Over the weekend, I went w/a friend and two other coworkers to visit an ex-coworkers new baby. (Her second.)

I ended up being just absolutely dumbstruck by some of the things I was hearing and was wondering -- Is this 2004 or 1950?????

The ex-coworker has a younger brother who is 30. The other three women kept asking when he's going to get married. That in itself, to me is irritating because people can't get over the notion that maybe some people shouldn't get married or don't want to or whatever. But she was talking about how he was talking to her about the fact that he has no illusions about his looks but is very critical of a woman's looks everytime he dates someone and he doesn't know why. Then she said he recently brought home someone who was 23. And his mom asked him why he didn't date women his age. He said that if a woman is 30 or almost 30 and isn't married yet that something must be wrong w/her!!! :bigeek:

Then one of the other women said that her son is 26 and recently broke up w/his girlfriend of 4 1/2 years because he doesn't believe that the woman he marries should have a career!!! :bigeek:

That's just the tip of the iceberg and doesn't include the dipsh*t stuff I hear from other women (who think they're modern and independent) who can't get over the fact that I just don't want children. I've heard, all it will take is the "right man" in my life -- as if I can't have my own opinion about that stuff w/out a man! Or women who still feel pressure not to be "so independent" because it just isn't lady like. Ugh!!!

Has anyone else been hearing stuff like this from people who should know better or who should be more -- open minded?

I think the people you mentioned are being ridiculous. I also think you are getting pumped up over nothing.

Now that I think about it, I think you are being more superficial than any of them. Judging the opposite sex on looks, wanting the female to stay home, desire for the "soul mate"(or "right man/lady") play a primordial role in life. I don't think it's of any reason to try and be more "enlightened" than people who are simply acting the way people naturally act.

Just relax. It isn't a big deal. It is not like they hate black people or something.

I decided in my late teens that I wasn't going to have children and in my early twenties I went and had a tubal ligation, just to make sure that it would stay that way. Time after time, I have heard "You will be sorry", "Someday you're going to chance your mind", "I can't believe you would deny someone grandchildren", etc. Blah blah blah, yackity shmackity. Whatever. We aren't all meant to breed.

It's funny that a man who isn't married until later in life is just "cosmopolitan" or "pursuing his goals" but there is something wrong with a woman who makes the same decision.

I personally enjoy being married but again, I don't think it's for everyone and I don't think that people should marry just because they feel pressured to do so.

There is a flaw in feminism that irritates me--and I say this as a feminist. Feminism was meant to give women MORE choices, to give them the rights that men have. It was supposed to help women become smart, strong and able to take care of themselves. Instead, too many feminists think that it means that a woman has to act like a man, and too many men think it means that women who make the choice to have a career are bitches.

This is what I say to all of this-- I chose to be married and I love it, but I know that there are many women who are just as happy being single, and great for them! I chose not to have kids, but I know that there are a lot of women who love being moms--hey, glad for 'em!

Don't let other people's idiocy rile you up, hon--just go home and that your lucky stars that you actually know how to use that brain, instead of letting it stew while other people dictate to you how to think. It's sad that more people aren't like that--it must be miserable!

And, good for you for not having kids, if that's what you want!

I think the people you mentioned are being ridiculous. I also think you are getting pumped up over nothing.

Now that I think about it, I think you are being more superficial than any of them. Judging the opposite sex on looks, wanting the female to stay home, desire for the "soul mate"(or "right man/lady") play a primordial role in life. I don't think it's of any reason to try and be more "enlightened" than people who are simply acting the way people naturally act.

Just relax. It isn't a big deal. It is not like they hate black people or something.

A) I don't really understand where you think I am judging the opposite sex on their looks. That clearly was something the woman's brother said about himself.

B) An unmarried 30 year old man thinking there's something wrong w/a 30 year old woman who's not married is not "natural" -- it's hypocritical. And while men not wanting a woman w/a career may be traditional, it is by no means a law of nature.

C) Unfortunately, people who feel the way the two young men, I've talked about, feel (whether they be male of female) usually cannot keep their opinions to themselves and find it necessary to tell people like myself and Brandy Blue that we have to have children. I think it's absolutely superficial to expect every human being to want to bear and/or raise children.

The only thing I love more than listening to married people bitch about their spouses is having them ask me why I'm not married yet. I usually ask them when they're getting divorced, but for some reason the find that offensive. :lol: I guess if you're single, your marital status is everybody's business. I've had coworkers tell me I need a husband and that I need to get married soon. My sister thinks it's a shame that I'm not married (her words). My mom wants me to have a baby, but she wasn't amused when I offered to have one out of wedlock. :laugh:

One of my cousins (who has been married for about 25 years) told me that I should never get married. Instead, I should just find a guy I like and who likes me, keep our own apartments/houses, and just get together for sex and stuff. :lol:

One of my cousins (who has been married for about 25 years) told me that I should never get married. Instead, I should just find a guy I like and who likes me, keep our own apartments/houses, and just get together for sex and stuff. :lol:

Hell, you could actually get a married guy for that arrangment and when people ask when you are going to get married you can say,"Well at least he's married".
:mwaha:

I think it's great that you know what you want, too many people have kids for the wrong reason.