My friends gave me a scary reality check today. I was sitting on bus with my friends. I told them I felt neglected, because my best friend was sitting with her bf. I said I felt lonely as I watched them. My friend's bf said I could sit with them. I told them I wanted Dan, not to sit with them. Somedays, it hurts a lot, other days it's like "yeah, Dan's sooo incredibly beautiful". Today it was really bad. My friends said I HAD to ask him out considering I may not be here next year. And they're right, I should. I have all the chances to, but I don't. I'm very outgoing, but when it comes to love and relationships, I'm very shy. One of my friends, who's sorta friends with Dan said that he doesn't ask girls out. I don't ask guys out. :( But if I don't ask Dan out, it's going to be winks and hi's for me for the rest of my life.

I'll tell you right now Shortie, your worrying WAY too much about this. I've had several relationships since I was 14, and I constantly worried about having a chick back then. Now I just don't care that much.

I have had girls ask me out, but its rare. Very rare.

There's nothing wrong with turning the table around. I am incredibly shy as well. I think what kills it for most people is the rejection part.

About 2 years ago I was at a family restaurant with a bar and was sucking down an ale. This cute chick sat next to me and after a while, I tried to make small talk with her. She pretty much ignored most of what I said. Being a nice guy, I bought her a beer. She didn't even notice it! She went to pay her tab and the bartender said I bought it. Then she took out $3 from her purse and gave it back to me. I said to keep it. What a bitch! :mad: I never made any moves on her.

That killed it for me.

Besides the chick I'm with now, the last time I can honestly remember asking a chick on a date was in 93, that is when I met my daughters mother. I have been on some minor dates since then, but that was the last time I tried.

The deal is, when you try, it doesn't happen. You have to let nature work on its own. Things happen and don't happen for a reason.

I wanted to hook up with a chick last year in one of my classes. She wasn't exactly my type, but she was real nice. After several classes she mentioned a BAD habit she has: smoking. <bzzzzt> Next...

If you feel he is right for you, just go up to him and tell him you are interested. Don't bother slipping a note. Those are lame. Notes aren't interactive. If you tell him you like him, hes a stud, and you want to ride the hobby horse (ok maybe that's going a little too far :lol: ), maybe his reaction will be good.

The worst thing he can say is no. Then what have you lost? Most people have enough dignity they won't say "to hell you, your dumb as a mule and twice as ugly", but will at least say no in a nice way. (I'm not saying your dumb and ugly, I just think the saying is funny)

I'm not saying he will reject you. I have no idea.

Here's a good example of taking chances: last week my g/f got royally screwed at her job. They canned her over TOTAL B.S. She wasn't trying real hard to find a new job. I finally got sick of it and I rode her REAL hard to about getting another job. I stayed on the phone about 15 minutes telling her to check elsewhere. I even offered to take her. I told her to at least go down to the local grocery store and see if they are hiring. They have no help wanted signs up. The worst thing they could have said is they don't have any positions. So what happened? She went down there, applied, and got a job the same day!

You never know whats going to happen until you try. The deal is, you will kick yourself in the a$$ later if you don't try. I mean, imagine if later on you found out from another source that this guy did like you, but now he's with something else? Then you might be thinking "damn... I had a chance and I blew it."

Listen to your heart. Sleep on the thought for a night. Be prepared for a possible rejection, that way if he does reject you, then you are prepared for it. Maybe he will be flattered.

The point is, you don't know until you try.

You never fail at asking someone out. If the other person says no, its not a put down, but perhaps there is a reason. Maybe that person recently got out of a relationship and needs time to themself, maybe you two aren't compatible. It could be anything.

Being told no hurts, but its not the end of the world. There are MILLIONS of people out there. Don't just hold on to one. Keep your horizons open. Don't settle for less.

Don't spend your nights worrying about it. When you see him, if you want to spend time together, just go right up and ask. Don't screw around, just walk right up and say "hey <his name>, I just wanted to talk to you for a little while... are you busy?" Let the conversation flow naturally. And most importantly: BE YOURSELF. Don't be anybody but yourself. You aren't out to impress the world, you are showing your true colors. If he doesn't accept that, then move on.

Relationships aren't everything. I used to get real depressed seeing other couples when I was single. You are only seeing the glamour, not the fighting and arguing. And when anybody says "we never fight or argue", they are lying. Everybody has arguments at some point in their relationship.

Just remember my key points: You don't know until you try. The worst he can say is no. But you will never know if you don't go up and ask.

Anyway, that's my advice to you.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with a woman asking a guy out! Being shy is a hard thing, but being lonely is even harder. Don't live with regrets. Take the chance. :)

I agree with them.
It is okay to ask a guy out.. but I just now got the courage to do it. In high school I would never imagine asking a guy out. So take your time if it was meant to be then it will be. Just relax and enjoy life.. their will be other men in your life trust me.

Ask him out, girl. Life is full of what if's and there is no reason to add to that pile if you have the chance. Believe me when I say, being rejected is far better than wondering what if for a long period of your life.

You know, the people you have in your signature lived life to the full. I hope you do that too. There is so much fun out there for girls who take chances. Go for it, Shortie Blonde. :thumb: :)

He knows I like him, I think I've told that story before. I think it's changed how he sees me, but I don't think he cares. And I'm done doing after school-locker mischief, so don't worry about me writing notes to him. :lol:

The problem with talking to him, is he's always around friends or busy with something when I see him. I'm not going to start talking to him while he's with friends. They're not punk like him, but they're evil. :devil:

Well Shortie, the longer you wait to talk to him, the less time you will have to make your moves.

I know the feeling first hand of trying to talk to someone and that person is always surrounded by their friends. It isn't hard for me now, but when I was a teen it was.

I can think of several chicks I wanted to get to know, but they were ALWAYS hanging around with their friends, and the last thing I wanted to do was go up to the chick I liked and make idle conversation with her friends hanging around. It's nerve racking.

Well its not going to happen on its own. This guy can't always be around his friends.

Early in the morning or just before going home are good times. Eventually they will part ways. Timing is everything.

I didn't do much asking out in high school. There was one chick I remember who was an absolute doll. I finally got up the guts one day to ask her if she wanted to go to lunch with me. She said her parents would be upset if they found out (1. how in the hell would they find out? we're at SCHOOL, and 2. that's a fairly nice way to say hell no), and we left it at that. I came to find out later that she was VERY stuck up. Glad that didn't work out.

It can be scary, but like we have all said, you will never know unless you try. Bite your tongue, build up some guts, and go talk to him. Who cares what his friends think? They might make some nasty comments, but thats their problem.

So anyway, you can find him by himself. Definitely in the bathroom, but thats not the best first choice. :lol:

Look for him before or right after school. Even if hes with his friends, go up to him anyway. Just ask him if he has some time to talk to you. Most of the time if the guy says yes, his friends will get the picture that you two want to be alone, and they will leave.

You won't know unless you try. And one thing is for sure: nothing will happen unless you give it a shot.

You just never know what will transpire....you got nothing to lose. The worst he can do is say no.

Even if he does say no and hes not interested, it certainly isn't the end of the world. I've been rejected many times, and while it does hurt, life goes on. There will always be people who accept you and those who don't. Don't let it get to you. The sea is pretty big and its full of fish. (Translation: there's a hell of a lot of single guys out there besides him)

Relationships usually happen when your not looking.

The chick I'm with now I didn't even know was single. When we first met at new years 2000, she was there with her b/f. I knew they were dating though. 3 months later (or so), she was living with my best friend and I thought they were dating. He mentioned something along the lines that she was interested in me. I thought he was feeding me a line, but I was old enough that a rejection wouldn't bother me.

He didn't have a phone, so we talked via ICQ. I flat out asked her if the rumors were true. Hell even if they weren't, I can take a rejection. She said they were true. I could have just as easily called and ask her, except...he didn't have a phone. I would have even drove over there and asked in person, but I didn't want to drive 30 miles to ask a simple question. I wasn't that worried.

This is why I tell you not to be embarrassed. Just go ask.

You won't know until you try.

Everytime I make myself determined, I'm only determined until I see him. He brings me to my knees!!! :lol: :o I was determined today, and there was no improv. When I determine myself, either I chicken out or something happens and he's not at improv or there's no improv.

Shortie, take it from me, you don't want to let the opportunity pass you by. I knew a guy almost 15 years ago, I liked him, everyone said he liked me. I never asked, he never asked... I still wonder from timer to time.
Seven years ago, I met another great guy at work. I liked him, so I sucked it up and asked. We're still together.
If you go for it and it doesn't work out, at least you'll have tried and you won't have that nagging feeling wondering what would have happened. Besides, you sound like a kick @ss girl, and if Dan doesn't like you, he's nuts!

Just go for it, sweetie!! ( I know you hate that, but "Punky" sounds silly!!)

When I was a sophomore, I was in a creative writing class with all seniors. I had a crush on this cute, hot, sweet guy, Jim. (Barber. MMMmmmmmmmmm....still think of him!!!) But, he was painfully shy. I knew that he liked me, and I was just as shy as he was, at least back then. I finally scrounged up the courage to ask him to the Valentine's Dance. He said no, because at the time, he didn't have his DL. (Long story.) I was CRUSHED! I guess I cried to the right person, because 2 days later, he called me and asked ME. We ended up doubling with his best friend and his girlfriend, who was in my class.

We only went out that one time, but we did remain friends until he moved out to LA back in '95.

Just goes to show you...he may reject at first, either to save face or something, but he may corner you when he's alone.


{{{{HUG}}}}

Well Shortie, enough people have given you advice. You are going to do what you want to do. Nobody can make you ask him. This is a decision you will have to make.

You are running low on time and you need to make a decision, so you might ask yourself these questions:

1) How much do you really like him? On a 1-10 scale? 1=naaa he's a nerd, 10=I want to ride him like a bucking horse. Do you like him so much you are willing to risk a *possible* no answer?

2) Can you live with the fact that if you DON'T ask him and you later on (perhaps years down the road) find out he really wanted to be with you, but now you are both with someone else, that you gave up a big opporunity?

3) How long are you willing to let yourself stress over it? If you want to ask him out, do it. Simple as that. Quit thinking about it and make it a reality!

Remember this shortie: if you DON'T ask him, there is one definite outcome: you will never know.

Even if he does say no, it is NOT the end of the world. BUT... you don't know. You haven't tried. The worst he can say is no.

You have nothing to lose, and everything to gain. But wait... if he says no, how do you gain? Because you now have an answer. There is no more guessing. Now you know! If he says yes, you know what?? You spent all that time worrying about it when he was just waiting for you to make the first move.

There's no shame in trying. Bite your tongue and give it a shot.

Think positively and you can make it! Don't wait any longer. Just want straight up to him. When you are walking up to him, think about something else. Don't think "what will I say?", think about other things. Sounds stupid, but it works. Then when you get up to him, be yourself. That's the best you can be.

Let us know what you decide! :thumb:

Originally posted by DD86
Just go for it, sweetie!! ( I know you hate that, but "Punky" sounds silly!!)


Nah, sweetie doesn't bother me...it's that CUTE word. :yucky: But cutie is nice though...lol. :lol:

<stumbles off as she sees Dan...> Some how, maybe after a NICE LONG talk with Ted...I'll rack up courage and talk to him tomorrow. :D :o

So, lol, if 10=I wanna ride him like a bucking horse...could I go with 9.9? :lol:

Good luck, Shortie. Will you kick some sense into her, Ted? :) ;)

<sighs, walks in slowly, looking down> I didn't talk to him. I was waiting for the perfect time. :cry: :( <hides face>

- bow over Shortie - Done all your homework ???? Good ....... okay let's have a chat about the things of life ...... well no, ....... I can't really believe it took you so long..... well anyway, I'm behind you 100 % as a lot of people, just let us know how it turns out !!!

TGND " Gabba Gabba Hey rally cry ........ !!!!"

I understand that you are shy and want to wait for the right time, but I have my doubts that is going to happen.

The right time might never happen. You need to talk right up to him and say somethng.

Days turn into week and weeks turn into months. I would say your time is running out fast. You need to do something, and do it quick.

It's now or never. Nobody is stopping you. If you keep waiting around and only wait for the perfect time, then you will likely never find out. The perfect time rarely happens. You just have to make your moves and do it soon.

Shortie, the right time doesn't just happen very often. You're gonna hafta make it happen. And you CAN do it. Best wishes.

I know what I have to do, I *think* I know how, but I don't know when to.

And I know that all these people here are behind me, I can tell when. :lol: Like when I actaully say hi to him, and when I play a game with him. ..I know you guys (especially TGND) are pushing me into it and I swear, that I looked behind me while I was doing these things...if I looked hard enough, I just might be able to see you. I love the xchange for that reason (well that's one of them).

Shortie-cutie, we -gotta- have a talk bout this bloke. Heh. Seems like a lot has been goin on since I went on holiday. ;) An while I ain't one to dispense advice - just look at -my- bloody love life. Xandra completely -loathed- me when we met, an now I'm happily chained to her. ;) If I can take a beatin almost every time I see the lovely I adore, you can talk ta Dan. Chin up, eyes shut, mouth open, wot? [grin]

I don't even think you've found the worst of it yet Rebel. But you did miss a hell of a lot. Don't worry though, Ted took care of me. :)

Originally posted by Shortie Blonde
Don't worry though, Ted took care of me. :)

I tried, but you kept biting me whenever I got too close. :D

Originally posted by Ted Nugent


I tried, but you kept biting me whenever I got too close. :D

Well don't try to help with that Ted. geez ;)

100 ù behind you as always ..... wow I'm one champion of a big brother ... anyway .... the change in your sig really pleased me so ........ I guess npbpdy knows better than you what you need ... but we sure do know you need encouragements to get there .....

TGND " Okay, I'm truly sorry but , you'll have to make your bad and clean your room. I swear it's for your own good. Otherwise I'd gladly do it for you ! "

Originally posted by That Guy Next Door

TGND " Okay, I'm truly sorry but , you'll have to make your bad and clean your room. I swear it's for your own good. Otherwise I'd gladly do it for you ! "

:D "do I have to? Mmmm..." :mad: