


ROFLMAO

Danger Zone?? Thats a good one. :laugh: :laugh:

I'm already spoken for ;)

ROFLMAO

Danger Zone?? Thats a good one. :laugh: :laugh:

I'm already spoken for ;)
Damn SI, who is your new little friend? I really think it will be scary to meet this guy well..... Get well soon anyway bro :thumb:

WOW who would have thought that the youth of today could come up with that :lol:

18.. man to be that young again :rolleyes:

Does my wit turn you on?

My mouth is very sexy without the pestilence. You can work the top while Southern makes sure everything below my upper torso doesn't languish in lonliness. Isn't my GPS of Sexual Indulgence brilliant? We could use it in war over the conquered women.

Man, that is a great idea. I should run for President.


I'm already spoken for ;)

I see...


http://blofeld.qbranch.se/~maal01/SamuraiTrilogy/musashi3_006.jpg

After I have defeated this nemesis in a grand duel, you will become my concubine. Honor will be heaped upon my name, and I will live as a king.



/me puts snake back in cage

Holy crap!!!! LMFAO :laugh: http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/23/23_29_132.gif

This guy is too damned funny.

Hope you feel better soon. :)

Just so I don't get off topic: hope you feel better soon.

Now, SI, I think you should go for this guy. He's trainable at this age and you need the practice. :lol:

Just so I don't get off topic: hope you feel better soon.

Now, SI, I think you should go for this guy. He's trainable at this age and you need the practice. :lol:


Did ya forget to take your pill today???

Ten bucks says he's a virgin who's WAAAAAAY too into role playing games. ;) :lol:

Ten bucks says he's a virgin. ;)

http://www.anchoredbygrace.com/smileys/LolLolLolLol.gif

Ten bucks says he's a virgin who's WAAAAAAY too into role playing games. ;) :lol:

Quit trying to punish me for being big pimpin. You may have had dibs on the ladies first, but there is a new man in town and he wants sloppy seconds.

Quit trying to punish me for being big pimpin. You may have had dibs on the ladies first, but there is a new man in town and he wants sloppy seconds.

Get this guy into the LL, I want to see how this plays out! It is like a car wreck, you don't want to watch but you don't really turn away either :mwaha: SI, Vegas is not that far from SoCal :thumb: By the way, I think Pagan is on to something :yesnod:

By the way, I think Pagan is on to something :yesnod:
I'm guessing 32nd level Paladin in "Dungeons & Dragons", about 5'10", 127 pounds, lifelong Star Trek convention attendee, and frequents the "Real Doll" web page longingly. ;)

I'm still trying to figure out what interest in the 80's someone who uses the term "big pimpin" could possibly have? :laugh:

A new man in town? Bro I'm willing to bet your balls haven't dropped yet! :laugh:

(for those who think I'm being antagonistic, I'm just having a little fun with the cub....;))

No..Alan, not this time..:lol: You go right ahead with this one! :thumb:

I'm guessing 32nd level Paladin in "Dungeons & Dragons", about 5'10", 127 pounds, lifelong Star Trek convention attendee, and frequents the "Real Doll" web page longingly. ;)


:lol: :lol: :lol:


What's a "big pimpin" :confused:

:p

I think it was a term in that book years ago...REAL MEN DON'T EAT QUICHE!! :lol: or THE PREPPIE HANDBOOK..Maybe the vintage 1,000 WAYS TO PICK UP CHICKS!



**BTW--You don't have us all pegged down just because we happen to enjoy the 80s, of course we like to talk about them, MOST of us LIVED them! Why else would we be on a message board that is about that great time? So I'll let that little comment about flushing that go this time...now behave young man (?) ;) :lol:

I'm guessing 32nd level Paladin in "Dungeons & Dragons", about 5'10", 127 pounds, lifelong Star Trek convention attendee, and frequents the "Real Doll" web page longingly. ;)

I'm still trying to figure out what interest in the 80's someone who uses the term "big pimpin" could possibly have? :laugh:

A new man in town? Bro I'm willing to bet your balls haven't dropped yet! :laugh:

(for those who think I'm being antagonistic, I'm just having a little fun with the cub....;))

:clap: :lol: :laugh: :clap: :lol: :laugh:

I'm crying over here. Whats a Big Pimpin?? Oh man, do I have to go toVegs just to see what this guy is like??

Dammit... see all the fun I miss when I'm wallowing in my own Pity??
:lol: :laugh: :laugh: :lol:

BIG PIMPIN is a rap song from JAY Z...but I wouldn't call it a song..most of it goes uh-uh-uh with a bunch of words together that don't make any sense at all. :lol:


Anyway....this is getting OT...just hope the guy (?) takes his meds like the nice doctors tell him to ...he needs to take it easy remember? Or he could be like this FOR 6 MONTHS! :yesnod:

BIG PIMPIN is a rap song from JAY Z...but I wouldn't call it a song..most of it goes uh-uh-uh with a bunch of words together that don't make any sense at all. :lol:

Don't make sense at all, like this thread you mean? :clap: :clap: :clap:

Exactly... :thumb: (see above edit..we typed over each other ;) )

Oh man, do I have to go toVegs just to see what this guy is like??
Save your airfare Mia....he's the one on the left. :lol: ;)

http://www.geocities.com/brothaj311/02_trekkidz.JPG

http://deephousepage.com/smilies/rofl5.gif

Save your airfare Mia....he's the one on the left.

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Ouch, I just shot hot coffee out of my nose. Now give me your pity. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

:lol: :laugh: :lol: :laugh: :lol:

My eye hurts now from laughing so hard. ( yes I said eye. It's swollen :( ) :lol:

Damn.... PITY PARTY AT KIMMY'S HOUSE!!!! :laugh: :lol: :laugh: :lol:

Well...uh........


Yeah, ok.

:clap: WTG...good comeback! :lol:


BTW...if your throat has been closed up for 2 weeks...how'd you manage to eat your sausage the other night? If my throat had been hurting like that, I certainly wouldn't have cooked that..maybe some broth or something. Whazup wi dat??

Ah take it easy on the kid, he's trying to be funny. I thought it was amusing anyways. It got a chuckle or two outta me. It isn't easy coming into a well-established board where it seems everybody has been talking and meeting for years before you even knew it existed. So far, he hasn't been too abrasive (not like some youngins could be anyways.)
I think it's kinda cool that he is even mildly interested in the 80's, (I mean, aside from the fact that they *were* awesome), he is really going against the grain in voicing that the 80's are cool.

OK, I'm rambling here, just thought I'd say, maybe be nice to him, unless SI is truly uncomfortable with his flirting...he isn't causing too much harm yet, is he?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Patty aka Bookmistress4ever

Now Jana....there ya go using logic to nab a bullshit artist!

Elementary, my dear Watson!

BTW...if your throat has been closed up for 2 weeks...how'd you manage to eat your sausage the other night? If my throat had been hurting like that, I certainly wouldn't have cooked that..maybe some broth or something. Whazup wi dat??

No sausage. I was just seeing what kind of reaction I would get.

Nah, it's ok, Patty. We're just having a little fun with him. You have to admit he got a 5 page thread out of this for a newcomer ;)

Hope your feeling better, Yaga dude. You made me laugh so hard. :clap:

I feel kinda funny. Like when you climb the rope in gym class.