I know that this isn't a board for this, but there was someone who had dealt with eating disorders here, and I was wondering who it was. I've had a few bad days, and few bad comments made towards me, and I was hoping to talk it out with someone who understands. I have tried talking with Aron, but he doesn't get it. I mean, he supports me, but he doesn't GET it.

If there is someone here who I can just talk with about this in PM's or email, I would really appreciate it. The message boards on this are a little too "holier than thou" for me. Though they do mean well, it's just a little too much for me.

Thank you for reading this.....

~Gretchen

Gretchen.....You can pm me about this. I have dealt with bulimia from the time I was 15...I've got it under control. If you need someone to talk to , I'll be here for you! {{{HUGS}}}

Guess again DD, this IS the board for whatever problems you are having. ;) The Advice Column is a perfect place to get help. :)
I have made use of it myself and let me be the first to tell you ,It really helps! :)

Whenever someone makes a rude comment about another person that ,to me, proves their ignorance! How could a person say something to another person, in reguards to race, apperance or personnal views,etc.??

You can e-mail or PM me anytime! I may not be the best advice giver but I will be your friend :)

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}

Well, I've been doing okay here. I am still finding myself purging, but not as often. I have begun to use the OTC fat burner, Chitosen, that blocks the fat from your body before entering the blood stream. I have lost about 10 lbs over the last week, though it's fast, I am feeling a bit better about my body. I know that it's not the best thing to do to myself, but I just can't take the critisism from my 'rents. With my little brother getting married in June, and being in the wedding, they are afraid that I am going to "pork out" (their words!) and not fit into the damn dress. Aron says that he likes my body no matter what, but I can't help but think that he'd like it better if I was thinner.

Ugh. Hopefully, it will get better soon!

Although the only knowledge I have about eating disorders is through research I have done for a character in a novel I'm writing, Gretchen, you know you always have an ear to listen to you. You know how I worry about you! I love ya!!!

80sTrivia: Official Stalker of DD86 & jen* :D

I love you too, Michael. You really are the best in the world!! I just wish that I could understand why I keep feeling this way about myself. From the neck up, I love myself, but from the neck down, I feel so insecure about me. It doesn't help that I have big ta-ta's, even after the reduction. Because of "them", I feel as though I am fat. (Again, not very realistic at all!)

It's just a messed up mind, I guess. I wish that I could see what everyone else sees in me, and then I'd be fine. I've tried the positive imagery, and sometimes it works. But, then I try on something, and I feel like a beached whale. It's stupid, because I am not. I am mad b/c I am in a size 6 right now...I mean, come on, a lot of people would be happy with that, why can't I? Why do I keep pushing to be a 2, or a 4? Maybe b/c everyone keeps saying how "little" I am. I mean, UGH! I just don't know. I just hate the "full" feeling, it makes me crazy! :mad:

I have had to deal with eating disorders for quite some time. I have taken every diet pill out there (over the counter) I know what works.. nothing...
I found out you have to deal with the inside first. It wont help if you loose weight, because you are unhappy with the person inside. I use to eat.. and eat.. and eat.. then go and throw it all up. I would feel guilty about eating a cracker... I was really bad off. I had to learn to love my self for what I am.
WOmen have to deal with this problem all the time.. it is an image thing.
Pm me if you need to talk about it,, you have helped me and i can help you through this..

It sounds like you are trying, in part, to live up to a steretype. That's what I try to do too. Men are supposed to be bigger and stronger (per the stereotype). But, I am short (5'4") and underweight (about 120 lbs.). I feel like I'm pretty strong for my size (I lift things heavier than me throughout my workday).
For me, its very frustrating being the smallest guy around. And, I've tried everything you can think of including things you probably wouldn't think of. My metabolism is just way too high. I burn the energy I get from food real fast, too fast. I guess I'm saying all this to let you know that even guys go through similar problems, even though they are not exactly the same.
Excuse me for my rant, This thread is about you Gretchen. Since my problem is gaining weight and not losing it, I can't offer any real advice. Please don't hesitate to talk about it though. It already sounds like their are some who can relate to what you're talking about.

Red....

This thread isn't just about me at all!! ;) I just needed to rant about the fact that I am finding it hard to live up to the stereotypes that are out there for women, and you have just pointed out that there are stereotypes for men! I am trying very hard to do what is best for me, but I find it very discouraging that when I go out, I get looked up and down by other women for whatever reasons. I know that it shouldn't bother me, but it does. I may only weigh in at 110lbs now, but when I see those looks, I feel like I weigh about 150!!

It's crazy, but it's like I see myself in those carnival mirrors!

Original posted by dancingdoll86:
but I find it very discouraging that when I go out, I get looked up and down by other women for whatever reasons

They do it because they're superficial...plain and simple. No woman needs to look like a model to be beautiful. I've turned down those types in the past for putting up that stuck up shit...looks aren't everything (although I won't lie...they do help :)).

You my dear, looking at those pics you sent me before, are a beautiful woman...and don't you forget it! ;)

[QUOTE]Originally posted by dancingdoll86:
[QB]Red....

I am trying very hard to do what is best for me, but I find it very discouraging that when I go out, I get looked up and down by other women for whatever reasons.

Maybe they are looking at you that way because they wish they were as small as you. Maybe they like your outfit. You're a cutie and I'm really sorry your family says things like that to you. Try to think posative when you see people looking you over though. ;)

Originally posted by ImSoooSure:
<STRONG>[QUOTE]Originally posted by dancingdoll86:
[QB]Red....

I am trying very hard to do what is best for me, but I find it very discouraging that when I go out, I get looked up and down by other women for whatever reasons.

</STRONG>

Maybe they look at you that way because they think you are pretty or like your outfit. I am a big time people watcher and am guilty of looking people up and down. I try not to be rude or obvious but I do get caught sometimes. I look at people because I admire them though. Try to think posative when you see someone doing that to you.
;)

I don't look at women.. i don't gauk and i don't point fingers. Who am I to judge anyone?
I hate the stereotypes also. Men might say differently and it doesnt' matter.. but come on... who are you kidding?
IF you were to have a choice between a chubby girl.. or a slim, tight women.. who would you choose?
COme on.. we know the answer!! Be honest?
That is why women worry about their weight. Simply because men worry about it also.
If your old lady gained 10 lbs. you would notice and you might not say anything but you notice.

I always look at people when I'm out and about - so what? It's not like you judge people simply by looking at them :)

Are they really giving you a (hostile) look up and down or is it your own insecurity that makes it feel that way? That you can work on :) Otherwise, if someone gives you a look up and down and you feel judged then sod it! It's their own insecurities speaking volumes in that look "oh no - look - major competition". Take it as a compliment and give them a confident smile - I'm sure it will bug the hell out of them ;)

As for weight and attractiveness I think it's a load of rubbish! Different people have different preferences and just like men's preferences vary when it comes to prefering blondes, brunettes, petite women, tall women, Asian women, etc. men all have different preferences when it comes to weight. What good it is to have a good-looking slim woman at your arm if you can't stand the thought of growing old with her or hate the idea of waking up with her in the morning?

All I know is that women here... (all women) will only look at you in one way. And it is not a nice way. I guess all these women have insecurities. I simply ignore them and walk the other way. When I first moved here I took it to heart and I would make comments and then it would lead in an arguement. I have grown up since and just really don't give a crap what other people think. I am a confident women and so I walk in that way. My head up !!!
I have taught the boys never to allow someone glance make you feel belittled. Walk proud and with your head high.. these peoples opinions don't matter.
I guess I am not making any sense.. a bit tired this morning..
haha

Hmmm.... I hope you'll re-read the post when you're a bit more awake, because you've basically said that even the women on the Xchange would look at you like that, or what? ;) I don't think so..... Try to expect the best from people instead :)

All I know is that women here... (all women) will only look at you in one way.
KAY I said all women here... not on the boards,, here. meaning the women here in Kentucky! :eek:

Being a native of Kentucky, I can say that Milani is a beautiful Kentucky woman, even if she's not a native!! :)

Who's That Girl? The Ultimate Madonna Trivia Book, now on sale! (http://www.iuniverse.com/bookstore/book_detail.asp?isbn=0%2D595%2D21014%2D7)

80sTrivia: Official Stalker of DD86 & jen* :D

It's not even that women look hostile, or anything like that. Women, in general, tend to be criticle. I'm not sure why. I know that sometimes, I too, am at fault of that. But, most of the looks that I see, I tend to take the wrong way, because MY mind is thinking the negative. Sometimes, when you are told something negative over and over again, it is easier to believe than the positive.

I don't doubt that they could be looking at me in an envious way....it's not as though I am big or anything, (of course, not that big is bad...I'm not thinking in that way), but I, ugh, have forgotten my train of thought!

I am just saying, that in this forum, everyone treats everyone else with respect. I would like to think that I treat everyone the way that I would want to be treated, or treat them the way that they treat me. BUT, walking through the mall, down the street, whatever, people still will be people. They will give looks and all and somehow, I have to figure out how to ignore the bad looks. Or envious, whatever they are.

It's just my own mind, and some of the looks that I get, be them good or bad, get distorted into bad...only because I have had this problem since I was 13 years old. It's a lot of old baggage to work out, and get into a new way of thinking.

I agree with you Michael...Milani is a great looking Kentucky woman!!! (Didn't Neil Diamond sing about you, Milani?!?)

Next time someone looks at you try smiling and saying hi.
If they are looking at you negatively (which they prob. are not) it will throw them off and make them know you are a confident, strong woman.
If they are looking at you in a good way it will confirm what they are prob. allready thinking.
I deal with the ultimate grumpies day after day. Sometimes I just have to take a breather and look up and smile at them then resume my work. It's amazing what it can do. :D
Oh yea, and it doesn't hurt that the smiles of the women posting on here are beautiful smiles. ;)

Being a native of Kentucky, I can say that Milani is a beautiful Kentucky woman, even if she's not a native!!

THANKS HON!!!

DD? YOU ARE SO FUNNY.. NEIL DIAMOND? YOU CRACK ME UP!!!

Sis

That would be my job!!! Gotta keep you smiling and laughing!!

YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE THAT MAKES ME CRY WHEN I AM LAUGHING...

*DD gives her sis a big shit-eating grin*

:D :D :D :D

Well, I have been bad. Not bad-bad, but I am not having very much luck getting rid of my "friend". I've been feeling really depressed for the last month, due to the fact that Aron's doctor said the only real cure for his "erectile probs" is Viagra. (One of the side effects of diabetes.) Well, I ate, then purged, and kept this up. Aron didn't say anything, but I know that he was thinking it. Well, finally, after 2 months, Thursday night we finally ML. 2 times, in fact. It seems he's getting back to normal. I was starting to think I was fat, ugly, stupid, unattractive because he wasn't touching me, though in my logical head, I know that it has absolutely nothing to do with me, OR how he feels about me. Now, I was up to 10 lax's a day, and my body is getting rid of everything. I haven't taken any at all today, but I am still in the bathroom once every hour or so.

I know that I need professional help at this point, but don't know where to go or who to turn to. I really need to get rid of my friend. Especially when I read that ppl with ED's need to be healthy for at least a year before trying to conceive!

Sorry to ramble...I don't wanna, but I needed to vent.