Tinajo
3-16-01, 05:54 PM
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After
mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I
am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass ofvodka next
to the water glass.If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."So next Sunday
he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got
nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return
to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door:
1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ and the Disciples as the late J.C. and
the boys.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and
the Spook.
8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say
he was stoned off his ass.
10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said,"Take this and
eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me"
12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry,"
13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for
the grub, yeah God.
14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St.Peter's, not a
peter pulling contest at St.Taffy's.
(I love that last one!!! ) http://www.80sxchange.com/ubb/smilies//laugh.gif
------------------
ROCK AND ROLL!!!
PAGAN IS GOD!!
Later!! Tina
mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I
am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass ofvodka next
to the water glass.If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."So next Sunday
he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got
nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return
to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door:
1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ and the Disciples as the late J.C. and
the boys.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and
the Spook.
8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say
he was stoned off his ass.
10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said,"Take this and
eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me"
12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry,"
13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for
the grub, yeah God.
14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St.Peter's, not a
peter pulling contest at St.Taffy's.
(I love that last one!!! ) http://www.80sxchange.com/ubb/smilies//laugh.gif
------------------
ROCK AND ROLL!!!
PAGAN IS GOD!!
Later!! Tina