Does anyone else have problems with self esteem issues??? I've just fallen into some self esteem problems lately. TRying to figure out a way to improve this.

I have been having some MAJOR issues with this lately. Well, within the past couple of months or so. If you'd like to talk, email me....I'd love to talk. (It's something I really don't want to put into the boards...I know that everyone here thinks that we are "great", but it's hard to hear that when you don't "feel" it.)

Anywhoo....email or IM me...!!! (My handles are in my profile.)

{{{HUG}}}

Right there with ya!!

Self esteme is something that I think many people deal with on a daily basis whether they want to admit to it or not. Becasue of my career change I have been dealing with self esteme issues as well as confidence issues. If you want to talk I am here for you also. Let me know.

I have been having issues with that also.
When I have low self asteem about myself I just talk it out with my good friend :D. He always makes me feel better about myslef. Talk to friends that are real close to you and even family members.

My self estem was deeper than the Marianas trench during too many years of my life. Advices?... it's difficult to talk about that. You should know how you are really (don't deceive yourself). You should accept you are as you are. You should know that you have god & bad things, and that EVERYBODY has also good and bad things. You should understand your weaknesses and try to correct it, but never feel ashamed. You should try to be the best person you can be... never try to be like another person you admire. Don't think anyone is better than you; nobody's perfect. Be yourself. Keep in mind you're a wonderful person. Keep in mind that your friends are your friends just because they think you are a wonderful person. Be honest with you and your friends....
I'm far of being Mr. Perfect, but I know what are my weaknesses and I try to improve my bad points... and I feel good. If you believe in yourself, all the people will do the same, and your self steem will grow up. You should talk with your friends...
Do you want more advices? :D Just send me a PM...

Does anyone else have problems with self esteem issues??? I've just fallen into some self esteem problems lately. TRying to figure out a way to improve this.

I deal with it by forcing myself to try to forget about it. Does not always work. :( I learn to deal with it. Not that this is any good advice, Jazz. Just so you know, you are not alone. ;) :rose:

Acutally some things I have tried that work great. 1. flirt--even if you are married. An innocent eye glance helps boost your ego. It make you feel sexy to be wanted. Just be careful to not go too far. :p 2 -- be naked as much as possiable. Course you have to be at home alone to do this but it helps you have no inhibitions. 3.--Get to know your body. If you are single masterbate and if you are with somone try new things and make sure whoever you are with makes you feel like a woman! :D

My advice would be to go someplace like a mall, or sporting event, or concert, and just look around at all the people who you think are GOOFY looking. In your mind, look at them and then know that no matter how bad you may THINK you are, THESE people are that much worse! Always compare yourself to somebody who may not be as pretty, or smart, or funny. It helps you realise that you DO have good qualities. And remember, if you are happy with you, then other peoples opinion dont really matter. Also, accept what hand you are delt. You are not an ugly woman Jazz, so that should be easier to do. Just accept and LOVE YOURSELF! (not in the way TC suggested either!LOL) and life will be A- O- K!!!!

I agree with Jasper. I'll do him one better....go to a County Fair or a Star Trek convention. You'll feel like royalty!

You all think I was kidding...but I read it once in a magazine. I was serious.

Like Andrew Dice Clay once said, we all do it! Married, dating, single, or whatever... everybody does it.

I don't remember who coined the phrase, but it goes "its sex with someone I love!" :lol:

Thanks for the compliment Jasper. Problem is, I find it hard to believe. I've always seen myself as the plain one. I was the one without the boyfriends in highschool while my friends always had guys around. Hard to change something like that when you've believed it for years.

Thanks for all the advice. :)

Jazzy, I don't want to tell you "the ugly duck" story, but remember it's not only for children!.
Remember that the first think to do it's to have a positive thinking. Don't be a loser before playing the match, do you understand me?.
It's difficult to break the "bad feelings" you have pick up during the years, but if you don't do it these feelings would be deeper and deeper through the days. Remember: maybe you're not the best, but it's sure you're not the worst!.
I shouldn't say that :D, but... Think in all the people you can't bear because they are vains, ridiculous, stupids, liars... and think what they have do in their lives. Are they better than you?. Yes?. So if this kind of people can do it, why don't you, who are SO BETTER?. I'm not sure of explaining my ideas properly but I hope you'll catch the general sense.
And once again: don't hesitate to ask for advices / help / or just to talk. I'm sure everybody wants to support you (because you deserve it).

To quote Stuart Smally (was that his name?)
You're good enough
You're smart enough
and GOSH DARNIT, people like you!


I wont get into the "my friends had boyfriends and I didnt" part, as most of the long time members know how I feel about women who need men to validate thier existance, but let me put it this way, if all it took was a man to make you happy, then your life is pretty nice. Trust me, sometimes relationships that are going to happen and be good, you never realise it. Sometimes things you want so bad are the last thing you need. I'll PM you today and tell you some things. Keep your head up! LIfe is good!

Guancho pretty much hit the nail on the head. Also, look at all the responses you got so far Jazz! Doesn't sound like you're a plain one to me! If you have a chance to talk out your problems with others (like so many have here have offered-- me included :)), you will end up realizing some things aren't that bad as they seem locked up inside your head.

I'd like to add something I read in a "Don't sweat the small stuff for men" book. I think this may applies to women as well:

According to the book, men are natural born prusuiters (I can't even spell! What I mean is, we are always in pursuit of something). We will never be happy until we complete that pursuit. Be it a project, a certain chore, or finding love. We are unhappy and unsatisfied until we finish that pursuit. So in order to be happy, we should try to be happy and enjoy life DURING the pursuit.

I didn't mean to imply that I need a man in my life to be happy. Was just using that as an example of why I might think of myself as being plain. I know I don't need a man to be happy. lol Would be nice, but not necessary. :) Thanks everyone for your input. Means a lot to me.

Look deep within yourself and make sure you're not holding yourself to someone elses standards. Live your life and be happy with who you are. If you're not happy, start changing things, small at first and then move to the bigger things. But only if you don't like what you see.

I don't know if you have any of the same issues that I had but once I finally decided not live my life based on other peoples ideas of the way things should be, my life got much better. March to the beat of your own drum and do the things that make you happy. Remember, if you live your life trying to live to other peoples standards, you'll never be happy with yourself.

Live the life that makes you happy and if someone has a problem with that, it's their problem.

mikie t

I have read the other replies and they have good advice. I don't want to repeat their responses so I'll just add to it.

Someone mentioned that nobody is perfect, everyone has strengths and weaknesses. I'd like to add to that advice. NEVER let anyone bring you down. I'm going to repeat a story I heard on The View. This story is one of the many collections of stories that someone put together in a book. The book is about advice various people, including many celebrities, received which helped them greatly and they received the right advice at the right time. Unfortunately I can't remember the name of the book. I believe this story was about Muhammed Ali :fight: (I hope I spelled his name right). When he was in school a teacher told him he was no good and he would amount to absolutely nothing in his life. After he won a medal he went back to that teacher to show it to him/her to rub it in his/her face. If someone puts you down use that as a motivation to prove them wrong. :lol:

I know people who are very negative. They literally suck the life out of others and bring them down to. They are emotional vampires :vampire: and my advice is to stay away from them. If it's a close family member, etc. and you can't cut them out of your life then at least try to limit the amount of time you spend with that person and try not to let that person's foul attitude bring you down to. I think people like this enjoy bringing other people down so they feel as miserable as they do. :(

Do HEALTHY AND GOOD things that make you feel good about yourself.
A good way to bring up your self esteem is to set goals for yourself. You will feel so good when you acheive them. The goals can be anything you want them to be. It could be fun-related (such as a vacation, do a new hobby that you always wanted to do, etc.), career-related, fitness-related, whatever. That's what I do anyway. It doesn't have to be anything big, just pick things that you enjoy, or you would like to try, or maybe there is something that you would like to change about your life. I had low self-esteem when I was younger but I slowly started to change throughout my adult years as I achieved my goals, therefore increasing my self-esteem and gaining more confidence in myself. When I was a kid I was put down but I had the same attitude as Muhammed Ali. I had a stubborn (F-U) attitude and I wanted to prove them wrong. Of course I was the quiet, shy girl and I never came across that way but deep down inside I would feel pi$$ed off. :mad: There are also people who are the jealous type and they don't like it when other people succeed, especially if that person hasn't acheived their goals yet (regardless of whether or not the person has actually tried to acheive their own goal).

My way to deal with self esteem is very simple, but it works for me.

I will sit down and make a list of all the thing I like about myself or all the things I am good at. Then I willdo as many as those things as possible for some time. That usually works very well for me.

I think the most important thing is to make sure to know that we can only be good at some things in this world. Then it up to ourselves to get as much out of all those good things we can do.

I have not known you for very long, but I do know that you are friendly, supportive and very open minded. I hope you get the best out of those qualities. :) :)

When I get a little down, sometimes it might take a couple of days to snap out of it. I kind of hate to admit this, it's not like I'm an alky or anything (ok, you're thinking DENIAL! first step!) I might have several beers to get a good buzz...(remember..I'm little and it doesn't take that much, ok?) But then..I look around and actually I'm lucky. I have a very nice house (even though I can't keep it clean lol) I have 2 beautiful children whose drawings mean more to me than anything they could ever buy for me. I have a wonderful husband..we are spouses, lovers, and actually best friends. I look into his eyes and he lets me know (even in the down times) that "everything will be ok)

Sure...we all have a little "pity party" once in a while and I hope that whenever any of you need that little lift..you will come here to the xchange and let it out of your system some. Hell...even PM someone.. I did that once and she sent back the sweetest note (you know who you are :)) I had typed her one night because I was feeling down and then the next day I thought "Oh my god..she's gonna think I'm strange for PM ing her" but she didn't. That helped alot.

I do hope that you are able to convince yourself that you are a truly wonderful person...look around..I mean REALLY LOOK AROUND at some situations you hear on the news each day. It could be alot worse.

I did mean to add...(but I didn't want to make my post tooo long...) That the xchange really means alot to me and I luv ya all! How can I say this about people I don't really even know? Don't know...just a feeling. I can type anything on here...if you like it..there will be responses. If you don't..at least I have let off a little steam and let it be lost within the many many pages on here. :)