*a dark figure walks up to the grand podium*

The Freak File Address will now commence!

Four score and one year ago your freak fathers brought forth on this
forum a new nation, conceived in freakosity and dedicated to the
proposition that all freaks are better than the normals. Now we are in
the midst of a great freak recession, testing whether us freaks
or any freaks so conceived and so dedicated can long endure. We have
come to dedicate a portion of our old Freak Files as a final resting-place for
those who here gave their freakishly best that the beat goes on. I know
it's tough, but it must be done. The brave freaks, still here and missing
who struggled here have consecrated it far above our poor power to add or detract. The freak world will little note nor long remember what they said here, but it can never
forget what they did here. It is rather for us to be here
dedicated to the great task remaining before us--that from these
honored missing freaks we take increased devotion to that cause for which
they gave the last full measure of mango butter--that we here highly
resolve that these missing shall not have freaked in vain, that this
nation under 80sXchange shall have a new birth of freakosity, and that those
chicken wings and green goo of the freaks, by the freaks, and for the freaks shall
not perish from this forum!!

- Freak rendition of Abe Lincoln's Gettysburg Address

A FRESH START FOR THE NEW FREAKS.
Let's all join hands .. and let the games begin...

Whoo Hoo! I think you locked Ted in there :D I can dream can't I? :rolleyes:

Im ready to get FREAKY!! http://www.AnimierteGif.de/Smilies/Smilies_gross/gif_0107_g.gif

Sorry NM I used bacon grease to loosen the locks.......I'll just watch lol and get drinks and food when you guys need it. :)

** Taz getting the hand mixer & baster ready **

Oh Milani!! Come out here... Get ready to be whiped up and turned on http://www.plauder-smilies.de/naughty.gif

Been a long time since I visited the hallowed halls of freakiness. Thought I needed a visit.

*sits down to polish handcuffs* I'll just wait here and see what happens next. ;)

Hail to the Freaks, oh the Freaks demand the hailing. Hail to the Freaks oh the normals should be wailing...

In the spirit of Freaks most cherish holiday Zel enters the room dressed in a little orange pumpkin costume leaves in the appropriate places (the head LOL), a deck of cards (but their all jacks missing a full deck), a tin of Dilbert's expressmints and some spicy burrito sauce...

Nice cuffs Jazzy... who do you get them so shiny? Want a mint? Those are lovely kiss boots by the way.

Zel licks the Kiss boots to worship the Freak Gods KISS ...(haha let the games begin!)

Originally posted by Zel:
<STRONG>Hail to the Freaks, oh the Freaks demand the hailing. Hail to the Freaks oh the normals should be wailing...

In the spirit of Freaks most cherish holiday Zel enters the room dressed in a little orange pumpkin costume leaves in the appropriate places (the head LOL), a deck of cards (but their all jacks missing a full deck), a tin of Dilbert's expressmints and some spicy burrito sauce...

Nice cuffs Jazzy... who do you get them so shiny? Want a mint? Those are lovely kiss boots by the way.

Zel licks the Kiss boots to worship the Freak Gods KISS ...(haha let the games begin!)</STRONG>

LMAO!! FREAK!!! :p

*TC walks into freak house wearing her red bitch outfit and cracking her new whip! http://www.duhspot.com/users/smiley/s/otn/happy/zzwhip.gif

...sets her freak bag down and pulls out some Hormel canned corned beef and juicy fruit gum.* Now all I need is a new boy(over 18) toy! :eek: :D

Well, I still have my Trusty Plunger(TM) from the first go-round, but I brought some body wash, a garden hose, and a bag of cement. Who's in?

I am sooooo there...lol You still got your porn princess outfit deary? I got the world famous mango butter, a bucket of hotwings, that damn cattle prod from the first Files, and a box of donuts....what's next? :eek:

Wait! Where are those donuts from? Can you sprinkle some of that white sugar powder on these boots?

Milani grabs two donuts and puts them on each one of her... http://www.themelee.com/smilies/s/ups/layla_phoenix/boobies.gif
Looks around for Taz.. to come and eat them off..

http://www.smilies-world.de/Smilies/Smilies_klein/smilie_einsch2.gif

Taz.. let me pour you some champagne. Now drink it slow. Can you feel it yet?

Good .. http://www.smilies-world.de/Smilies/Smilies_klein/Smilies_klein_1/fouetaa.gif
Then this wont hurt a bit.. :p

Originally posted by Roemello:
<STRONG>I am sooooo there...lol You still got your porn princess outfit deary? </STRONG>
That old thing? Don't you know, I took it apart and made one of those belly dancer costumes, so I can do the Pie Girl 'dance of the seven veils', sweetcheeks!! LOL

I remembered to bring the leftover sequins, crazy glue, and peanut brittle, though.

Originally posted by puleeze:
<STRONG>
That old thing? Don't you know, I took it apart and made one of those belly dancer costumes, so I can do the Pie Girl 'dance of the seven veils', sweetcheeks!! LOL

I remembered to bring the leftover sequins, crazy glue, and peanut brittle, though.</STRONG>

LOL Was that the dance you showed me in the shower a while back? Never seen body lotion used in such manners... :eek: lol ;) I'll take this belly dancer costume anyday :D

Wonder what we could do with our 'hell diggin' shovels....and that craftmatic adjustable bed over there is giving me some very bad intentions... :eek: LOL ;)

Woo-boy! Just made it past Ted. Alright, I've got presents! A blindfold, a glue stick and some Twinkies! Have fun, you guys! Milaniiiii...where are yoooooooou?

Sincerely,

John "outofplacechild" Kilduff

psssttttt
Freaky Milani is right behind you ... can I help you with something?

Hey, Milani! Hope you don't consider this too freaky, but could we french-kiss...well, virtual french-kiss anyway?

(Singing) You're so young and I'm so old...This, my darling, I've been told! (Speaking) Well, you get the idea!

Sincerely,

John "outofplacechild" Kilduff

We could do anything in this freak file and all you want to do is Frech Kiss? Okay..
let me get ready.. gets the KY.. I mean vasaline.. wow!! finally finds some lip balm.. Applies it very generously.. tries to find some breath mint.. looks deep in her bad.. pulls spam.. with green goo stuck to it.
sick.. that isn't what i am looking for.
Searches deeper in her bag... http://www.smilies-world.de/Smilies/Smilies_klein/anon.gif
Found some..

Okay.. I am ready..
Hey where did you go? http://www.contrabandent.com/pez/otn/tongue/lickout.gif
I can't do this alone you know?

Here I am, Milani! I'll lead! (OPC thrusts his lips onto Milani's. His tongue ends up breaking through. They both end up MMMMing. The kiss, deep and passionate, lasts for a minute). Well, now that we know each other better, would you care for this whipped cream I have?

Sincerely,

John "outofplacechild" Kilduff

Originally posted by outofplacechild:
<STRONG>The kiss, deep and passionate, lasts for a minute. </STRONG>
:eek: Not a WHOLE minute!!! OMG!!! I'm scandalized!! Let's get freaky now and leave the porno to the pros....LOL

I thought you'd like my outfit Roem!! Isn't it nice to have all these veils to use? I also have some spam jelly and some jalepeno juice! Let's get busy! ;)

I need someone to get freaky with! :p hmmmm...wonder who I can drag in here?? ;)

*places add in Freak File intellegencer*

WANTED: Freak partner. Must be able to get freaky. Be willing to try new things. License a must. All male applicatants only. Porn freaks need not apply.

Okay! * Slams the door *

Oh Milani?! where are you, 'lil lamb chop?

You have some 'splaning to do...

* Getting electric beater & handcuffs out in hopes that this will get her arroused like she did to Taz when she whipped him into the next week * :eek: ;)

Oh thanks. I've been looking for that.

*Zel runs with the glue gun giggling like a banshie and attempts glueing twinkies to the floor to show the twinkie dance steps*

Anyone got a squeegy?

* Getting electric beater & handcuffs out in hopes that this will get her arroused like she did to Taz when she whipped him into the next week *

--------------------


I am here.. it is about time you showed up baby. I thought you forgot about me and left me in here with all these freaks.
*grabs the handcuffs and locks him to the leaf blower. Grabs some twinkies and smears them all over Taz's neck. :eek: *
Looks around the room to make sure no one is paying attention, and starts heading for Taz's luscious neck.

I've never entered the freak file before. Interesting! Roem, I love that opening of the revised Gettysburg Address. That was great, gave me a good laugh!!! :D

Originally posted by topcat1970:
<STRONG>WANTED: Freak partner. Must be able to get freaky. Be willing to try new things. License a must. All male applicatants only. Porn freaks need not apply. </STRONG>

Here´s my CV...

Willing freak partner for almost all unspeakable acts.
Always in to explore new fields of freakishness.
Holder of several licenses, more informtion on closer (and I mean "closer" !) request.
Male.
Keen on introducing the latest high-tech gadgetry to enhance the pleasure.
I have to admit that I´m some kind of porn freak, but in a good and, ahem, freaky way. :D
Salaries: after negotiations (also accepting natural goods and little favours).

Leave a message here anytime, or call 1-800-GSMFREAK for further details. ;)

wave is freaking me out...Thank goodness, I thought I went in the wrong door!!

Roem, I think we should use the light beer and the whipped cream to get the moose out of the party room. You draw lines with the whipped cream, and I'll borrow some green goo from Zel.

** pulling out the freak foot locker from the the basement **

Wooo, don't go down there.... it's DARK!

anyone know what's in this locker?
.... where is everyone? :rolleyes:

Originally posted by wavemaster:
<STRONG>

Here´s my CV...

Willing freak partner for almost all unspeakable acts.
Always in to explore new fields of freakishness.
Holder of several licenses, more informtion on closer (and I mean "closer" !) request.
Male.
Keen on introducing the latest high-tech gadgetry to enhance the pleasure.
I have to admit that I´m some kind of porn freak, but in a good and, ahem, freaky way. :D
Salaries: after negotiations (also accepting natural goods and little favours).

Leave a message here anytime, or call 1-800-GSMFREAK for further details. ;)</STRONG>

HIRED!!! :D *purrrrrrr*

Originally posted by puleeze:
[QB]wave is freaking me out...Thank goodness, I thought I went in the wrong door!!



Not me! :D hehe

Hey, Naughty Kitty...look what I´ve brought for you...*drags a long, black, oddly shaped box behind himself into the room*

*let TC takes a closer look...*

Yes, it´s a coffin...*open the hoods*, upholstered with some plushy red velvet inside.
Now, come closer, and let me see if you are the easily scared...or if the curiosity will finally kill the cat... :D

Coffin you say? http://www.themelee.com/smilies/s/otn/funny/naughty.gif

*looks inside coffin* What is this?? *points to top inside of coffin* Why are there mirrors here?? :D and what is this?? *points to small box on outside of coffin* It says here, 'Place quarter in slot and feel the vibrate of your cot'

*grabs some Hormel canned cornbeef and hops into coffin* :D

Hey! (As Milani runs away with Twinkies to sooth Taz's neck) I was using those for my Twinkie dance demonstration :( Luckily I always have a spare pack of twinkies for freaky occassions.

Tosses TC a Quarter - I think that was just serviced by WHAMMO use at own discretion.

Don't chase the Moose out just yet. Thats the Northern Exposure Moose - he needed a new freaky hang out. He's house trained.

This is also being moved to the 'Love Lounge' It may be freaky love, but it's lovin' non-the-less...lol ;)