TopCat
3-20-02, 07:52 AM
Thought the death metal fans would get a kick out of this. :p Tuscon, Arizona-based Silicavista, a publicly-held software and design firm, has released the world's first death-metal-to-English translation software for Windows-based computers. "Unmangler" version 1.0 will be released September 13 with a suggested retail price of $59.95.
CEO Matt Jacoby said in a press release that "as the underground extreme music scene grows, we're seeing a lot more people who've spent so much time playing in, or listening to, brutal death metal bands, they've lost their
ability to communicate with the non-underground world. Their only source of news becomes Xeroxed fanzines, and their sole social outlet is the mosh pit. Our software will enable
these people to re-enter society at their own pace."
The software is simple to use: the user speaks a sentence into a microphone, which is decoded and translated, then recited back in English. For example, barking the following phrase into the mic in a guttural tone:
"A purulent haemmorhage of saline excreta doth cast down
the visage of the whore."
Was translated by the software as:
"My mother was crying."
And:
"Laughingly ingest the mangled and seared embryos, sever
the strips of porcine flesh, burn them to crisps with maniacal glee, consign the mudiferous quadruped to death."
becomes:
"Would you like some scrambled eggs and bacon?"
Jacoby points out that the software works both ways, enabling anyone to instantly write death metal lyrics "simply by saying common, ordinary things into the
Unmangler software." Thus, "smile!" becomes:
"Endure a muscular-skeletal rictus reaction, annihilating despair, exposing gleaming incisors"
To further demonstrate the Unmangler software's capabilities, Jacoby recited the lyrics to R.E.M.'s "Shiny Happy People" into the mic (see chart below). "As you can see, Unmangler even
creates, and translates, the nonsensical made-up words many death metal bands use when the English language just isn't gory enough as-is."
Death metal scenesters reacted to the news with grunts, growls and unearthly shrieks of gratitude. Rich Lipscomb, of United Guttural Records (home of Lividity, Ton, Rotting and Malignancy), said "many of the artists on my label have been speaking in death metal terminology for so long, they
can no longer hold jobs or function in the mainstream. Most of them are on public assistance, or making a meager living from t-shirt sales. Being able to communicate with the world at large will help them regain their self-esteem, become self-sufficient, and vastly improve the quality of their lives."
"What can I say? This makes me happy as a guts****ing necrovore at a putrid mass gravesite."
- Keith Bergman
"SHINY HAPPY PEOPLE"
(Berry/Buck/Mills/Stipe) Night Garden Music (BMI)
ORIGINAL VERSION
TRANSLATED BY 'UNMANGLER'
Shiny happy people laughing
Meet me in the crowd
People people
Throw your love around
Love me love me
Take it into town
Happy happy
Put it in the ground
Where the flowers grow
Gold and silver shine
Shiny happy people holding hands
Shiny happy people laughing
Everyone around love them, love them
Put it in your hands
Take it take it
There’s no time to cry
Happy happy
Put it in your heart
Where tomorrow shines
Gold and silver shine
Shiny happy people holding hands
Shiny happy people laughing
DEATH METAL TRANSULATION:
Luminescent, gleeful corpses cackling
Impale thyself to me in a seething mob
Of useless ****ing humans
Splatter your seed indiscriminately
Impregnate me malignantly
Drag it into the populace
Maniacal ecstasy
Bury it with disangerment
Where the corpses rot
Gold and silver shine…
Luminescent gleeful corpses, limbs obscenely entwined
Luminescent gleeful mother****ing corpses!!!!!!!!!!
[lead break]
All these ****-aguous ****s, kill them, kill them
Grasp it in your gore-slimed fingers
Pillage and steal it
Show no ****ing weakness
Only maniacal ecstacy
Plunge it into your quivering chest
As the slick blood-spattered viscera of your innards shine
Gold and silver shine…
Luminescent gleeful corpses, limbs obscenely entwined
Luminescent gleeful mother****ing corpses!!!!!!!!!!
----------------------------
:lol:
CEO Matt Jacoby said in a press release that "as the underground extreme music scene grows, we're seeing a lot more people who've spent so much time playing in, or listening to, brutal death metal bands, they've lost their
ability to communicate with the non-underground world. Their only source of news becomes Xeroxed fanzines, and their sole social outlet is the mosh pit. Our software will enable
these people to re-enter society at their own pace."
The software is simple to use: the user speaks a sentence into a microphone, which is decoded and translated, then recited back in English. For example, barking the following phrase into the mic in a guttural tone:
"A purulent haemmorhage of saline excreta doth cast down
the visage of the whore."
Was translated by the software as:
"My mother was crying."
And:
"Laughingly ingest the mangled and seared embryos, sever
the strips of porcine flesh, burn them to crisps with maniacal glee, consign the mudiferous quadruped to death."
becomes:
"Would you like some scrambled eggs and bacon?"
Jacoby points out that the software works both ways, enabling anyone to instantly write death metal lyrics "simply by saying common, ordinary things into the
Unmangler software." Thus, "smile!" becomes:
"Endure a muscular-skeletal rictus reaction, annihilating despair, exposing gleaming incisors"
To further demonstrate the Unmangler software's capabilities, Jacoby recited the lyrics to R.E.M.'s "Shiny Happy People" into the mic (see chart below). "As you can see, Unmangler even
creates, and translates, the nonsensical made-up words many death metal bands use when the English language just isn't gory enough as-is."
Death metal scenesters reacted to the news with grunts, growls and unearthly shrieks of gratitude. Rich Lipscomb, of United Guttural Records (home of Lividity, Ton, Rotting and Malignancy), said "many of the artists on my label have been speaking in death metal terminology for so long, they
can no longer hold jobs or function in the mainstream. Most of them are on public assistance, or making a meager living from t-shirt sales. Being able to communicate with the world at large will help them regain their self-esteem, become self-sufficient, and vastly improve the quality of their lives."
"What can I say? This makes me happy as a guts****ing necrovore at a putrid mass gravesite."
- Keith Bergman
"SHINY HAPPY PEOPLE"
(Berry/Buck/Mills/Stipe) Night Garden Music (BMI)
ORIGINAL VERSION
TRANSLATED BY 'UNMANGLER'
Shiny happy people laughing
Meet me in the crowd
People people
Throw your love around
Love me love me
Take it into town
Happy happy
Put it in the ground
Where the flowers grow
Gold and silver shine
Shiny happy people holding hands
Shiny happy people laughing
Everyone around love them, love them
Put it in your hands
Take it take it
There’s no time to cry
Happy happy
Put it in your heart
Where tomorrow shines
Gold and silver shine
Shiny happy people holding hands
Shiny happy people laughing
DEATH METAL TRANSULATION:
Luminescent, gleeful corpses cackling
Impale thyself to me in a seething mob
Of useless ****ing humans
Splatter your seed indiscriminately
Impregnate me malignantly
Drag it into the populace
Maniacal ecstasy
Bury it with disangerment
Where the corpses rot
Gold and silver shine…
Luminescent gleeful corpses, limbs obscenely entwined
Luminescent gleeful mother****ing corpses!!!!!!!!!!
[lead break]
All these ****-aguous ****s, kill them, kill them
Grasp it in your gore-slimed fingers
Pillage and steal it
Show no ****ing weakness
Only maniacal ecstacy
Plunge it into your quivering chest
As the slick blood-spattered viscera of your innards shine
Gold and silver shine…
Luminescent gleeful corpses, limbs obscenely entwined
Luminescent gleeful mother****ing corpses!!!!!!!!!!
----------------------------
:lol: