Okay, my dear friends, enemies or just anyone.. :p
I need some dating advice, I have been out of the single loop for 6 years now.

I am finally going out tonight for the first time with some friends to a bar. A friend might set me up with a blind date:eek: But yet he might be busy who knows?

So what does a single women wear? I don't want to seem to eager to get attention. So should I throw away the mini skirt and see through shirt?;)

Do women approach men at a bar?

What is a sign that a guy is interested? Back in the day if men were interested in you they would just throw themselves at your feet:lol:

Underwear or not? :lol:

How about you go for a seductive, yet sophisticated look Milani?

Maybe a long black stretchy skirt or trousers that show off your curves - with something a little see-through underneath a leather jacket perhaps?

Oh and underwear is a definate no-no of course... :D

Good luck and have fun! Don't forget, it's all in the eyes....

:lol: Do you see how i just threw in the underwear question? :lol:

Thank you Chopper.. i am going to go buy it after work.
But the bad thing is,, this is a redneck bar. Should I still dress like that?
OH well I am going to give it a try.

:lol: curves? :lol:
I wish i had some:D

don't forget eye contact.. if you see a guy you like, give him some eye contact, or else he wouldn't know if your intrested in him.. don't move to fast, not unless you want him to get a negative thought of you, or make it seem like its a one night stand.. sometimes if I woman gives the first touch, like your hand on his leg, that might be enough for him to understand that you want something.. don't forget to smile when he looks at you and maybe beckon him, like will it should be up to you on how you want first impressions.. hehehe.. you could beckon him with your tongue.. or your hand.. lets see..mmm.. show some leg.. black stockings are good.. and keep the mini short.. so the man doesn't have to use that imagination, you know about men, hardly no imagination so they need some clues :p
when you flirt don't forget eye contact and maybe some touch.. not like hugging or grabbing things, you want the elegant approuch.. maybe a gently grace of your hand along his side, or his arm.. or even his leg.. my favorite is when a lady takes her hand and runs it along my cheek and keeps eye contact with me..
Don't give false signs, because you don't want him to mess up with his sign reading.. and then he'll be to embarresed.. like really know what you want, a one night stand or long term.. cause if he mistakens that you want a one night stand, when you want a long term.. that well mess him up and lose intrest in you fast.. when you dance be close.. I mean close.. feel him.. that really arouses some romantics.. those non romantics don't require much.. just a simple whisper in their ear.. like "Lets go to my place for something." would be enough too.. oh my.. this is alot of advice from a guy!!!!!! I must be gay or something!!!! aaaahhhhh :eek: :vibrator: :goofy:
Good luck :hammer:

Blue wow that was some advice.. thank you very much. But is it good to touch any part of his body on the first night
*acts like she has never done that before*
So it is all about flirting? I don't know how to do that :lol:
I can flirt on the computer.. but when it comes to actuall one on one flirting I shy up
SERIOUSLY DON'T LAUGH!!!

Just act yourself, be shy.. maybe not to drastic of touching, like maybe his hand.. but defently his cheek and eye contact.. alot of guys like shy people.. mmm... I know I do :p maybe a soft seductive kiss on his lips.. I know that won me over many a times.. but that doesn't really work without eye contact.. eye contact.. eye contact.. and some perfume.. not alot.. just a soft smell.. like the only people that can smell you is those that are 6 inches from you.. you don't want alot.. not to fill up the room.. or a foot away.. just a bit, a little dab.. it makes a man intrested.. he takes a smell from far away, he notices you smell something, but he does no what.. so he has to come close to smell you.. its like a reward when he gets close, like dancing close to smell the perfume..

I didn't go out last night. For three reasons...
First - My friend said that the babysitter was going to be a man.. sorry but that just doesn't fly with me.
Second - The guy she was going to set me up with was a LOOSER
Thirdly - I had a better offer... i enjoyed chatting on line with someone special.

We are going to go out Friday or Saturday night. SO I will keep those pointers in mind.

Sorry your date didn't work out, Milani. I know it is hard getting back into the game after a long time away from it. Just be yourself though. The worst part about dating someone is finding out they are not who they initially presented themselves to be. Your a great woman and some guy out there is probably dying to meet someone like you. :)

Guys get turned off by a women like me :rolleyes: They can't stand my honesty. :mad:
I am dieing to go out!!!!
Any one need a date for the weekend:lol:

*looks at profile* Kentucky huh? If I leave now......:lol: J/K

hmmm kentucky is a loooonnnngggg way away.......

i feel it's better to be honest and risk not turning on your date than doing or saying stuff you don't normally do...

and don't go to the movies on the first date!

Well it has been a week since i posted this and I still haven't had a date. Been asked out alot but they just don't seem my type. I have been asked to skip dinner and the movie and just go...
:eek:
I am desperate but not that desperate. :lol:

Why shouldn't I go to the movies on a first date?

umm..good question about the movie.. the only thing I can see is, that the arguement of what type of movie.. you might like a movie and he falls asleep because of it.. Trust me that happens *raises his hand up* I fell asleep on a movie date.. umm.. its hard to put the moves on the person with that chair arm in the way :p
The darkness is good ;) :p just make sure its not crowded.. I remember those times in a planetiurm when it was all nice and dark..
No other clue why no movie date? tell us Space Invader!!! Why?!?!?!

well...you should try to get to know the person you're dating
you don't tend to talk while watching a movie

it'd be ok tho if both of you had seen the movie before....

that's a good point there blueomega...i know i am VERY fussy about movies

personally i prefer going out for lunch or go shopping (i don't mind wandering aimlessly around the shops :eek: ) or do something fun like rollerblading

on my last date i went out to see a live show...same problem...and i knew it would be but she really really really wanted to go to it...needless to say the relationship was doomed from the start :(

I am sorry your last reltionship didn't work out.
I don't like going out to movies much!! The only reason I would go to the movies would be for .. :eek: I love to see what I can get away with in there!!!:lol:

yeah, that's why both of you should have seen the movie ;)

my last date didn't work out, but my friend who set us up has another cousin to set me up with...and she reckons shes even better looking:D :D :D (now that will be interesting to see... i had no complaints about my last date...well....maybe a little taller woulda been nice but i'm getting extremely fussy here :cool: )

You really can't be fussy with blind dates.

I am going to go out on a date tonight. My brother is setting me up with a buddy of his. He seems nice enough but can he be nice after a few beers?
We went out of town to buy somethings for tonight. I bought a nice LEATHER OUTFIT!!!!
We are going to go dancing and to a nice restaurant, I personally said no movies.. thanks to your advice.
I hope things will work out. I will just be my pleasant self and see where it takes me.

Good luck Milani - just be yourself and have fun - don't worry so much :) most guys would be smitten by you

hope it goes well...i'm sure he'll be impressed by the leather outfit :cool:

HOW DO YOU SINGLE PEOPLE DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hate being single.. there is to much to know and do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We all went out of town and just walked around the mall, he was a LOSER!!!!!!!!

He just talked about his truck, and kept bragging about all the money he makes. Then has the balls to try and get me to sleep with him:eek: in my brothers truck:eek: now how tacky is this? Do all single men just come right out and ask:rolleyes:
After that question I just started acting like myself.
My brothers girlfriend and I almost got kicked out of a store.. :lol:
We didn't want to wait for the line for the fitting rooms. So we both just shared one... :lol: you should have seen those peoples eyes:eek: Then Brian (my so called date) walked in on us!!
It was @ss whoppin time:lol:

On the drive back he chilled out, because he knew he wasn't going to get any. He actually turned out to be a cool guy. He held my hand and we chatted.

Men can be cool if they just put their guard down and chill:lol:

OK, the obvious question is, if he was such a creep that he would try to get you to screw him in the truck, and would walk in on you, WHY WOULD YOU HOLD HIS HAND? Seems like a retarded thing to do, but if he is such a loser (and he does sound like one) I wouldnt even let him touch your hand, let alone sit and HOLD it.

Movies suck because you cant talk, and then if you both get bored at the movies, you cant really get up and leave without wasting 12 bucks. (or more). Good first date is LUNCH. A lunch date has no pressure, gets a nice meal out of the deal, and you can gague if the guy really is interesting WITHOUT a few beers in his system. Its a great way to get to know somebody. plus for some reason, lunch doesnt seem as stressful as a dinner date. Maybe that is what you need!
See, free advice from the MANWHORE!

Originally posted by Jasper
OK, the obvious question is, if he was such a creep that he would try to get you to screw him in the truck, and would walk in on you, WHY WOULD YOU HOLD HIS HAND? Seems like a retarded thing to do, but if he is such a loser (and he does sound like one) I wouldnt even let him touch your hand, let alone sit and HOLD it.

Movies suck because you cant talk, and then if you both get bored at the movies, you cant really get up and leave without wasting 12 bucks. (or more). Good first date is LUNCH. A lunch date has no pressure, gets a nice meal out of the deal, and you can gague if the guy really is interesting WITHOUT a few beers in his system. Its a great way to get to know somebody. plus for some reason, lunch doesnt seem as stressful as a dinner date. Maybe that is what you need!
See, free advice from the MANWHORE!

u must be a pro:eek:
couldn't agree with you more..lunch is the go;)
SO WHERE'S MY NEXT HOT DATE? :confused:

o well at least milani found out quick that he wasn't the right guy for her.....

OK, the obvious question is, if he was such a creep that he would try to get you to screw him in the truck, and would walk in on you, WHY WOULD YOU HOLD HIS HAND? Seems like a retarded thing to do, but if he is such a loser (and he does sound like one) I wouldnt even let him touch your hand, let alone sit and HOLD it.



- you are right BIG BROTHER:lol:
You have to remember I am new to this dating scene.. i am not a pro like yourself.. (manwhore) If a women would have asked you to do her in her vehicle on the first date you would have jumped on that woudln't you? :lol:

One question if you asked a women that on the first date.. and she said hell no.. would you just leave her there? Or would you want to patch things up with her and become her friend? It would have been rude if he just ignored me after that. But he didn't. We talked and he was a nice guy after all. I wasn't stupid for holding his hand I was a lady by doing so... so suck my butt Japser.. :lol:

Space - you are a great guy.
So when can you and I go out? :lol:
:goofy:

I know the feeling first hand Milani. I was single for over 5 years, and had zero success. I tried a couple of dating services and they were a joke. There is another local service to me called Events And Adventures. They won't tell their fee upfront nor on the phone. I went to an interview with them, and at the VERY END this jerkoff tells me their charge is $1800 per year. F--- THAT! And they don't guarantee a thing. I later found out that the signup fee is how they make most of their money and they have a LOT of pissed off members because they lie and they have a VERY VERY low member status. Most people don't go to their events.

So what does that leave? I do have a pub (not a true bar) I hang out at, but I never went there to get a date. Not once. One chick did leave a note on my truck saying to meet her there right after work, but she didn't know I worked 30 miles away. There was no possible way I could have done it.

The only other time was at night at the same pub when I was reading a book and sucking down a beer. Some younger chick came in to suck a beer. I tried to make decent conversation, just be a nice guy. I even bought her a beer. I didn't make ANY moves on her. None. When she was ready to leave, the bartender said I paid for one of her beers. This is what the bitch did: she said "<sigh> Why did you have to go and do that?" Then she took $$ out of her wallet and gave it back. I pushed her money back and said "KEEP IT". She said "I guess I owe you a beer" and I said "Just forget it."

That's what I got for being a nice guy, not making any moves, and buying a girl a beer. Another guy in the pub said she was a real bitch. Ya think?

I used www.dating.com back when it was truly free. I got talking to a 20 year old who I could tell was VERY immature, so I never called or talked to her again. A 29 year old (at the time) who was EXTREMELY stuck up and nothing was good enough for her, and some girl in the Seattle area (over 200 miles away) who was MASSIVELY overweight. Don't think so.

See...we don't necessarily get it any better.

I finally completely totally gave up a year ago. Dating wasn't for me and I was getting nowhere. 98% of the women I met were married or dating, and those that weren't single wanted absolute PERFECTION. If you didn't have a nice new car, a 6 figure income, your own home, etc, you weren't worth their time.

I know not all women are that way, but many of the singles I met just wanted a sugar daddy.

I met some chick at new years 2000 and she was dating some guy I knew. I just blew it off. A few months later they weren't together (but I didn't know that) and she was living with another friend of mine. I thought they were dating. He mentioned that she was interested in me, so I asked if that was true. It was. About a week later we set up a date to go to the coast.

That was almost a year ago and we are still together. Not my best relationship, but its alright. So I spent more than 5 years being single, getting turned down, and during all those years, only 4 women were interested in me. That's less than 1 a year.

I just gave up. I finally learned to be happy being single. Look at the bright side: you keep all your money, no bitchy other half, you do what you want when you want, no complaints, and nobody ever to disagree with you. Although sex is harder....

As for a first date, that just depends on the person. I have known both men and women who just want to get laid after they know your name. But that's not all there is. Some people really want to get to know you.

Like I said, I went years not finding anybody. I just figured it was not going to happen, period. I didn't look at singles ads anymore, didn't ask anybody on a date, nothing. I was sick and tired of being rejected 99.99% of the time.

When you least expect it (and aren't looking), that's when you find someone. It has always been that way for me.

As for your question, if I am told no, I won't ask again. Even if she comes back and says she had time to think about it and wants to give it a shot, nope. I ask once, that's all. I didn't like getting rejected the first time, and I don't need a second.

WOW!!
I only have been single now for a few months and it sucks. But 5 years? That would have been hard for me. But like you said there is an up side. I don't get the nagging boyfriend who doesn't want to do anything but lay on the couch and scratch his balls.
The only thing i really miss, Is touching. I am a touchy person and there is a limit on how much you touch your pillow:lol:
I wont look anymore maybe he will come my way. Or maybe he is out there and just afraid to approach me. Who knows?
I appreciate your input into my situation. You found someone and I am sure there is someone out there for me.
I am not going to give up!!
Who knows I might be destined to be alone:eek: ohhh that better not be the case.
I did check out some dating services on the net. But they all turned out to be loosers. I didn't care about their looks much but i wanted to meet a guy that I could actually talk with. I wanted to find a guy who can make me laugh when i am feeling down. I guess I will find him one day,, and silly me,, you can't find someone off the internet:lol: You can find some dear friends but not a mate.. (Just my opinion)
:eek:
I will be happy with MR. Right NOW!!!
I am single and I am going to enjoy it.
SO SINGLE MEN WATCH OUT:eek:

Well milani, lets see. The guys wanted to screw you right away. SO, he was only interested in your vagina. Then he found he could not have it. He decided he may as well be nice to you and talk to you. I would be pissed at your brother for fixing you up with the dickhead in the first place.

Try a library, a museum, a city park, the pet store, or any other number of places. Just talk, be yourself, and people will either like you, or they wont. If they dont like you, you arent really missing anything by them not wanting to be with you.

And I am sure B.O.B. will help with your TOUCHY needs.

THANK YOU OH WISE ONE!!!
:lol: and B.O.B thanks you also!

You are very right Milani. I HATED being single all those years. The last relationship I had was in 1993, besides the one I just hooked up with in 2001. I said 5 years, but myself and the g/f from 93 broke up in 95, but I BRIEFLY (like 2 months) was with someone in 96.

I didn't know anybody else that was single. I was always calling my dad or grandparents bitching about how much I hated it.

Now that its over, sometimes I wish I had it back. Believe me, even the sex is not necessarily worth it! No way! In fact, I'm STILL waiting for my benefits package.

Being single sucks. But like I said, there ARE benefits. I could go out and have a beer as much as I wanted without a bitchy girlfriend saying "you have done it the past 4 nights, and this is only the second night", no complaining about where I wanted to go, no disagreements, and so much more.

I only ever talked to 1 person who had been single over 10 years, otherwise, I took the prize. It was a VERY long time, and when I was in the home stretch (but I didn't know it), I really felt like it would NEVER happen.

I was tired of getting rejected. I thought I had a lot to offer, but most of them wanted everything and more. The deal is, I will not be anybodys sugar daddy. My current doesn't expect it, nor does she get it. I don't pamper her with gifts. Not that I'm an a$$hole, but I'm not dumping money into her just to get screwed by some future event. It HAS happened.

Now that I've been with her almost a year, I could just as happily go back to the single status. Sure it sucks not having anybody to go to bed with, and sex is a participation sport, but you really loose a lot when you are in a relationship. Less privacy, you don't agree on everything, different tastes, and so forth.

Oh speaking of the balls thing... I don't ask her to do that! No way in hell. She has sharp fingernails. Those guys are sensitive! :lol:

In the last 2 months that I was single, I didn't respond to ANY personal ads, didn't write any, didn't get serious with ANY women, I made ZERO effort. I just totally gave up. My mind was like "ok, it's been over 5 years, it will NOT happen, so quit looking and put your mind on something else."

What I actually did to occupy my time was built my 80's site. About 50% of the reason I did it was because I spent so much time thinking about being single. I started rollerblading during the day and built my site at night. Didn't leave much of any time to think about relationships.

See, for months I was trying to convince myself I wasn't looking, but in reality I was. It took 6 months for me to believe and finally to formally STOP LOOKING. Just completely quit. Forget about being single. 1-2 months later we met.

My sound advice is to NOT try the internet dating. Sure, SOME have had success, but MOST don't. I know at least 5 people who tried online dating. Only 1 was successful. There are some success stories, but not very many. It's a waste of time.

I've seen those ads on yahoo where couples say "we met 2 months ago here an fell in love right away, and we are getting married next summer." Two words: BULL $H!T. Made up. Maybe some are true, but most aren't.

Several people are players, liars, married, or just seeing if they get any responses.

What I did was build my site, went rollerblading, and was frequenting malls and such just looking around. Sure I would look at womens chests (look but don't touch basically), and read books most of the time. You still think about being single, but you don't dwell on it.

Something else I learned... I saw SOOO many couples holding hands, kissing, and so forth and thought "my god, it has been so long for me, I forgot all about that." You are only seeing the good things in it. You aren't seeing them fighting, yelling, and screaming, just the good times. You get the whole package.

Occupy your mind with something else. When you are looking is when you don't find someone.

Pick up an old project, try something new. Read a book. Go walk in the park. There is NO shame in going by yourself. In fact, even though I have a g/f, I PREFER going by myself. Learn to do things on your own. LOTS of people do that. My dad has been with his g/f for YEARS and he prefers to be alone.

Just remember Milani, there are THOUSANDS of others like you. I was one once. You feel like everyone out there is a loser and nobody wants you.

Nope... not the case at all. Remember this: NOTHING lasts forever. Marriage, being single, and so forth. Everything eventually comes to an end. It might take years, but it will be end.

Just be yourself. That's what I did. So what if that guy is a loser, hes not the only guy on the planet. So what if the chick is a real bitch, there are millions of other women out there. They don't like your clothes or your attitude? F--- em. Your not in a beauty contest, you are being yourself. That's what matters.

After you have found some activities and projects to keep your mind off being single and trying to get a date, you will be happy one day just playing around working on something, maybe even drive to the store to pick up something real quick... and then it happens: you meet someone.

Totally spontaneous.

It happens all the time.

Thanks for your adivce.
I have been reading books, working out, chatting on the computer and dancing to get my mind off being single. It is working slowly.

I am going to do something about it. I am going to have some friends over tonight!!!! This is the first time I have invited people over since I moved out... who knows .. i might fiind Mr. Right :rolleyes: You never know!!!
After I read your post a buddy called me and wanted to know what I was going to do tonight. Of course I just shrugged and said "the same thing i do every night.. conquer the world.. lol"
Same boring crap.
Well not tonight!!!
I have to get my head off of finding someone and just have fun with what I have. I have no nagging boyfriend.. I can do what I want and when i want to!!!
I HAVE FREEDOM!!!

I did meet some people off the internet and will never do that again. :hammer:

Thanks again!

Aaronw,
I have to take issue with the statement "nothing last forever" I'm in a wonderful marriage. I won't get into details on it unless you want me to. But the only thing that's going to separate my Wife and Myself from each other is death. As in...'til death do us part. And yes, I know this for a fact.
Whenever I'm driving in the car(or I'm anywhere) with my Children and the issue of divorce or separation comes up. I pull the car over, turn to look at my children and tell the "I will never leave your mother". I say that to them every time. I want them to know that they are safe and secure and do not have to worry about that happening. They can go on and just be kids.

Milani, don't rush it. It'll happen. If I'm not mistaken you have children. Enjoy them. Remember, they're only 5 years old once, 6 years old once, 10 years old once, etc...
You don't get a second chance at that. Once it's gone it's gone. But the great thing is, it's never to late to start.

Originally posted by Preppie
Aaronw,
I have to take issue with the statement "nothing last forever" I'm in a wonderful marriage. I won't get into details on it unless you want me to. But the only thing that's going to separate my Wife and Myself from each other is death. As in...'til death do us part. And yes, I know this for a fact.


Well Preppie, my statement is 100% true. Nothing does last forever. Marriage does not either. Maybe you will be married until you are 120, but the fact remains, it will not last forever. And death certainly puts an end to it. So knowing that, that statement is entirely true.

Some people love marriage, but I do not, and regardless how happy others *seem* to be, I will not do it. To be honest, out of all the married couples I know, 95% (at least) are unhappy, but they remain married. And many of those couples have also said they will never separate or find another person, but every last one of them eventually did.

Perhaps I seem very negative towards marriage. The only truly happy couples I know are my grandparents. That is it. I have been told by women that they will never leave me, and that is yet to hold true. So that is my pet peeve, because no matter who says that statement to me, I will never believe it.

We certainly don't have to agree on the marriage factor. You are for, I am against. Ok, fair enough.

Fair enough. Your right there are some people who shouldn't get married. I'm proud to say that 95+% of the couples I know are happily married. They don't "seem" to be happy. They are happy.
I believe it depends on what foundation your marriage is built on.

Originally posted by Milani

Space - you are a great guy.
So when can you and I go out? :lol:
:goofy:

:dance:

Space jumps into his car...
Then he realises his car can't swim:(

being single is something i'm VERY used to
i think 2 weeks is about the longest i've been in a relationship :lol:
usually they lose interest in me because i take things soooo slowly that they think i'm not interested... one night stands have never appealed to me

it would be nice to try a longer relationship to see how it goes :goofy:

o ya i like your new piccie milani :D

I used to talk to a girl in irc down in arkansas who was several years younger than me. She told me several times that her longest relationship was about 2 months, and she really sucked at getting into them. I was very interested in her. After we knew each other for about 10 months I came to find out why her relationships didn't last -- she was a liar and she screwed any guy who needed to get laid. She lied to me and when I found out she nailed another guy, I told her to NEVER speak to me again. I DON'T give second chances.

Relationships aren't always worth it. I was actually happier being single, but I am not miserable either.

I guess it depends on what you want out of them.

Well, I've been alone and single for 20 years. And I'm expecting to be alone for the next 60...or however long i live for...
I've been told i give off the 'friend vibe'. So women only want to be friends with me. That will never change, so there's no point in going on with life.
In that case, there's no way i'm going to live until i'm an old man... hell, there's no way i'm going to be able to live until i'm 30....

Zacros, just when you least expect it, someone will find you and that friend vibe that you spoke of will be much more! ;)

Aaron.. you have such a negative attitude on SO may things.. By the way.. 95% of the couples that I know are happily married as well... some for 15-20 years and would not change a thing...

I've been with my husband for almost 8 years now and we are best friends.. he doesn't "nag" me, nor do I him.. we both have lives, but are respectful of each other as well. There are many more joys to being married than just sex and having a sleeping partner.. geez!... when you have found the right person.. and I firmly believe that there is someone out there for everyone! I never had to LOOK for someone.. It just happened...

I love sharing responsibilities with him, fixing up the house, gardening.. going to concerts together.. we even work at the same place! But like I said, we have our own lives as well.. he has his band that keeps him happy... so he's not with me 24-7

Milani... there's nothing wrong with being single.. do what's right for you..

Aaron.. I'm not trying to be rude here, but I can kinda see why chicks don't dig you for too long... I'll quote you "I thought I had a lot to offer, but most of them wanted everything and more. The deal is, I will not be anybodys sugar daddy. My current doesn't expect it, nor does she get it. I don't pamper her with gifts. Not that I'm an a$$hole, but I'm not dumping money into her just to get screwed by some future event. It HAS happened. "

That sort of attitude will keep you single for a long time.. but thats great.. because thats the way you want it...

I'm not saying that women NEED to be pampered with gifts, and you don't have to dump money into them.. but c'mon.. that kinda WAS an A$$holish statement.. you give off the vibe that women are there for YOUR amusement and that any attention that they may need is tough luck..

Sorry.. thats just the way I percieved your comment, and forgive me if I am way off.. okay ;)

Mutual respect and consideration is the key to making a relationship work.. and it's not as hard to find as you may think..

Tina,

Aaron.. you have such a negative attitude on SO may things.. By the way.. 95% of the couples that I know are happily married as well... some for 15-20 years and would not change a thing...

---

No, not really (about the attitude). Maybe it seems that I am always negative. That's not entirely true, but when someone brings up a conversation that I don't have any positive feelings on, what do I say?

Again, 95% of the couples I know are NOT happy. 4 of my friends got married and they are all miserable. I knew a girl a few years back who was married for 8 years, hated her husband, he treated her like dirt, but she wouldn't leave. She even admitted she was miserable.

Hey, if your happy, so be it.

I have opinions on many issues. The deal is, I don't sugar coat my feelings. I tell them as they are.

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I've been with my husband for almost 8 years now and we are best friends.. he doesn't "nag" me, nor do I him.. we both have lives, but are respectful of each other as well. There are many more joys to being married than just sex and having a sleeping partner.. geez!... when you have found the right person.. and I firmly believe that there is someone out there for everyone! I never had to LOOK for someone.. It just happened...

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Which is fine. If you are happily married, all the better. I was simply stating things where I see them.

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Aaron.. I'm not trying to be rude here, but I can kinda see why chicks don't dig you for too long... I'll quote you "I thought I had a lot to offer, but most of them wanted everything and more. The deal is, I will not be anybodys sugar daddy. My current doesn't expect it, nor does she get it. I don't pamper her with gifts. Not that I'm an a$$hole, but I'm not dumping money into her just to get screwed by some future event. It HAS happened. "

That sort of attitude will keep you single for a long time.. but thats great.. because thats the way you want it...

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Hmmm interesting. Well Tina, maybe it is partially me. Let's see... one girl put me down because she had a house and a new car, but I didn't. Another was very rude to me when I bought her a drink and I didn't make any moves on her, but she acted as if I shouldn't even be in her presence.

I don't have everything to offer, but I stand by my words. I don't stand for the sugar daddy people. I never said all women were like that. My current isn't. But I have indeed met several women who wanted just that. Who would put up with that?

Hey, if another guy wants to pamper someone all day and give them everything ask for, that's his business. I buy my g/f some things, she buys me some things. We don't pamper each other. And no, I'm not single right now.

It's not that I don't want to pamper, but I have done that in 3 relationships and I was always used. Not anymore. Not worth it.

We don't have to agree on this factor.

And I know not all women are like this. Just like not all men expect sex on the first date.

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I'm not saying that women NEED to be pampered with gifts, and you don't have to dump money into them.. but c'mon.. that kinda WAS an A$$holish statement.. you give off the vibe that women are there for YOUR amusement and that any attention that they may need is tough luck..

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No Tina, I didn't mean that women need it. What I meant is that some of the singles I have met acted that way. They did. I mean think about it... a lady 3 years older than me brags that she has a new car, a house, and I "wish I had that". How would you take that? She wants a sugar daddy.

Sure, there are men who expect sex after buying you dinner. All I was saying is those are the type I have ran into.

I simply think you misunderstood my statement. But like I said, we don't have to agree.

We sought different things in a relationship. Fair enough.

Now this is the way adults discuss things!!
Very well worded guys and gals:p

Zacros,
I know where you are coming from trust me. Sometimes I think I will be alone forever. But recently I have dealt with it. I don't care anymore.. if it happens it happens. I will just leave it up to fate. Right now I am dealing with a break up so I don't need any one in my life right now until i deal with my ex. I need some alone time anyways. I have been someones wife and someones girlfriend for half my life. It is time for me to be Esmeralda again.
Zacros, just let it go.. i am sure your women is out there somewhere.. but just don't be in a hurry to find her. She will come in time.

In the mean time you always have friends here:p