I just got back from dropping my son off to go to camp. As we were waiting there we noticed alot of neglected chilren and this disturbed us.
How can a parent allow their child to look and act the way they do?
I saw infants that didn't have any shoes on and some of the older ones did but they were unfit to wear.
Some kids looked as if they haven't showered or brush their hair in weeks. :( I know it is takes alot of money to raise children but sheesh you can at least buy them a bar of soap. I know they had money because the parents were both smoking ... and everyone knows the price of cigerattes.
Being a parent this sickens me :rant: Why do the children have to suffer like this?
What is this world coming to? Don't they see it? Don't they feel guilty? I think this is a form of child abuse.


Don't you?

That irks me too when I see dirty children and signs of neglect. Why do people have children in the first place if they arn't going to take care of them? How long does it take to brush hair? Wash their faces? Go and pick out at least a cheap pair of shoes so they won't feel as if they're different from the other kids? Take a second look at your kids before you leave the house. A few times, my 8 yr old has wanted to wear some shirt she had been wearing outside...just to run to the store with me. If it has something on it..off it goes!

This makes me sick too. I think neglect is probably one of the worse kinds of abuse. How horrible it must be to feel unloved by one's own parents. :( I see a lot of neglected children here, as well. There are so many people who desperately want children and can't have them, and so many people who have children that don't deserve that privilege.
My younger sister has two small children, who she habitually leaves with my parents while she's out partying, sometimes for days at a time. Last time I saw them, my little nephew told me he wished I was his mommy, because I love him so much and I always do fun things with him. :cry: If it wasn't for my parents, the kids wouldn't have any clothes, toys, or food. She can't even be bothered to bathe them. I tell you, every time I see her, it's all I can do to keep from beating her stupid.
All the time I see on the news where parents leave young children home alone while they go do their own thing. Often these kids are left in squalid conditions, sometimes just left to their own devices. Usually you only hear about it because there has been some sort of tragedy. :mad:

:rant: I felt like going up to the parent and talking to them about it.. but I am sure that wouldn't help matters much. It just hurts to see these children like this. My son knew one of the boys and he said that he gets teased alot by other kids because of the way he smells and dresses. I asked Nathanuel if he teased that little boy and he said no.. becasue it is not his fault that he looks that way.. it is his parents fault. He is right as parents we are responsible for our children.

Psychocandy you are so right.
Have you ever watched COPS?
It is sad to see the conditions these kids live in. I have heard a couple of times when the cops told the parent to clean the place up; but of course the parent didnt' think the place was a mess.
I have a friend who sounds like your sister Psychocandy. I get so mad at her for doing that. With her welfare check she goes out and buys dope and beer instead of buying her kids new clothes :rant: That really gets to me.

Seeing that would make me mad as well. Milani, I'm sure as a parent, that's even more disturbing :( . Is there a number for social services that can be called to report this? It would seem to me that this is a form of child abuse.

I have a friend who works for the DCFS...I'll find out what I can about this.

I saw so many examples of this when I worked in the local IGA back home as a teenager. This one lady came to my register with a few items, I don't recall.. all I remember is the fact that she didn't have enough money on her card (EBT/Welfare) and so she put back a pack of diapers for her baby.. because she didn't have enough to buy them AND the 2 liter coke she had... so she just bought the coke..and the other items. I could just imagine what else she might sacrifice for her children in order to have what SHE wants. Your children should always comes first. There are way too many unfit mothers in this world.. and to think there are people who have the means to care for them, and aren't able to have them. It's saddening. Thank God we have good mothers like you Milani :)

Children are a big responsibility.
Whenever I hear something about bad parents or guardians I go crazy (especially abuse, however).
Children have to learn the world for their free decisions
and not the bulls**t of sick brains.
I hope there`s a lobby for the children. They are the future
of the land.
:)

It's unfortunate that some children have to go through that growing up. It's a shame that people have children when they are too immature and irresponsible to raise them and take care of them. I can definitely understand where your coming from Milani, and I would contact Social Services next time. Is this a summer camp where Nathanuel goes everday? Are those kids in his camp as well?

There was a story in the news about a week ago, about a 25 year old girl who left her children who were like infants in the car in the 100 degree heat while she got her hair done. They died. I can't believe how stupid some people are in this world.

I work for the Police Dept where I type in various Police Reports, and I see many reports of child abuse, secual abuse, etc.. There's some sick f**ckers in this world I tell ya.

There is a lot of children here in this apartment complex that look the way you have described the children you saw, Milani. The thing that really ticks me off around here is how the parents just let there kids run everywhere without supervision. I'm talking kids as young as 3 or 4 years old I have seen outside by theirselves! That is just an accident waiting to happen!

Its amazing how many people do not understand the responsiblity that comes with a child past "making" it. It stems (IMO) from education from their parents and sometimes school that having a baby isn't just a cute little package that everyone googles over. The child ends being the victim of the ignorance and selfishness of the parent(s).

The only thing to do is break the cycle, so those children don't grow up and end up just like their parents were...

Thank you all for your input.
I think the way they could stop this is for mothers to take a parent class and it should be manitory.
Being 15 years old I was terrified to have a child so I took a parent class in HIGH SCHOOL and it taught me alot. I think it would help some of these mothers out there.

I went to my sisters house last night and I saw a few kids running wild everywhere. They were even peeing in the yards :eek: I went out to try and find out where these kids lived.
One little boy took me to his house. I knocked and knocked on the door and no one answered. The little boy walked in; you should have seen this place :eek: It was awful and the mom was asleep ( or passed out ) on the couch. I woke her up and told her that her kids were outside going with out supervision and if she didn't get her butt out there I would call the authority.
She did get her nasty butt up and sat on the porch to watch them.
SOME PEOPLE HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE PARENTS!!!!!!

Some parents don't know any better. I have seen kids under 2 wearing no shoes and a halfway on diaper. The parents who are most likey siting around drinking. They don't deserve their kids. :mad:

However dirty bad kids does not constitute abuse. The childern services would be even more flooded with cases if that was how it went.

Children services are inept enough as it is. I know this from experience. The mother can do just about anything to her kids and because she is the mother, she gets away with it!! See what happens when the father is only accused of the same stuff. :rant:

They have courses in some of the schools now where they have to be responsible for a "doll". I don't like that idea one bit. Sure it's on a timer but some kids just leave the room when the timer goes off. I've seen the kids in the restraunts carrying the doll in the winter time with no blanket and they just lay it on a table. The assignment only lasts about 5 days too.

Here's some tips so these teens can really get a good feel of what it'll be like:

Have them drink something on a timer..where every morning it makes you sick as a dog. If you even look or smell food, you're hugging the toilet.

The labor: Pull bottom lip up to your forehead and leave it there for 12 hours.

Have the student wear clothing with spit up and poopy stains. (You know it always happens right when you are going out the door)

Have them wear a headset (with a timer) or have the noise of a crying baby pumped into their bedroom every 2 hours where they have to get up for 15 min. in able to disable it.

Sure..there's some humor in this post. But these ideas would be more effective than having them carry around a doll. I personally know of 2 girls (one is 17 and one is 22) where they had to carry the doll around. Both have given birth and "couldn't handle parenthood" so they took off and relatives are raising their kids now. Excuse me but "Can't handle parenthood"? You just deal with it...there is not a choice when you have a child.

I had to wear one of those pregnant suits for a week during school. It had even had extra weights you insert to simulate the pregnancy moving along.

Hard on the back, and the extra pressure on the bladder was rough too....the girls in the Parenting class had to carry eggs instead of dolls.

Of course, all it did was give me more respect for a pregant woman. I don't know what kind of impact the eggs/dolls have on girls at that age.

Have you seen the program where trouble-maker kids are taken to jails and shown hardened criminals to straighten them up? Maybe HS kids should be shown videos or taken to places where there are abused/neglected children and/or irresponsible parents to have a similar effect.

You two came up with some good ideas. If only it would help these children.
I never used the pregnant suit and I have never carried around a egg or a doll.. that is probably why I ended up pregnant so young :lol:
I think those young teenagers need to volunteer in a day care center for two weeks. Have you ever been in a day care center? I call to check up on my son every 3 hours and every time I call there are always screaming and crying going on. That would be enough to make any person think twice about having kids.

What they need in those "pregnant suits" is a lever that kicks you and wiggles under your ribs and presses out! LOL!

Good idea about the day care center Milani..

It's very sad when you see stuff like that. Some people just should not be parents! :rant:

I had a child development class in high school where we carried the egg around for 2 weeks. I left mine on the bus one day and had to go to the bus station to get it. As "punishment", my teacher assigned me sit in at a meeting for parents who've lost their children. It gave me a lot to think about.
We also ran a free day-care at the high school. The kids could come from 8 AM til 3 PM, and each period, a different group of students would come in to teach, play, and observe. After just 3 days with them, I decided I wouldn't be ready for kids for a very long time. They are cute and loveable, yes, but they can also be an outright pain in the ass!
A lot of people, I know my sister feels this way, have children because they feel they lack love in their life and having a child will fill that void, because children generally love their parents unconditionally. What they fail to realize is that children learn to love by being shown love.

Here's another great idea....let them supervise a bunch of screaming little kids at the McDonald's playland. I took my girls there for lunch today! LOL!!

Originally posted by psychocandy
A lot of people, I know my sister feels this way, have children because they feel they lack love in their life and having a child will fill that void, because children generally love their parents unconditionally. What they fail to realize is that children learn to love by being shown love.
TOO TRUE!!! I wish more people realized that kids are not relationship band-aids and they aren't toys that you dump off as soon as you're tired of playing with them.

As far as dirty kids go, I don't have a problem with a kid being a little dirty. I have taken my kid to the store with a stain on his shirt, and a couple times he even had a little dirt on his face from playing outside, and I was in too big of a hurry to notice it. If someone has a problem with seeing my kid that way, then they can damn well replace his clothes, because the boy is all boy, and he gets dirty. I used to be one of those moms who wiped their kid off every five minutes, but after three years of that crap, I let him win. :lol:

I realize that y'all are talking a different kind of dirt, and I agree, there isn't much of an excuse for that. I mean, even gas station bathrooms have water....wipe them off some. Now, the shoe thing was totally wrong.

It anger's me everytime I see these small children of 3 or 4 years old running around outside with no shoes on, half dressed and no parent around to supervise them and their allowed to have children and raise them this way, yet a woman friend of mine is fighting to keep custody of her kids because she called 9-1-1 to save her daughter from dying after the baby ingested her grandmothers pain medicine. My friend was jailed while her baby went to the hospital. DCFS took the children after that for a period of time and my friend just got them back after her last court date showed that there was no neglect, but still DCFS is doing inspections of her home until she is totally cleared by the courts. DCFS is putting up a big fight thought.

Children are always getting into something and you only need to turn your head for a split second and their in trouble. That happened to this friend and its been a nightmare for the past 5 months for her, yet the abusers and the parents who don't care what their children wear or are doing are left to continue their ways, so how is that fair for the parents who are trying to do good by their children and take the fall when some accident does happen to their kid?!:mad:

Well Val I'm glad you said that. We live in a coop and all the kids play together and they get dirty. They love sprinklers and mud :eek: but these kids also have parents around, suntan lotion on and someone is always passing out popsicles. I guess I'm lucky where we live to have a great group of parents.

My daughter used to sneak out of our back door -when we were making dinner was usually the witching hour. She got away with it twice before we bought a suspension lock for the sliding door and key bolt for our door. She's just a kid that is independent and has to explore - she loves to bolt. Its not easy staying on top of kids but it is so worth it. My son is 13 and is too old for a day program now. I don't want him hanging at the beach all summer though either ...trouble. I've got him volunteering for a few days a week. He's starting to like it.

I agree with you Milani, a little dirt (ice cream) is okay but what you are describing breaks my heart. It sounds like this person you described may be severely depressed...sleeping during the day not meeting basic needs. (she needs help) or she will never function. I don't think people should lose their kids if they just need the basics or need some help getting through a bad time. I've helped a good friend of mine... she lost her baby and she just wouldn't get out of bed. Her other two kids suffered but I don't hold anything against her. She's lucky she had friends and family who cared and helped and she is 100% better.

Jeez...it's depressing alright Milani. Depressing to think that we live in a world where this happens.

I guess it's one of my biggest challenges in life, coming to terms with a world where this sort of cruelty exists. I'm the kind of person that always tries to understand reasoning no matter what, but In these sorts of cases words just fail me.

Worrying isn't it, that this sort of thing goes on in society.

I am sure you guys knew that I didnt' mean that parents that allow their children to go out in public dirty are bad parents? There is a difference I am sure you guys know that. I was talking about filth.. down right dirty and neglect. I have three boys and they are 100% boys and they get dirty from time to time let me tell you. But you can tell the difference from a boy that gets a bit dirty then a child that has been neglected.
I am sorry if any one misunderstood me :(

I knew exactly what you meant Milani...there have been times when I dressed the girls in "park clothes" (you know, the kind where it doesn't matter if they get them stained or ripped while playing..) and remembered that I needed to run to the store while on that side of town (we live 7 miles from town) and had to take them to the store after playing. You find yourself saying louder than usual, "Did you girls have fun at the PARK walla go?" so people don't think that you take the kids everywhere looking like that. :) Or if they have had Dairy Queen and it got all over the place? I at least try to do a "spit bath" on them if that does happen.

Originally posted by LOSTNTHE80S
I at least try to do a "spit bath" on them if that does happen.
:lol: :lol: My son hates those. :lol: You know what I finally ended up doing? I bought a box of those moist baby wipes and I keep them under the car seat. I also learned to carry paper towels and tissues in the car. :lol: Why does it seem that ice cream goes everywhere but their mouths??? I think it's a conspiracy.

Milani I knew what you meant but I suddenly started thinking ...god my kids what are people thinking lol.

Okay not to be sexist but I've seen more kids with messy faces and dirty clothes (normal dirty) when out with Dad then when they are out with Mom or MOM and Dad lol. I'm not saying Dad's are lax I just think Mother's worry more about other people's impressions... speaking from experience.

I work at a newsstand in a local county office building, and it has the welfare department in it. I see some parents with their kids and the kids look really horrible. But the parents buy a pack of cigarettes while the kids are asking them to get them something to eat. The parents shout at the kids to shut up. Sometimes I feel like going up to them and tell them to not scream at their kids. But I can't, because of my line of work.
One time I was in the supermarket, and I overheard a mom yelling at her kid and a woman went over and tried to tell her not to do that and the mother of the child told her to "f" off and that she had no business telling her how to treat her kids. That was so sad to hear.
My late father worked for Child Protective Services, and he would see stuff that I can't say here, because it's too graphic. My Dad retired early, because he got burnt out. It took a lot out of him emotionally. I feel sad for those who work in the Child Protecitve Services, because the crap they have to go through. I was going to go into something like that, but I decided not to. And after working in the county office building I'm so glad I didn't go into the Human Services field. :)

Originally posted by Milani
I am sure you guys knew that I didnt' mean that parents that allow their children to go out in public dirty are bad parents? There is a difference I am sure you guys know that. I was talking about filth.. down right dirty and neglect. I have three boys and they are 100% boys and they get dirty from time to time let me tell you. But you can tell the difference from a boy that gets a bit dirty then a child that has been neglected.
I am sorry if any one misunderstood me :(

Ol' Chopper here did misunderstand you Milani.....but it was entirely his fault because he composed his reply before he appraised himself of the facts beforehand :rolleyes: :hammer:

Sorry!:goofy:

From a dad with a little girl, this makes me sick. I'd wear the same clothes everyday if it was the difference in my daughter having a fair start in life. Children have the rest of their lives to srew up if they CHOOSE, they don't need mom and dad doing it for them. This really steams me.....Don't get me started!:mad: :1pissed: :mad:

I feel the same way.
I have gone with out so my kids could have the decent things in life. I don't understand how parents can do that to their own flesh and blood. :rant:

Thank God for people like this on the xchange who REALLY care about your children! This is another reason why I like it here.