This holiday season is going to very tough for me, because my Dad won't be there, also my brother now has a family of his own, and probably will spend most of his time with his wife and new daughter. I've always am a family person and believe you should be with your family on the holidays, but this time it'll be different. I'm kinda depressed thinking about it now. I have a feeling my sister or brother will invite my Mom up to Boston, and since I have a job I can't really take time off for I'll be here alone in Buffalo. I don't want to be alone on the holidays. I want to be with the people I love, which is my sister, brother and Mom.
Maybe it's "that time of the month" for me, but right now I feel sad, and need some cheering up. For those who have lost a parent, how did you cope with the holidays after their death?
I'm sorry if I sound like I'm rambling, but when I'm upset I sometimes ramble. :cry:

Hi BlueMolly2001, I too have had to deal with this in the past since both of my parents are gone. It was a very difficult time for me and luckily had some great friends to help me through it. The toughest thing for me though was not getting used to being alone, but to getting used to being apart of another family after not having any for so long. I hope that you do not have to experience that at all. I grew up in a very large family and the holiday time was so full of love and joy so of course lonliness has been felt. I can't give you lots of advice because everyone deals with things differently, for me though time was the only thing that made things easier. Now that I have my own family with children my holidays are much happier and when I think of my lost parents it brings a smile to my face. It has taken me almost 14 years to feel this way. Good luck molly with your holiday season....

The first Christmas after my Dad died (he'd died in September) was very hard for us. Actually that whole year was. Two days after he died was my anniversary, two weeks later was my parents' anniversary, two weeks after that was my mom's birthday, two weeks after that was my dad's birthday, two weeks after that was Thanksgiving, then December with Christmas.

I'm making assumptions here about your parents' marriage, but you've got to remember that your mom will be feeling especially lonely without him at Christmastime too. She's going to want to be with family as much as you do. If I were you I'd talk to her ASAP and tell her how much you want to be with family at the holidays, but explain your situation. She probably does not mean to, but she may not realize how she'd be leaving you out if she goes to Boston. Maybe if it's addressed soon, it may be possible for your brother and/or sister to come to Buffalo instead, even if it's just for a day or two.

If you do end up by yourself for Christmas, consider doing something to keep yourself busy. If you have friends with whom you'd feel comfortable spending the holiday with, do that. Or there is probably volunteer work feeding the homeless or poor at a church or shelter in the city. If you can't be with the ones you love, lose yourself in service to others so that you won't have a chance to dwell on how disappointed you may be.

Whatever happens, you know that it is going to be hard, especially when you are used to spending the holidays with all of your family. Things are never the same once we lose a member of the family, but the happy memories we have of the missing ones can fill some of the void.
Good luck. :ghug:

Molly,

Honestly, I wouldn't worry about that until it get's close to the Holiday's. Perhaps, they may come to see you? I would wait and see. Something may work out for all of you to see each other.

Good Luck