Ok...um... I'm not the one to write out my personal stuff in a forum but, well, seeing lots of other people doing it here and seeing all the good advice given, I'll give it a try.

I'm embarrassed about what I'm about to write because guys don't usually cry about friends like girls do but, oh well.

I'll try to keep it short and to the point because I tend to write and write and write! Anyway, here's a backgrounder: I'm pretty much depressed and have been for about a decade. Not clinically, just unhappy with my life. I'm not a quitter so for 10 years, over and over, I've been picking myself up after being knocked down (be it job, friends, etc) and recently, I've finally got myself a positive outlook on life and a better attitude towards the way my life it right now. Well, still depressed but less than before.

Ok, so, my little problem is... I have a friend who I considered my best friend before (yes Blitzkid, it's you-know-who). We always went out and did offbeat things (filming surreal things in the city, etc). We always had a great time. Confided in each other, etc. I also told him everything, my feelings, fears, etc.

Well, one day it all changed when he got a girlfriend. It's the usual story how once a guy finds a girl he no longer sees his pals. Fine, I expected it to happen. It's only natural. But we still managed to spend time together. Before you start thinking things, my problem is not his girlfriend. The problem is since then, he acts like I never told him anything, nothing's wrong, etc. Like our friendship is nothing but a convenience thing.

Of course, I'm hurt big time and I have spoken to him 3 times about this (reember, I'm not a quitter). Yet, he's still acting like nothing's wrong. Even when all our friends notice my different attitude around him, he still doesn't see it.

It's hard for me to end the friendship since we go out with the same group of friends, go to the same family functions, etc.

The result is I now feel really uncomfortable with him, talking to him, emails, whatever. It's hard to make eye contact. I feel angry and hurt with him and I don't put any effort in talking to him. I mean, why should I?

So, just hoping anyone can offer some words of wisdom or advice on this. Has anyone been through this? Am I just acting like a baby? I can talk to him about it yet again but as the past has proven, it won't do anything.

Your friend doesn't seem to be too different from other guys I've known over the years who've had girlfriends. He may not realize that he's acting differently towards you. A lot of guys who have girlfriends seem to change in some way because they are walking around with blinders on. The love bug hits them and they go off on another set of tracks but they don't recognize the change themselves. I'd say give him some space and he'll snap out of it eventually or marry her and then he'll be looking to talk to you again. Right now as he sees it, everything is fine, but that can change too. Hope that helps, Sketcher.

Yeah , Id have to agree with Sarg... this seems pretty typical in my expierences too. I know it can be disheartening when friends"ditch" you....... but give him time... he'll come around.. ;)

Thats just the way guys are. Im not being judgemental whatsoever, but it kind of sounds like you have a little crush going on. It seems to me you need to think about the fact you didnt loose a friend but maybe a partner. Please dont get pissed, thats just what I get from your writing. Good Luck!!!

A crush? I guess by the way I wrote it does sound like I'm a woman who is devestated and is about to belt out "I Will Survive". No, there's no crush (being straight and all ;) but I know what you mean).

I guess what I was trying to write is I took it hard that he's no longer there when I need his help. After all the things he does know.

So you 3 think it's because he's got a girlfriend that he changed?

Well, I'm already doing the giving him space thing. Really, there's not much else I can do ;)

Thanks for the tips and showing me the light.

I saw lean on your other friends.
I am assuming you do have other friends right? Well if you do spend your time with them.. and give this friend his space. If he is a true friend he will give you a call when he is ready.

Yep, I can understand the way you're feeling...since the same situation happened to me, but I was in the position of the "best friend" guy.

All I can say is that you have to live with that for now - keep in contact with your friend, but don't push it, otherwise you may have to experience that your friendship might break for good in the worst case scenario.

And, probably the situation will "normalize" when your friend is realizing that the novelty of having a girlfriend is wearing off. ;)

Originally posted by Milani
I saw lean on your other friends.
I am assuming you do have other friends right? Well if you do spend your time with them.. and give this friend his space. If he is a true friend he will give you a call when he is ready.

Yes, I do have other friends (and I'm thankful for that) and I spend my time with them. In fact, I've been ignoring the one in question because I really feel like I'm being treated as backup but also to give him his space (but it's mostly the backup). I find myself feeling that he really doesn't deserve my friendship (or at least effort on my part) if he treats his friends that way.


Originally posted by Wavemaster keep in contact with your friend, but don't push it, otherwise you may have to experience that your friendship might break for good in the worst case scenario.

I know, that's what's been on my mind. It's like a catch 22 situation. If I ignore him, there's more anger on my part. If I keep in touch, I feel like an idiot. If I do half-and-half I feel even more stupid.

I think for now it's best I continue with my other friends and just ignore him. It's now, what, 10 months and he still doesn't get it?