Well I have this friend (ya know that friend you tell everything to) and well, we are drifting. She just takes less and less interest in me. There's alot to it but basically I didn't do anything wrong. We always had a very complicated relationship but things have took a turn for the worse and it's taking a toll on me emotionally. What gets me is I don't know if I should just let go and forget about her or do I try and fix things? I've been making a very big effort to fix things these past 2 months but it only seems to work for a day at most. Then everything comes back. The big issue is she's become very distant. She claims that's because she doesn't feel I care or wanna listen to her anymore (which couldn't be farther from the truth). She says I never expressed myself right and when she'd open up to me, she felt left hanging because I didn't showed her how much it really meant to me that she did open up, correctly. And it's totally different now, I AM showing it and AM making that extra effort but she basically tells me it's too little too late. And she's stopped telling me everything (She'd always tell me everything about her day and all that, which just meant the world to me), she claims she stopped telling me everything because it seemed like I didn't wanna hear it. And that if I wanna know something, ask. I have been asking, but she refuses to tell me, which I find funny because then it just makes her sound retarded.

But anyways, I just wanted to know if anyone had friends who drifted and came back. And what things I might be able to do to help things.

Dude, welcome to the world of dealing with women. THey will say they want something, and then not want it. Tell you to do something, and not respond when you do. It is never easy to figure them out. Just give her space, and if she is going to be a reliable friend, she will come back, if not, chalk it up as somebody who just outgrew your relationship.

Originally posted by Jasper
Dude, welcome to the world of dealing with women. THey will say they want something, and then not want it. Tell you to do something, and not respond when you do. It is never easy to figure them out. Just give her space, and if she is going to be a reliable friend, she will come back, if not, chalk it up as somebody who just outgrew your relationship.

I learned at a young age women are evil. <dodges rotten fruit> :lol: I just never had a real problem with her before so I thought she was different. I have alot to learn I guess. :p

Space is very important I learned this week. Otherwise they just yell at you. :rolleyes:

Hey Ted. Trust me, I have had a similiar problem happen to me. One of my closest friends accused me of "using" her, for no real reason. Then she went on and off, and wouldn't speak to me for long periods of time. That was about 3 years ago - now we have become friends again. I don't know what advice I can give you, but be there for her and give it time. Hopefully she will come around. :)

You've told me about this girl before. :p I can say that I had a really good friend in 8th grade and then she moved away. She came back at the end of last year, but I couldn't handle being friends with her...because so many things had changed in that year. She wasn't a friend I could talk to about Dan or my emotions. I grew away from her or I didn't need a friend like her. Maybe your friend has done the same thing to you. I think that you should just let her go. :) And I'm practically always here for my buddy.

If you've made every effort to patch things up with her, that's all you can do. It's up to her now. I have to agree with the advice that's been given until now, give her some space and if it takes along time for her to come around, you may find that you no longer have an interest in fixing things up. It'll be her loss.

Originally posted by Christine
Hey Ted. Trust me, I have had a similiar problem happen to me. One of my closest friends accused me of "using" her, for no real reason. Then she went on and off, and wouldn't speak to me for long periods of time. That was about 3 years ago - now we have become friends again. I don't know what advice I can give you, but be there for her and give it time. Hopefully she will come around. :)

She accused me of taking her for granted. Which I can see her feeling that. There really isn't much I can say or do, just wait it out and give her space, I guess.

Originally posted by Shortieblonde You've told me about this girl before. I can say that I had a really good friend in 8th grade and then she moved away. She came back at the end of last year, but I couldn't handle being friends with her...because so many things had changed in that year. She wasn't a friend I could talk to about Dan or my emotions. I grew away from her or I didn't need a friend like her. Maybe your friend has done the same thing to you. I think that you should just let her go. And I'm practically always here for my buddy.

I would never just let go unless she pushed me away. :p She means too much to me. But then again when you love someone, you let them go...

Originally posted by Ted Nugent

I would never just let go unless she pushed me away. :p She means too much to me. But then again when you love someone, you let them go...

Just do what your heart says. :D :p ;)

Originally posted by Shortie Blonde


Just do what your heart says. :D :p ;)

I don't think anyone would want me to do that. :eek: :naughty: Oh......you said heart. :D

Originally posted by Ted Nugent


I don't think anyone would want me to do that. :eek: :naughty: Oh......you said heart. :D

lol Perv :p

Looks to me like she wants you to do a specific way of listening to her, reacting to what she says, what to say, etc.

I say, calmly, ask her how is it that she wants you to do things. It looks like you have one impression but she sees something else.

All you can do is to continue to be true to yourself and be the best person you can. Don't shut the door on your friendship, just back off a little, maybe your friend is going thru something that she cannot share with you. If she comes back then cool, if not, I'm sorry. Always be yourself.....

Originally posted by amk27
All you can do is to continue to be true to yourself and be the best person you can. Don't shut the door on your friendship, just back off a little, maybe your friend is going thru something that she cannot share with you. If she comes back then cool, if not, I'm sorry. Always be yourself.....

I explained to her last night that it's really just not right to have me trying so hard to fix things while she just leaves me there alone to do all the work. If she really is as good a friend as I thought she was she would have done more. Or at least come back one day.

She seems to be annoyed when I bring it all up, so I just stopped, I told her I won't be talking to her anymore if she's gonna be like that. If she wants to talk she can talk to me FIRST. I'm sick of chasing someone who doesn't wanna be caught.


Looks to me like she wants you to do a specific way of listening to her, reacting to what she says, what to say, etc.

I say, calmly, ask her how is it that she wants you to do things. It looks like you have one impression but she sees something else.

I've already done that and did exactly what she says. But then all of sudden it isn't enough or she changes her mind. It's her loss anyways, I am in the right.

Ted keep your chin up, If she is the person you thought she was then she will come around, back off a little and see what happens. Every girl wants a little challenge, but remember....be yourself! Good luck friend......

Originally posted by amk27
Ted keep your chin up, If she is the person you thought she was then she will come around, back off a little and see what happens. Every girl wants a little challenge, but remember....be yourself! Good luck friend......

She LOVES a challenge, in fact that's part of why she says she lost interest. Because I started opening up and the mystery was lost. So now I have to challenge her and keep some mystery if I want it all back. But I don't jump for anyone, I did for a time with her but she needs to learn that it takes two to make a friendship work.

I'm always myself but I'm sure you remember what it's like being a teen, WE DON'T KNOW WHAT WE MIGHT BE. LOL I guess maybe because I'm becoming more stable with my personality that might kinda set her back. She always loved trying to figure me out. It's funny how she thinks she does now, she really only knows what I expose.

Yes Ted I remember all to well, but let me tell you it doesn't always get better as an adult. At 36 I still have trouble with who I am and where I'm going. Never change for another, you should be able to be true to yourself as well as to her. A person should never be your life, but instead make your already good life better. Good luck to you Ted, I hope that in some small way I was able to help you. If you ever need a pal, you know where to find me....Anthony

Originally posted by amk27
Yes Ted I remember all to well, but let me tell you it doesn't always get better as an adult. At 36 I still have trouble with who I am and where I'm going. Never change for another, you should be able to be true to yourself as well as to her. A person should never be your life, but instead make your already good life better. Good luck to you Ted, I hope that in some small way I was able to help you. If you ever need a pal, you know where to find me....Anthony

It's not so much I have trouble with who I am, it's more like it just changes. But my loyalty to certain people never change. And my morals don't either. It's good to change but never should anyone let go of their virtues.

Yes you did help, it's nice to know there are people out there who can relate or talk to. Thanks man.

Originally posted by Ted Nugent


Yes you did help, it's nice to know there are people out there who can relate or talk to. Thanks man.

And what about me? huh? :p Actually, wait...it's the other way around. :lol: :D

Originally posted by Shortie Blonde


And what about me? huh? :p Actually, wait...it's the other way around. :lol: :D

You help in other ways. :eek: :D

Originally posted by Ted Nugent


You help in other ways. :eek: :D

:shh: :eek:

Quick update.....

Well it looks as though things are alright now. After a long month and a half battle it's pretty much over. No more fighting or anything, thank God. I still don't get what the whole problem was but apparently it was my fault. And it's my fault I didn't know it was my fault. And it's my fault I couldn't read her mind to know it was my fault. I don't it and I don't think I ever will. LOL At least we're talking again. :p Like she said......."It only proves we can make it through thick and thin." :D

Originally posted by Ted Nugent
Quick update.....

Well it looks as though things are alright now. After a long month and a half battle it's pretty much over. No more fighting or anything, thank God. I still don't get what the whole problem was but apparently it was my fault. And it's my fault I didn't know it was my fault. And it's my fault I couldn't read her mind to know it was my fault. I don't it and I don't think I ever will. LOL At least we're talking again. :p Like she said......."It only proves we can make it through thick and thin." :D

Me glad. :D *hugs*

Originally posted by Shortie Blonde


Me glad. :D *hugs*

I'm gladder. :D *hugs*

Let me in here for some hugs :D
I am glad to hear things are better Ted.

Originally posted by Milani
Let me in here for some hugs :D
I am glad to hear things are better Ted.

threesome! :lol:

Spank ya Queeny. :p

:bigeek:

I should have known you would have taken it like that :rolleyes: :lol:

:p

Originally posted by Milani
:bigeek:

I should have known you would have taken it like that :rolleyes: :lol:

:p

Part of the Ted charm. :D

Originally posted by Ted Nugent
Quick update.....

I still don't get what the whole problem was but apparently it was my fault. And it's my fault I didn't know it was my fault. And it's my fault I couldn't read her mind to know it was my fault. I don't it and I don't think I ever will. LOL At least we're talking again. :p Like she said......."It only proves we can make it through thick and thin." :D

Ted, I just wanted to say something here..

And it's my fault I didn't know it was my fault. That is because you see and read things differently than she does.

And it's my fault I couldn't read her mind to know it was my fault. You have to learn to "read her words" When a woman says, "everything is fine" NO it is not!! Se needs to have her feeling validated. Watch her body anf face as she says things to you. That should help you see that when she says, "It's ok"...that she really means, " It is not ok, but since you do not understand me than there is no point in all this" Yet you have to reassure her!! Confusing isn't it?! :p

:goofy:

Check out those books by John Grey. He seems to be able to explain a lot about men and woman. BAD LUCK! :D

Originally posted by Ted Nugent
Quick update.....

Well it looks as though things are alright now. After a long month and a half battle it's pretty much over. No more fighting or anything, thank God. I still don't get what the whole problem was but apparently it was my fault. And it's my fault I didn't know it was my fault. And it's my fault I couldn't read her mind to know it was my fault. I don't it and I don't think I ever will. LOL At least we're talking again. :p Like she said......."It only proves we can make it through thick and thin." :D

That's what's wrong with us women ya know, we get mad at you men for no reason, and we get blame you for not knowing what we're mad at you about. :lol:

Originally posted by TopCat


Ted, I just wanted to say something here..

And it's my fault I didn't know it was my fault. That is because you see and read things differently than she does.

And it's my fault I couldn't read her mind to know it was my fault. You have to learn to "read her words" When a woman says, "everything is fine" NO it is not!! Se needs to have her feeling validated. Watch her body anf face as she says things to you. That should help you see that when she says, "It's ok"...that she really means, " It is not ok, but since you do not understand me than there is no point in all this" Yet you have to reassure her!! Confusing isn't it?! :p

:goofy:

Check out those books by John Grey. He seems to be able to explain a lot about men and woman. BAD LUCK! :D

My mother (no not you shitbucket :lol: ) said the same things. I'm learning slowly. I just need to pay more attention. :p

If it's this hard now, I can't imagine marriage. :eek: Thank God for cars..........VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM. :goofy:

Originally posted by Ted Nugent


If it's this hard now, I can't imagine marriage. :eek: Thank God for cars..........VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM. :goofy:

Oh Teddie darling you know we'll work it out! ;) :lol:

Originally posted by Shortie Blonde


Oh Teddie darling you know we'll work it out! ;) :lol:

~work~ it out? :eek: *last fluff post lol*