Okay this has been bothering me for some time.
And I thought some of you could help me.
I know there is no hope for me but I need some input.


Why should two people marry?

I have been seeing someone for almost 7 years. We have had some hard times as I am sure everyone does. For 4 years we have been off and on again. I didn't want to marry him until I knew he was going to change and he has.
He has totally changed for the better of course.

He has this big vacation planned for all of us. There is a chappel in the Smoky Mountains and he wants us to get married this weekend.
I love him and all but why is it so hard for me to say yes to this?

I don't know if I'm the person to ask at this point..but I think if you need to think about it, especially after this long, and something still doesn't feel right to you in the back of your mind about it, don't marry. It's been 7 years already (on and off) what's a little longer at this point?

Good luck in whatever decision you make..this is just my 2 shiney pennies hitting the floor. :)

Thanks Jana :D

:) I'm just a romantic...it should feel completly right in your heart. The first time I married, we had been together on and off for a couple of years. I felt pressured. I loved him but didn't want to spend the rest of my life with him. Went ahead and married him anyway.

With my current husband..we had only known each other for a few months when we decided to get married. If it had been up to Joe, we would have married sooner. After nine years of marriage, it seems to be getting better and stronger every day...(hey..didn't CHICAGO have a song that sounded like that?) Oh boy...I NEED MORE COFFEE!

You are right. If I wanted to really get married then I would have a long time ago.
I am just scared to death of marriage I guess. I was married for 7 years before. I just guess I just don't want to ruin another mans life :D

What do you mean ruin another man's life? What about your life and your sons lives? OK>>so that didn't come out the way I intended...What I meant is... You need to look out for you and the boys first. I know that you probably don't want to hurt this person either. It's nice that he wants you and the boys in his life. It's great that he has changed also..but you do need to consider : How long did it take for him to change to the way you wanted him to be? You are probably thinking in the back of your mind if he is still the person he was before in a way...is that person going to emerge every once in a while? But if you saw the change gradually...that's another thing. Did he really want to change his ways or did he do it just to please you? Alot to think about when you have this much time invested into someone...:) <Better duck..there goes another 2 pennies flying through the air..>

I agree with Jana - think about what you really want & what feels right to you.

I hope you have a good time on your vacation!

Thanks girls.
I will take that all into consideration.
I do think about the kids and they want me to do it. They ask me all the time why we haven't married yet.
Danny has changed and it took him a full year to do it. I moved out and I went on with my life. I have done some things this past year that I am not happy about but so has he. We both have grown in this past year.
He moved out of state to give me some more time. He doesn't want to rush me but he lets me know that he loves me and the boys very much and he will give me the space.
He is so sweet now nothing like he use to be. I just don't feel right marrying him right now but why not.

OH well I guess I will find out this weekend!

HUGS!!

Well, if you care to hear from the other gender Milani, and this may surprise you, but I also agree with what Jana said. If he truly loves you, he'll wait, as long as it takes for you to feel comfortable to marry him. Everyone has some bumps in the road that they go through in a relationship whether it's as friends or married couples. Take your time in deciding about marrying him because you're investing your life and happiness with that person. You've been there before and you've probably thought about those two words a lot lately......."What if..." and when you can answer those questions comfortably then you can say your ready to invest all of your heart into marrying him.

To this day my wife hates me sometimes :lol: and at times I can spit fire when she gets on my nerves, but I don't think either one of us could do without each other. After 28 and a half years of marriage we're still one heart.

Thank you very much Sarge :D