1. You lose arguments with inanimate objects.

2. You have to hold on to the lawn to keep from falling off the
earth.

3. Your job starts to interfere with your drinking.

4. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.

5. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.

6. You sincerely believe alcohol is the elusive 5th food group.

7. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case Coincidence?!?!?

8. Two hands and just one mouth now THAT'S a drinking problem.

9. Every woman you see has an exact twin.

10. You fall off the floor

11. Hey, 5 beers have just as many calories as a burger, screw
dinner!

12. Your idea of cutting back is less salt.

13. Every night you're beginning to find your neighbors cat
more and more attractive

14. I'm not drunk you're just sober!!

15. Vanessa Feltz looks good

16. You don't recognize your wife unless seen from the bottom of
a glass.

17. That dammed pink elephant followed me home again.

18. You have a reserved parking space at the pub

19. You've fallen and can't get up.

20. The flowers are drunk too, from frequent watering


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<FONT size="4">C-YA</FONT s>

Okay... I totally agree with the "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case, coincidence?"

Perfect!!

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ROCK AND ROLL!!!
SAL IS A FREAK!!!

Later!! Tina

#1,2,5,10,19 been there! I can honestly say I had once(maybe twice) felt like I was falling off the earth http://www.80sxchange.com/ubb/smilies//redface.gif Not recentlyhttp://www.80sxchange.com/ubb/smilies//smile.gif How about hearing helicopters? Its amazing that the sound acutally stops once you hang a leg over the bed http://www.80sxchange.com/ubb/smilies//confused.gif

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If I could, Would you??

topcat, i swear, you are too funny!! A leg over the bed!! I knew I had too much to drink when it looked my kitchen table was growing out from the wall to keep me from getting to the couch and so I said FU** in front of my Dad. Major no no. Later heard that i may have had alcohol poisoning because i couldn't remember anything after like the 10th beer. So I built up my tolerance!!! I'm back down to about 5 beers to be drunk, though, so I'm a cheap date!!http://www.80sxchange.com/ubb/smilies//laugh.gif

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Yeah. And then you woke up!

Only 5 beers huh.Hey wanna go out sometimeshttp://www.80sxchange.com/ubb/smilies//laugh.gif

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"My brain is hangin' upside down,and I need somethin'to slow me down"-Joey Ramone..."Bonzo goes to Bitburg"

Hmmm... sorry culty... I am a bit more expensive....
I had, (I think) 4 amaretto and diet and a shot of amaretto, but it was the cheap stuff and the bartender must have liked me, cuz I always drink it in a tall glass and she was puttin about 2 shots in each drink!!!

I knew I had too much one night when I had to be helped to the bathroom by my boyfriend and another guy and there was another guy in there kissing the toilet and I said he better move or else I was gonna piss on his head!!!
So one of the 2 guys rotated him 180* and slung him over the tub and I peed with 2 guys in the doorway, one slumped over the tub and the door wide open for anyone else that came along!!! And I didn't care!!!


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It's a lot like life -This play between the sheets - With you on top and me underneath - Forget all about equality
Let's play... Master and Servant

<FONT COLOR="#6699cc" SIZE="1" FACE="Verdana, Arial">This message has been edited by 8teesBuff on 05-02-2001 at 02:06 AM</font>

Hey, I bet those guys thought you were sooooo attractive and classy??(kidding) http://www.80sxchange.com/ubb/smilies//smile.gif Sorry im just trying to get to 200http://www.80sxchange.com/ubb/smilies//smile.gif

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If I could, Would you??

Well, 8teesbuff, you did say you were a high class hussy. http://www.80sxchange.com/ubb/smilies//rolleyes.gif High maintenence, also, so it's no surprise you want the expensive stuff!!!http://www.80sxchange.com/ubb/smilies//00hahaha.gif Maybe the bartender is one of those ladies who are secretly attracted to you.http://www.80sxchange.com/ubb/smilies//smiley5.gif Don't lead her on Buff. Free drinks is not worth a broken hearthttp://www.80sxchange.com/ubb/smilies//CRYING2.gif

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Yeah. And then you woke up!

1. You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
2. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
3. Job interfering with your drinking.
4. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
5. Career won't progress beyond Senator from Massachusetts.
6. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
7. Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.
8. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think not!
9. Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking problem!
10. You can focus better with one eye closed.
11. The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.
12. You fall off the floor...
13. Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.
14. Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!
15. Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you
16. At AA meetings you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."
17. Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
18. You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed. - hmm.
19. The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in...
20. You think the Four Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, Alcohol, and [Women or Men].
21. Every night you're beginning to find your roommate's cat more and more attractive.
22. Roseanne looks good.
23. Don't recognize wife unless seen through bottom of glass.
24. That damned pink elephant followed me home again.
25. Senators Kennedy and Packwood shake their heads when they walk past you.
26. I'm as jober as a sudge.
27. The shrubbery's drunk from too frequent watering.
28. You wake up screaming "TORO TORO TORO!" in the middle of the night.

LOL :lol: I liked #12.

This was one of the first jokes I read when I got online back in '98...I remember cracking up my group at the college cafe reading those off...:lol:

I think TC said it best....it never fails....as of course, this has indeed been posted before http://www.80sxchange.com/forums/showthread.php?threadid=3170&highlight=inanimate

Just a slightly condensed list there...:p

14. Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!


:laugh:

Originally posted by ValJ
27. The shrubbery's drunk from too frequent watering.



:lol: :lol: Good one, Val!

Ok, now I know I've acted out the first one on several occassions, and sometimes sober! That darn remote! :lol:

Nice one Val!:lol:

I know that I'm certainly all of the above as we lost 5-1 at my soccer match today...so I've had a few beers to console myself!

Yup...beer is definitely a cure all! Or as Homer Simpsons once said, beer is the answer to all of lifes problems! (or maybe it was questions)

Hmmm I think I'll go have one now.... :)

Well I never had any experince from this but believe me I never will. Funny though.