TopCat
8-27-03, 01:42 PM
>LITTLE BILLY ON ...GETTING OLDER
> >
> >Little BILLY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar
> >after another. After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him
> >said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It
> >will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
> >Little BILLY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years
> >old."
> >"Oh?" replied the man. " Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at
> >a time?"
> >"No" replied Little Billy, "he minded his own ****ing
> >business!!"
> >
> >LITTLE BILLY ON...PHILOSOPHY
> >
> >A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
> >and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on
> >little BILLY. He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the
> >first gunshot." The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I
> >like your thinking." Then little BILLY says, "I have a question for
> >YOU. There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is
> >delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The
> >second is gobbling down the top and
> >sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which
> >one
> >is married?"
> >The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well, I suppose the
> >one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
> >To which Little BILLY replied, "The correct answer is the one with
> >the wedding ring on, but I like your thinking."
> >~~~~~~~~~
> >LITTLE BILLY ON... MATH:
> >
> >Little BILLY returns home from school and says he got an F in
> >arithmetic. "Why?" asks the father."
> >"The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3?' I said 6," replied BILLY.
> >"But that's right!" says his dad.
> >"Yeah, but then she asked me, 'How much is 3x2?'"
> >"What's the ****ing difference?" asks the father?
> >"That's what I said!"
> > ~~~~~~~~~~
> >
> >LITTLE BILLY ON...ENGLISH:
> >Little BILLY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are
> >going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an
> >example of a multi-syllable word?" BILLY says "Mas-tur-bate."
> >Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little BILLY, that's a mouthful."
> >Little BILLY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~
> >
> >LITTLE BILLY ON...GRAMMAR:
> >
> >One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
> >show hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same
> >sentence twice. First she called on little Suzie, who responded with,
> >"My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked
> >beautiful in it."
> >"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little
> >Michael.
> >"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out
> >beautifully."
> >The teacher responded, "Excellent, Michael!" Then, she reluctantly
> >called on little BILLY.
> >"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she
> >was pregnant, and he said "Beautiful, just ****ing beautiful"!!
> >
> >Little BILLY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar
> >after another. After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him
> >said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It
> >will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
> >Little BILLY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years
> >old."
> >"Oh?" replied the man. " Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at
> >a time?"
> >"No" replied Little Billy, "he minded his own ****ing
> >business!!"
> >
> >LITTLE BILLY ON...PHILOSOPHY
> >
> >A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
> >and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on
> >little BILLY. He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the
> >first gunshot." The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I
> >like your thinking." Then little BILLY says, "I have a question for
> >YOU. There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is
> >delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The
> >second is gobbling down the top and
> >sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which
> >one
> >is married?"
> >The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well, I suppose the
> >one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
> >To which Little BILLY replied, "The correct answer is the one with
> >the wedding ring on, but I like your thinking."
> >~~~~~~~~~
> >LITTLE BILLY ON... MATH:
> >
> >Little BILLY returns home from school and says he got an F in
> >arithmetic. "Why?" asks the father."
> >"The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3?' I said 6," replied BILLY.
> >"But that's right!" says his dad.
> >"Yeah, but then she asked me, 'How much is 3x2?'"
> >"What's the ****ing difference?" asks the father?
> >"That's what I said!"
> > ~~~~~~~~~~
> >
> >LITTLE BILLY ON...ENGLISH:
> >Little BILLY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are
> >going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an
> >example of a multi-syllable word?" BILLY says "Mas-tur-bate."
> >Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little BILLY, that's a mouthful."
> >Little BILLY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~
> >
> >LITTLE BILLY ON...GRAMMAR:
> >
> >One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
> >show hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same
> >sentence twice. First she called on little Suzie, who responded with,
> >"My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked
> >beautiful in it."
> >"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little
> >Michael.
> >"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out
> >beautifully."
> >The teacher responded, "Excellent, Michael!" Then, she reluctantly
> >called on little BILLY.
> >"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she
> >was pregnant, and he said "Beautiful, just ****ing beautiful"!!