What to not say to the nice policeman.

I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
Hey, you must've been doing about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good Job!
I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
Bad cop! No doughnut!
You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.
Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on Cops?
Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's nightstand.
Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonald's?
I pay your salary!
So, uh, you on the take or what?
Gee, Officer! That's terrific! The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other car around--that's how far ahead of me they are.
What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained specialist.
Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum!
Hey, can you give me another one of those full body cavity searches?
http://www.80sxchange.com/ubb/smilies//laugh.gif


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I know what boys like, I know what guys want, I know what boys like, boys like, boys like me...

Quote from "Wayne's World"-

"Do I smell bacon?"http://www.80sxchange.com/ubb/smilies//wink.gifhttp://www.80sxchange.com/ubb/smilies//biggrin.gifhttp://www.80sxchange.com/ubb/smilies//laugh.gif

Sincerely,

John "outofplacechild" Kilduff

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"If you don't give up and don't give in, you may just be okay"-Mike And The Mechanics

A few more tidbits to add in here (hopefully I'm not repeating any http://www.80sxchange.com/ubb/smilies//tongue.gif)

I only had one officer Mr. Keg..

Back off Barney, I've got a piece.

Want to race to the station, Sparky?

I know I was weaving, but I can't find the Honeycomb Hideout!

On the way to the station let's get a twelve pack.

You'll never get those cuffs on me...You Pussy!

Come on write the damn ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!

Hey, wasn't your daughter a porn queen?

How long is this going to take? Your wife is expecting me.

I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are cars around, that's how far I am behind the other cars.

"Lets do it different this time... I will give you the breathalyzer test, now stick this in your mouth and blow"

Didn't I see you get your ass kicked on "COPS" last week on TV?

Do you know why you pulled me over? Good, at least one of us does.

When you smack the crap outta me, make sure you smile for the video camcorder.

Hey, you look like that girl I f***ed a few days ago...

Hey officer, want to see a trick? Look at your wife!

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<FONT face="Times New Roman"><FONT size="4">- Roemello</FONT s></FONT f>
http://spiffyentertainment.8m.com
http://roemello.80sxchange.com
"Only the meek get pinched. The bold survive."

Ohmygosh! Too funny. How's about...
Yesh, Occifer, I have been drunking. Jusht what do ya thin' you're gonna do 'bout it?

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Yeah. And then you woke up!

"Soo-Eee, Pig, Pig, Pig"

Sincerely,

John "outofplacechild" Kilduff

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"If you don't give up and don't give in, you may just be okay"-Mike And The Mechanics

Here's one I actually said to a cop,when he pulled us over(I was in the back seat,drunk,my buddy was driving)

Hey,aren't you a public servant?Then Wash our F**kin' car!

My buddy almost Sh*t himself,I thought he was gonna kill me when we finally got back to his house.I just laughed my ass off.

Those are all funny!

I got pulled over for speeding by a cop in Chicago once. I was standing next to his car door looking at my watch, hoping he would give me a warning. While he was writing the ticket, I kept looking at my watch. He stopped for a second and asked me if I was in a hurry, I told him that I was late to pick-up my wife from work.

He then went back to writing and said "I'll finish this as fast as I can!"

Gee, Thanks Officer!!

Culty!!!! You bad boy!!!!! Go straight to my room!!! (I love saying that)

. I pay your salary!

:lol:

My brother in law actually said this to a cop and got put into jail :lol:

One line I actually used that got me off a ticket, and I've told Taz about this one...I used to work for an office supply company doing deliveries, and had a shortcut that made me go a half block up a one way street the wrong way. There was never any cops there, but one day I got nailed. The dialogue went something like this:

"Do you know you were going the wrong way on a one way street?"

"No officer, I didn't"

"Well, didn't you see the arrows?"

"No sir, I didn't even see the Indians..."

He cracked up and let me go....;)

Originally posted by Pebbles42
Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

:lol: This is my favorite! :D

:laugh: :laugh: Those are really funny

Cute way of getting out of a ticket, Pagan.

Originally posted by Pebbles42
Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

Good ones:D These are my personal favorites:D