Affairs were big in the 80's. From our Politicians to our favorite t.v. shows. It always amazed me how the married person never got in any trouble for this. It was always the " Other Women/Man" who got racked across the coals.

So here's my question. Who should be held more accountable. The Married person or the "Other Woman/Man"

The married person. He or she is the one who is committed to another person. Married people have no excuses for messing around. Marriage is a very sacred institution in my opinion. If you want to be with someone else, then you should get a divorce instead of running from you vows and commitments.

The Married Person...sometimes there are situations were the other person has absolutley no idea that they are married..or they might say that they are separated. Once they do find out and if they continue the affair..then I think that they are just as guilty.

Originally posted by LOSTNTHE80S
Once they do find out and if they continue the affair..then I think that they are just as guilty.

Exactally!;)

Very ironic poll...

Just to add....there's also the situation where the 'other man/woman' takes advantage of a bad situation (marriage in need of repair, husband or wife in a vulnerable state, etc.) and attempts to steal the husband/wife away from their significant other....then the 'other' is the guiltier party I think...

Ultimately they're both at fault though...

Definitely the married person. People need to own up to their own responsibilities rather than pushing the blame on someone else...

I couldn't vote for either. Sure, if the married person is hiding the fact they are married, then they should be held accountable. But both parties are equally as guilty as far as I can see. The married one for breaking their vows and the unmarried one for getting involved with a married person. You know the old saying, "it takes two to tango".

I don't know...I think it depends on the situation. But, generally, I think both should be held equally accountable.

Originally posted by Recker
I couldn't vote for either. Sure, if the married person is hiding the fact they are married, then they should be held accountable. But both parties are equally as guilty as far as I can see. The married one for breaking their vows and the unmarried one for getting involved with a married person. You know the old saying, "it takes two to tango".

That is how I feel. Both parties are guilty. A married person has no business cheating. A unmarried one has no business getting involved with a married person. I don't care even if that person is having problems in their marriage. If they get a divorce later down the line then fine.

We are all responsible for our own actions - Married or not. I couldn't vote either.

I voted the married person, after all they're the one who made the committment and they should honor it! The single person has nothing to lose, except maybe self respect, and that's taking into consideration that the married person made it known to the single person he/she is having the affair with. It's not always so cut and dry, the cheating individual does lie to the other person as well to get what they want.

"Who should be held more accountable for an affair?"

I can't vote on this one because you don't have an "other" choice. They both should be held accountable! It takes two to make an affair. The only time that would change is if the other woman/man did not know they were with a married person. But if they both know, then they both share in the blame!!!

I think the married person should be held more accountable. He/she should stick to the commitment he/she made.
Of course I wouldn't want to get me into the situation being the other woman seducing a married guy as I do not tolerate cheating. But in the end it is still up to the married part to say no, no matter how strong the temptation might be.

Difficult question. They are both certainly at fault, however only the married person has broken a promise to another.

I voted for the Married Person.
Why you ask well I will tell you :D

1. The other party has not made commitments to another.
2. The married person shouldn't persue someone if they are married.
3. The other person is not breaking any vows.
4. THe married person could have made promises to the other party to get them to be with them. ( Men who are not happy in their marriage will find someone else regardless.. and to get her they make many promises that will never come true. )


I believe that once a cheater always a cheater. :p
I will never marry a man who has cheated on his wife NEVER :eek: Because what will stop him from cheating on you :rolleyes:

I agree totally with Milani's reasons.

Yes, both people are accountable for their actions, but the married one has made a commitment and is not free to be pusuing an affair in the first place.

Yes, both people are accountable for their actions, but the married one has made a commitment and is not free to be pusuing an affair in the first place.

^5 ABC!
Thank you for agreeing with me girl!!!

Married person, definitely. They can be tempted but its up to them to step over the line!

The married one of course, but if the other new the first was married then shame on them as well.

The married person. If my husband strayed, I would only blame the other woman if she knew he was married and did it anyway. The truth is, She didn't promise me a darn thing, He did.

BTW, I did tell him it had better be true love if he cheats, because once I'm done with the ball bat they'll both be so damn ugly no one else will want them. :lol:

i disagree with a few people. everyone involved is equal to blame. if you are in a marriage you made a commitment that is true but just because you didnt say"i do"doesnt makes you imune. if you realize someone is married and you are the "other person" you should be man or woman enough to face consequences from your actions.

i have been there(almost) but when i realized how i would feel, i didnt let it happen.

If the non-married person knows that the other is married then they're equally responsible. Back in my single days (when the dinosaurs still roamed the earth) I was involved with a married woman who told me that she was in the process of getting a divorce. Turns out she wasn't and she wound up getting back with him. But that doesn't take away any of the blame from me because I knew she was married. I should have waited to see what her true intentions were before I got involved. Shame on me for that. :tsk:

The Married person is ALWAYS to blame. ALWAYS. They are the ones who are legally and supposedly morally obligated.

'Both' are guilty. It takes two to tango. I do feel, however, that the married person is more accountable, as he or she committed their life to their spouse. If he or she didn't want to be with only one person, then he/she shouldn't have married.

I have personal issues with this, a VERY close relative of mine is having an affair with a married man, I feel that both parties are to blame for an affiar, but only when the "other" person knows that a family is being torn up! If the married person doesn't tell them, then it is just as devastating for the "other" person as it is for the spouse being cheated on. :yesnod:

Both are responsible for thier dispicable behavior. But more so the married person who is suppose to be commited to thier spouce. If both are married to other people double doo-doo. No excuses, there is NEVER a good reason or an exceptable excuse to cheat. :tsk:

'The Married Person' no question

Both are responsible for thier dispicable behavior. But more so the married person who is suppose to be commited to thier spouce. If both are married to other people double doo-doo. No excuses, there is NEVER a good reason or an exceptable excuse to cheat. :tsk:

KerriBerri you took the words right out of my mouth or rather my fingers!

My ex cheated on me and theres not a bigger hurt in the world than to have some one cheat on you and break the the trust you had with each other. My heart goes out to anyone who had that done to them.

Their both responsible. But the married person is more to blame, they're the one breaking the vows. The single person has no obligations or ties to anyone.

the married person definitely

The married person.

Looks like the overwhelming response is that the married person is to blame. I have to agree.

The married party should be held accountable for the affair,

I couldn't vote for either. Sure, if the married person is hiding the fact they are married, then they should be held accountable. But both parties are equally as guilty as far as I can see. The married one for breaking their vows and the unmarried one for getting involved with a married person. You know the old saying, "it takes two to tango".
My sentiment exactly !!!!! I think that if the 'other person' knows that they are with a married person, and continue the relationship anyway then they are equally to blame. A married person who is not happy in their relationship with their spouse should try to work it out or simply get out of the relationship altogether.

The married person is to blame.

I originally replied to this poll about 3 years ago...but I've changed my mind. At the time, I replied that both were equally accountable. While I still think this is true to an extent, I think the married person is more at fault. They should be able to resist temptation and honor the committment they made. The other woman/man is not obligated to stay faithful to anyone - they should not have to be the bigger/stronger person and say 'no'. That is the job of the married person, in my opinion.

I'd have to agree that the married man/woman is to blame. Cheating on your spouse is just plain wrong- no ifs, ands, or buts about it. Maybe it's because I spend way too much time watching Jerry Springer, but I feel that every excuse a married person gives for cheating on their spouse is LAME! You get excuses like, "Well he just wasn't fulfiling me in bed," "She just doesn't losk as good as she used to", "I don't feel it's natural to be monogamous", bs like that. I don't care if she has no fashion sense and he smells bad, they should get a divorce before they decide to start cheating.

Now if the other person knows the person they're with is married, they are just as guilty in my book. It's one thing to be led to believe that the person you're with is in fact single or divorced. It's quite another for the knowledge to be there that this person has a spouse, and proceed regardless.

The married person!

The Married Person should. Their the ones breaking their vows and deceiving their partner.

Gotta' agree w/ most - the married person KNOWS they are married :frypan: - the other may not. Once you find out someone is married though :tsk: :6ohboy: how can you trust them. If they're cheating on someone they're committed to, what's to keep them from cheating on YOU?!